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Clips from Broad City (2014) (S04E04)

"- Thank you, brudder. - Sure."
Broad City (2014)
"So... Got you a gift."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God. That's an iPad."
Broad City (2014)
"- Yes. - Thank you so much... Um..."
Broad City (2014)
"Wait, why is it not in a box?"
Broad City (2014)
"- It's refurbished. - It is?"
Broad City (2014)
"Except not."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, I just gave you $400 worth of almost-new iPad."
Broad City (2014)
"Now, you gotta get out of here because Abbi's coming,"
Broad City (2014)
"and I want her to think she's the only person getting a gift today."
Broad City (2014)
"Get out of here. Go!"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God, here she is. Go, go, go, go, go! Hide your face!"
Broad City (2014)
"Fuck!"
Broad City (2014)
"My train karma is at an all-time low,"
Broad City (2014)
"- I really need a job. - Mmm-hmm."
Broad City (2014)
"Maybe I just need to aim low."
Broad City (2014)
"- Like maybe Forever 21? - (GROANS)"
Broad City (2014)
"- Love that place. - Or Barnes and Noble, maybe?"
Broad City (2014)
"How many dumps have I taken at Barnes and Noble?"
Broad City (2014)
"Well, that's a solid list. And I got just the thing to seal the deal."
Broad City (2014)
"- Ilana. - For you."
Broad City (2014)
"- No. - Yes."
Broad City (2014)
"Are you kidding me?"
Broad City (2014)
"This is that fancy bag we saw in the window."
Broad City (2014)
"Yep. I have been making so much freakin' "caysh,""
Broad City (2014)
"and having so much fun spending it on myself."
Broad City (2014)
"Was it more than an ounce?"
Broad City (2014)
"Stop stressing about it."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, was it more than my rent?"
Broad City (2014)
"(CLEARS THROAT) Times two."
Broad City (2014)
"What? I mi... I can't keep this."
Broad City (2014)
"I seriously believe in you, Abbi. And you have to dress for success."
Broad City (2014)
"I feel like I spent two hours this morning recycling bottles and cans for $4.15."
Broad City (2014)
"Yows. All right."
Broad City (2014)
"Everyone is gonna see how freakin' hot you are today"
Broad City (2014)
"All right. Thanks, Ilana."
Broad City (2014)
"- Love ya. - Love you, too."
Broad City (2014)
"Himmelz!"
Broad City (2014)
"I have a gift for my little Guatemalan coffee bean,"
Broad City (2014)
"and you will never guess what it is..."
Broad City (2014)
"Himmelz?"
Broad City (2014)
"- Don't you see? - What? No!"
Broad City (2014)
"Jaime, what're you saying?"
Broad City (2014)
"We have bed bugs!"
Broad City (2014)
"(JAIME SOBBING)"
Broad City (2014)
"Thank you!"
Broad City (2014)
"Ew!"
Broad City (2014)
"Love that bag."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh... Well, then have at it!"
Broad City (2014)
"People like us don't get bed bugs!"
Broad City (2014)
"I've been going through a dry spell ever since I cut off my peepee."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, I am in a relationship so I'm safe."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, then maybe we got them from Abbi."
Broad City (2014)
"I went too far."
Broad City (2014)
"Have you been using protection?"
Broad City (2014)
"- What are we even talking about now? - A mattress protector."
Broad City (2014)
"Tell me you got a mattress protector."
Broad City (2014)
"(STAMMERING) Yes."
Broad City (2014)
"You lying. You are a liar!"
Broad City (2014)
"- Mattress protector! - (SCREAMS)"
Broad City (2014)
"Baby's got a brand new bag."
Broad City (2014)
"Can I please speak to the manager?"
Broad City (2014)
"Absolutely. Follow me."
Broad City (2014)
"I always sit on the wooden benches in the subway platform"
Broad City (2014)
"I just love the way the wood feels."
Broad City (2014)
"Bed bugs don't discriminate."
Broad City (2014)
"And what if we promised to learn how to pray?"
Broad City (2014)
"- Or we could move? - No, no, no, no."
Broad City (2014)
"you're looking at 10 years to life."
Broad City (2014)
"- Jesus Christ. - Puta madre!"
Broad City (2014)
"You live in New York City five years, you got bed bugs."
Broad City (2014)
"This moist, dark paper right here."
Broad City (2014)
"That's where they first laid their eggs."
Broad City (2014)
"- (SOBBING) - No, no!"
Broad City (2014)
"I meant literally burn it."
Broad City (2014)
"- Isn't that illegal under federal law? - When it comes to bed bugs,"
Broad City (2014)
"Why couldn't we have just gotten herpes?"
Broad City (2014)
"Then we could at least keep all our stuff"
Broad City (2014)
"and I could've just learned to use concealer."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, I didn't even know where the first one was."
Broad City (2014)
"We should bring that back."
Broad City (2014)
"It's actually an amazing story."
Broad City (2014)
"- Mmm-hmm. - I was a trainer."
Broad City (2014)
"A janitor at the gym."
Broad City (2014)
"into a "fitty" job."
Broad City (2014)
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
Broad City (2014)
"You know? And that's exactly what I did, Lisa."
Broad City (2014)
"That's exactly what I did."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, that is how you nail an interview."
Broad City (2014)
"I can't believe I'm about to say this but..."
Broad City (2014)
"- You have bed bugs. - How'd you know?"
Broad City (2014)
"Because Brenda was using Sushi Mambeaux"
Broad City (2014)
"as her own personal hussy hut."
Broad City (2014)
"- What? - Clean out your ears, Other Tonya."
Broad City (2014)
"Brenda was running a prostitution ring out of Sushi Mambeaux after hours."
Broad City (2014)
"and made yourself a little breast egg 'cause who knows if we'll bounce back."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, where are you gonna go?"
Broad City (2014)
"I'm gonna go wherever I can be the best father"
Broad City (2014)
"to my only son."
Broad City (2014)
"I guess this is our lives now. We have bed bugs."
Broad City (2014)
"- You have it a lot worse than I do. - It's 'cause I'm sweeter."
Broad City (2014)
"- What are we gonna do? - I'm calling Abbi."
Broad City (2014)
"(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)"
Broad City (2014)
"In here!"
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, hey, hey. Bodine. Bodine, hey!"
Broad City (2014)
"- Bodine, please! Just... Bodine... - (PHONE BEEPING)"
Broad City (2014)
"- (PHONE BEEPING) - All right, withdraw the money."
Broad City (2014)
"- All right. - Before she gets back."
Broad City (2014)
"- What for? - (STAMMERS) My PIN, I just..."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God. I'm mugging you, bitch!"
Broad City (2014)
"- Okay, okay. - (ATM BEEPING)"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, let me guess. Were you born in 1-9-88?"
Broad City (2014)
"- Jesus. Good PIN. - Okay, you know what?"
Broad City (2014)
"I don't usually have a gun pointed at me, bitch."
Broad City (2014)
"I have a license to carry this."
Broad City (2014)
"- Do you wanna see my permit? - No."
Broad City (2014)
"- Do you wanna see it? - No, I don't."
Broad City (2014)
"No, I didn't think so. Go to your fucking balance now."
Broad City (2014)
"- Come on! - I'm just not doing very well right now."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God. Is this a joke?"
Broad City (2014)
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