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Clips from Scrubs - Our Stuff Gets Real (S09E09)

I guess. But having a baby's not like dying.

"I guess. But having a baby's not like dying."

Scrubs

It's... It's exactly like dying.

"It's... It's exactly like dying."

Scrubs

We have Sam on the weekends, we know how to handle it.

"We have Sam on the weekends, we know how to handle it."

Scrubs

Yeah, but step-kids aren't the same. They're a rental.

"Yeah, but step-kids aren't the same. They're a rental."

Scrubs

You gotta take mildly good care of them,

"You gotta take mildly good care of them,"

Scrubs

return them with a full tank of gas and not too many dents.

"return them with a full tank of gas and not too many dents."

Scrubs

I'll tell you what, there, Barbie,

"I'll tell you what, there, Barbie,"

Scrubs

I'm gonna go ahead and give you my own version

"I'm gonna go ahead and give you my own version"

Scrubs

of something your husband told you,

"of something your husband told you,"

Scrubs

but you couldn't hear because you're married to him.

"but you couldn't hear because you're married to him."

Scrubs

After that baby comes, nothing goes back to normal.

"After that baby comes, nothing goes back to normal."

Scrubs

Time doesn't slow down. It only gets faster.

"Time doesn't slow down. It only gets faster."

Scrubs

And then 20 years later you find yourself signing a will

"And then 20 years later you find yourself signing a will"

Scrubs

and realizing that you didn't spend nearly enough time

"and realizing that you didn't spend nearly enough time"

Scrubs

with the one person you care most about.

"with the one person you care most about."

Scrubs

- God, I wish J.D. Had said that. - Ah, don't blame yourself.

"- God, I wish J.D. Had said that. - Ah, don't blame yourself."

Scrubs

I can't understand him, either. Sounds like a bag of cats.

"I can't understand him, either. Sounds like a bag of cats."

Scrubs

I wanted to tell you I was wrong. I'm sorry.

"I wanted to tell you I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Scrubs

Look, you know this is what I do before big, life-changing events.

"Look, you know this is what I do before big, life-changing events."

Scrubs

I get way inside my own head and freak out.

"I get way inside my own head and freak out."

Scrubs

Like, three weeks before med school started,

"Like, three weeks before med school started,"

Scrubs

I got way into shoplifting and watching anime pornography.

"I got way into shoplifting and watching anime pornography."

Scrubs

I mean, I'm talking some weird-ass cartoons, man.

"I mean, I'm talking some weird-ass cartoons, man."

Scrubs

Anyway, I love you,

"Anyway, I love you,"

Scrubs

and I didn't mean to ruin the babymoon.

"and I didn't mean to ruin the babymoon."

Scrubs

You didn't.

"You didn't."

Scrubs

Panther Claw, the Walrus has landed.

"Panther Claw, the Walrus has landed."

Scrubs

TURK ON WALKIE-TALKIE: Roger that. We're set for go.

"TURK ON WALKIE-TALKIE: Roger that. We're set for go."

Scrubs

(EXHALES) Oh, my God, J.D.

"(EXHALES) Oh, my God, J.D."

Scrubs

I figured if you couldn't go to the babymoon,

"I figured if you couldn't go to the babymoon,"

Scrubs

I'd bring the babymoon to you.

"I'd bring the babymoon to you."

Scrubs

- You did all this by yourself? - Well, I had a little help.

"- You did all this by yourself? - Well, I had a little help."

Scrubs

Denise brought some non-alcoholic beer.

"Denise brought some non-alcoholic beer."

Scrubs

(ELLIOT LAUGHS)

"(ELLIOT LAUGHS)"

Scrubs

Yeah, I got it for this dude I'm railing. He used to be an alkie.

"Yeah, I got it for this dude I'm railing. He used to be an alkie."

Scrubs

Probably not an appropriate time to bring all that up, but there it is.

"Probably not an appropriate time to bring all that up, but there it is."

Scrubs

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Scrubs

Oh.

"Oh."

Scrubs

Got any milk yet?

"Got any milk yet?"

Scrubs

- He should go. - Get the hell out of here.

"- He should go. - Get the hell out of here."

Scrubs

- Shall we? - We shall.

"- Shall we? - We shall."

Scrubs

J. D: We all have points in life when things get painfully real.

"J. D: We all have points in life when things get painfully real."

Scrubs

(EXCLAIMING)

"(EXCLAIMING)"

Scrubs

Ben, I haven't even touched you yet.

"Ben, I haven't even touched you yet."

Scrubs

You're doing a great job.

"You're doing a great job."

Scrubs

J. D: When thinking about the end makes you re-evaluate the now.

"J. D: When thinking about the end makes you re-evaluate the now."

Scrubs

There, I just signed your ridiculous will.

"There, I just signed your ridiculous will."

Scrubs

that just you and I can go away this weekend. No kids.

"that just you and I can go away this weekend. No kids."

Scrubs

The no-kids thing is not really a big deal

"The no-kids thing is not really a big deal"

Scrubs

But it would be really nice to get away from the nannies.

"But it would be really nice to get away from the nannies."

Scrubs

- Your will. - Thank you.

"- Your will. - Thank you."

Scrubs

I'd like to propose a toast.

"I'd like to propose a toast."

Scrubs

To our deaths,

"To our deaths,"

Scrubs

may they be untimely and inconvenient for all our loved ones.

"may they be untimely and inconvenient for all our loved ones."

Scrubs

- So sweet. - I love you.

"- So sweet. - I love you."

Scrubs

(ELLIOT LAUGHS)

"(ELLIOT LAUGHS)"

Scrubs

J. D: I guess you're just lucky if you have someone

"J. D: I guess you're just lucky if you have someone"

Scrubs

who'll go along for the ride with you.

"who'll go along for the ride with you."

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- I can't believe we're having a baby. - I know. It's pretty amazing, huh?

"- I can't believe we're having a baby. - I know. It's pretty amazing, huh?"

Scrubs

This is pretty awesome, though, right? I mean, this is as good as hotel sex.

"This is pretty awesome, though, right? I mean, this is as good as hotel sex."

Scrubs

You know, there is a HoJo's down the street.

"You know, there is a HoJo's down the street."

Scrubs

Thin walls, scratchy towels, sketchy types out front.

"Thin walls, scratchy towels, sketchy types out front."

Scrubs

- What do you say? - Motel sex?

"- What do you say? - Motel sex?"

Scrubs

Ooh.

"Ooh."

Scrubs

It'll be like I'm a senator and you're a tobacco lobbyist.

"It'll be like I'm a senator and you're a tobacco lobbyist."

Scrubs

We should arrive separately.

"We should arrive separately."

Scrubs

Or you're a bored housewife,

"Or you're a bored housewife,"

Scrubs

and I'm a strapping drifter looking for a warm meal and some comfort.

"and I'm a strapping drifter looking for a warm meal and some comfort."

Scrubs

Dr. D, what are you doing here?

"Dr. D, what are you doing here?"

Scrubs

Close me up! Close me up!

"Close me up! Close me up!"

Scrubs

Hey, if J.D. Sees me, I wasn't here. Close me up! Close me up!

"Hey, if J.D. Sees me, I wasn't here. Close me up! Close me up!"

Scrubs

There will be a quiz next class on the structure of the heart.

"There will be a quiz next class on the structure of the heart."

Scrubs

Is that because by sleeping with Cole I've invalidated myself as a person?

"Is that because by sleeping with Cole I've invalidated myself as a person?"

Scrubs

Hello.

"Hello."

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J. D: More, please.

"J. D: More, please."

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That's not what I pictured.

"That's not what I pictured."

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LUCY: Ben was our cadaver.

"LUCY: Ben was our cadaver."

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You don't know. It's crazy.

"You don't know. It's crazy."

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with Elliot after the baby came,

"with Elliot after the baby came,"

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We have to do the babymoon.

"We have to do the babymoon."

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J. D: Turk freaked me out about what would happen

"J. D: Turk freaked me out about what would happen"

Scrubs

(SIGHS)

"(SIGHS)"

Scrubs

J.D., I got your page. Look, before you say anything,

"J.D., I got your page. Look, before you say anything,"

Scrubs

(LAUGHS)

"(LAUGHS)"

Scrubs