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Clips from The Golden Girls - Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding? (S01E01)

"It's just that I'm so anxious about meeting this guy that Kate's bringing."
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"(doorbell"
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"- I can't find my culottes! - Grandma, you look sensational!"
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"for the past six months, I've been seeing a doctor named Dennis."
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"The day after tomorrow, Dennis and I are flying to the Bahamas"
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"It wouldn't be much of a wedding without both of my parents there."
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"- Now go ahead, call him. - I'll call him. You talk to him."
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"Hello, Stan? Dorothy... Dorothy Zbornak..."
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"Yes, I'm fine, fine..."
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"I never understood why people throw rice at weddings anyway."
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"It's good to see that you're not bitter."
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"Of course not. He's on vacation!"
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"Oh, oh, a foot doctor."
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"Ma!"
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"(doorbell"
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"And speaking of jokes, Stan, that is some toupee you've got."
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"I'd like you to meet my ex-husband, Stan Zbornak."
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"There aren't too many women around who could swallow their pride"
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"- Yeah. - Uh..."
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"Come on, Sophia. It'll be fun. We can catch up with old times."
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"Luckily, my memories of you were wiped out!"
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"- See ya. - Bye."
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"We are talking about your daughter's wedding, Dorothy Zbornak!"
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"Oh, she's really upset. We better keep an eye on her."
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"You know the type, with the big biceps and the hairy chest,"
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"I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"
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"but she was the best Abraham Lincoln the third grade ever saw."
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"- Mother, you promised! - I know, I know. Just ignore me, Stan."
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"Princess, before I forget, I want to invite you and Dennis"
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"That's Chrissy in a hot tub. That's me and Chrissy at a luau."
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"I'm gonna let you in on a sorority secret that was passed on to me"
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"He gives me the creeps. He's been following me."
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"Rose, in Miami, it is not a felony to cut the wedding cake!"
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"I know. But I want to."
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"If you leave it there, you get a blister and you gotta eat Jell-O all week."
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"If you get rid of it, the sore heals, and you feel better."
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"I heard it from some lawyer over the telephone."
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"And it was a rotten thing to do!"
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"- Look, Dorothy, we... - I said goodbye, Stanley."
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"Honey, we just saw Stanley leaving. Are you all right?"
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"And the next day, maybe better still."
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"Of course, Dorothy. After 38 years, there are always bound to be"
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"Your heart is true You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"You would see the biggest gift would be from me"
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"And the card attached would say"
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Oh, great, great, wonderful! My daughter is lost!"
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"I'm just terrible at giving directions!"
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"- I gave Kate the directions over the phone. - And who are you, Rand McNally?"
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"You couldn't make a mistake?"
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"Shall I set this down someplace?"
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"No, Rose, go to the corner and open a stand!"
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"Do you think it's serious?"
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"Well, they've been together now for six months."
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"That's the longest she's been interested in any man since Paul McCartney."
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"Yes, Rose."
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"Do you know anything about this boy's family background?"
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"- All I know is that he's a doctor. - A doctor!"
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"The heck with his background!"
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"Do you have any idea how much a doctor makes these days?"
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"I mean, the important thing is that he and Kate have a good relationship."
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"'Course if they happen to get married, I will shout from every rooftop in Miami,"
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""My son-in-law's a doctor!""
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"- Hi, Mom! - Oh, baby!"
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"Oh, it is so good to see you! Oh, look everybody, look who's here!"
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"- You look glorious! - Where is he? Where's your doctor?"
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"Dennis is at a seminar. I'll bring him by tomorrow."
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"Relax, relax, you're already in the will!"
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"Before anyone does anything, I have a big announcement to make."
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"As my mother has undoubtedly already told you and the rest of Miami,"
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"Ma, Ma, he's her boyfriend. He just happens to be a doctor, OK?"
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"- and we're getting married. - Oh, that's terrific!"
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"- Oh! That's so exciting! - Oh, I can't, I can't believe it!"
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"Oh, I am so happy! My daughter is marrying a doctor!"
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"In the Bahamas."
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"- You are getting married in the Bahamas? - This is fabulous."
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"I always wanted to go to the Bahamas! Now where the hell are my culottes?"
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"Oh, Kate, Kate, honey, I have always dreamed of giving you a wedding!"
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"Ever since I had your overbite fixed."
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"Don't you think it would be awkward, with you and Dad not talking?"
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"Now just a minute! I am not the one who ran off to Maui with someone half my age"
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"and twice my bra size!"
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"You see what I mean? That's why we're getting married in the Bahamas."
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"You are not getting married on an island by a priest"
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"wearing clam diggers and a Harry Belafonte shirt!"
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"You'll get married right here in Miami."
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"Kate, I could put together a lovely reception here at the house."
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"And I could take care of the catering!"
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"I have always dreamed of wearing a long, white gown"
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"and marching down the aisle on my father's arm."
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"Who said anything about inviting your father?"
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"- Mother! - Oh, all right, honey."
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"Your wedding day should be the most beautiful day of your life."
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"- Promise? - Promise."
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"Then it's settled. Now call your father and tell the dirt bag he can come."
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"Forget it, Mom. I can just as easily limbo down the aisle."
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"Relax honey. I just want to get it all out of my system before he gets here."
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"All right. If I can get through an entire wedding with him,"
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"with that yellow-bellied sleazeball!"
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"The one who gave you the best years of her thighs."
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"Yeah, well, you know, after two years, I figured you weren't coming back."
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"I'll tell you the reason I'm calling you - Kate is getting married."
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"Yes, married... Yes, yes, in a few days,"
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"and I'm giving her a little wedding here in Miami and I wanted to invite you."
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"Oh, I'm so sorry..."
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"Oh, really? No, I didn't know that could happen from a tanning machine."
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"- Dorothy, you were magnificent! - You certainly were! How did you do it?"
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"I just kept telling myself that once he was here,"
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"he'd be close enough to kill."
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"I can't believe Stan has the nerve to show his face at this wedding!"
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"The man has a right to see his daughter get married!"
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"- I never should have called him. - You never should have married him!"
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"- Hi, hi, hi! - Oh, hi, Blanche."
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"Wedding elves."
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"It's that cheap hair dye she uses. It finally ate through!"
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"- No, we're doing fine, Blanche. - Oh, no, honey!"
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