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Clips from Modern Family - Fears (S01E01)

"Oh. Thank you. The recipe's from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine."
Modern Family
"Why do all the things I love go away?"
Modern Family
"No, we heard it. It was clear as day. I- I just don't know what we've done wrong."
Modern Family
"I quit my job so I could stay at home with her."
Modern Family
"[Tearfully] But maybe it's not enough."
Modern Family
"- [Sobs] - Yeah, I wouldn't be too concerned about that."
Modern Family
"Cam. No, I'm sorry. What?"
Modern Family
"Pandas are from China. I- Well, it doesn't matter."
Modern Family
"Okay, okay. I think what my hysterical partner is just trying to say, if I may,"
Modern Family
"that for the first six months of her life,"
Modern Family
"Lily was raised by very loving Asian women, in an orphanage,"
Modern Family
"And then suddenly you come in with all of your Asian-ness..."
Modern Family
"and-and-and breasts and womb, lady bits-"
Modern Family
"and it all just comes rushing back to her, and I-"
Modern Family
"You guys are overreacting."
Modern Family
"I'm sure Lily just strung a couple of random syllables together,"
Modern Family
"and they happen to sound something like that word."
Modern Family
"- Do you really think that? - Of course."
Modern Family
"Mommy."
Modern Family
"Okay. Well- [Silverware Clattering]"
Modern Family
"- Mr. Tucker- - Okay. No, no, no."
Modern Family
"All right, left turn. Here?"
Modern Family
"At the intersection, yeah. Okay."
Modern Family
"What? I said left. You're going right."
Modern Family
"Wait. No, wait. I'm trying, okay? Pull over."
Modern Family
"- No, I can do this! - Pull over now."
Modern Family
"- Why are you crying? - Why do you hate me?"
Modern Family
"Oh, hell. Haley, I don't hate you."
Modern Family
"You seem like a nice girl. You remind me of my daughter."
Modern Family
"Which is why I want you to live a long and happy life..."
Modern Family
"I really want my license."
Modern Family
"I've been practicing a lot, I swear. [Sniffles]"
Modern Family
"- You gonna drink and drive? - No, sir."
Modern Family
"- You gonna text and drive? - No, sir."
Modern Family
"All right. Let's start this from the beginning."
Modern Family
"Could you smile first?"
Modern Family
"Okay, that didn't help."
Modern Family
"Just go."
Modern Family
"[Gulls Cawing]"
Modern Family
"[Manny] Today feels like a good day for halibut."
Modern Family
"I used peanut butter and jelly for bait and I caught a thresher shark?"
Modern Family
"I don't know. You tell me a lot of funny things."
Modern Family
"Why are we going this way?"
Modern Family
"It's just another way to go."
Modern Family
"Uh-oh. Something's going on."
Modern Family
"She's trying to get me on that roller coaster."
Modern Family
"[People Screaming]"
Modern Family
"No, she's not. Yes, I am."
Modern Family
"- What? - Told you."
Modern Family
"Manny, you have to face your fears."
Modern Family
"That's why we're here? Why didn't you let me in on your little plan?"
Modern Family
"Because you're the worst liar. He would have seen right through you."
Modern Family
"I don't wanna go on the roller coaster."
Modern Family
"Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue,"
Modern Family
"but now your eyebrows have grown back..."
Modern Family
"and your salmon is legendary."
Modern Family
"What if I fall out? I will catch you."
Modern Family
"That's not possible. He would crush you."
Modern Family
"What if I throw up?"
Modern Family
"I will clean it up. It wouldn't be the first time."
Modern Family
"You're not gonna let up, are you?"
Modern Family
"Baby, I think you know the answer."
Modern Family
"[Sighs] Fine. Let's get it over with."
Modern Family
"No, I'm not going on that. That's bad for my back."
Modern Family
"Your back is fine. I got an inner-ear thing."
Modern Family
"Oh, please. Don't tell me you're scared too. Scared?"
Modern Family
"What is this "scared" stuff?"
Modern Family
"What am I, a child? I'm not scared."
Modern Family
"Well, if he's not going, I'm not going."
Modern Family
"Oh, for God's sake, fine! I'll go alone."
Modern Family
"Here. Take my girlie purse and you my floppy hat,"
Modern Family
"I'm not man enough to fight this."
Modern Family
"Oh, hell!"
Modern Family
"What's taking them so long? I don't know."
Modern Family
"The only reason I'm not panicking is I haven't seen a giant geyser."
Modern Family
"You know, honey, I think I know why you don't wanna go tonight."
Modern Family
"Because school dances are lame? No."
Modern Family
"'Cause you don't know how to dance. That's not it."
Modern Family
"I can help you with that. Come on. Come on. Oh, God, no. No, Mom."
Modern Family
"♪♪ [Humming] Mom. Mom, stop. Stop."
Modern Family
"Please, stop. I know how to dance."
Modern Family
"I just don't wanna be part of that freak show."
Modern Family
"I know that. It's just stupid."
Modern Family
"Somebody will ask you. Why do you keep saying that?"
Modern Family
"Somebody will ask you."
Modern Family
"Honey, if they don't,"
Modern Family
"then you do the exact same thing I told your sister, okay?"
Modern Family
"Take three deep breaths and relax."
Modern Family
"Mom, I did it! I passed!"
Modern Family
"I got my license! [Claire] Congratulations!"
Modern Family
"I have my license! I got my license!"
Modern Family
"Car's not in "park." Oh. Oops."
Modern Family
"Go. Right now. Run! Run!"
Modern Family
"You know, maybe it's better we don't solve this little mystery."
Modern Family
"Sometimes treasure's more sparkly in your imagination."
Modern Family
"Or it could be gold or baseball cards or pirate maps."
Modern Family
"Do you really think there could be pirate maps under there?"
Modern Family
"I'm a hundred percent sure it's possible."
Modern Family
"[Hyperventilating]"
Modern Family
"Really? Buddy."
Modern Family
"Whoa."
Modern Family
"What do you see? Nothing. It's really dark in here."
Modern Family
"Wait a minute. I think I see my truck."
Modern Family
"It's right over there by the- Uh-oh."
Modern Family
"What? I think I'm stuck."
Modern Family
"How are you stuck? My belt loop got caught on a pipe."
Modern Family
"And it's hot. Have you tried wiggling?"
Modern Family
"I'm coming, buddy! And hurry. There's spiders in here."
Modern Family
"Oh!"
Modern Family
"Coming!"
Modern Family
"I'm sorry if we got all weird in there."
Modern Family
"No. It was fine."
Modern Family
"Well, we'd like to say it's different than how it usually is,"
Modern Family
"but you've seen us enough to know that that's not true."
Modern Family
"She was born in Japan- crazy traditional."
Modern Family
"She didn't want me to become a doctor. She wanted me to get married and have kids."
Modern Family
"But my father, we would talk..."
Modern Family
"and he would actually listen to what I wanted."
Modern Family
"Anyway, what I'm trying to say..."
Modern Family
"is having a mother isn't always what it's cracked up to be."
Modern Family
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