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Clips from Modern Family - Fears (S01E01)

"What if it's gold bars? Oh, you think?"
Modern Family
"For God sakes, why don't you go under the house and look?"
Modern Family
"Hey, Cam. Cam, where did we get this dolly from?"
Modern Family
"Seems a little frilly, you know, coming from them."
Modern Family
"What, because they're lesbians? That's sort of an offense stereotype, don't you think?"
Modern Family
"No. It was too big. They were on their motorcycle."
Modern Family
"We got off to an awkward start with our pediatrician, a very nice Asian lady-"
Modern Family
"Irrelevant. Named Dr. Miura."
Modern Family
"So I took the bold step of inviting her over for brunch."
Modern Family
"[Chuckles] I'm sorry. Uh, bold?"
Modern Family
"She said no patient had ever done it before."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Subtext, "This is weird.""
Modern Family
"I didn't hear any subtext."
Modern Family
"Because what if Lily gets sick and there's a Tamiflu shortage?"
Modern Family
"Who do you think's gonna get that medicine?"
Modern Family
"The patient she likes, that's who."
Modern Family
"Well, maybe if you bake her a cake, she'll give us free X-rays."
Modern Family
"It's all about making connections."
Modern Family
"Why do you think the dentist gives me all that free stuff?"
Modern Family
"Um, because he's a huge queen and he has a big crush on you."
Modern Family
"Really? Do you think so?"
Modern Family
"[Manny] Mom? [Gloria] Hmm?"
Modern Family
"- I have a fever. - Ay, mi amor. Come here and I feel you."
Modern Family
"Let me feel you."
Modern Family
"Ay, papi, but you're not warm."
Modern Family
"I better skip the party tomorrow just to be safe."
Modern Family
"What? [Whispering] The party."
Modern Family
"I understand about 20% of what goes on around here."
Modern Family
"and Manny's afraid of roller coasters. Poor kid."
Modern Family
"I don't know where he gets his fear from..."
Modern Family
"because his father's not afraid of anything."
Modern Family
"No bulls, no heights, no helicopters, no fast cars-"
Modern Family
"But go to dinner with him and wait for the check to come."
Modern Family
"Then you'll see fear in his eyes."
Modern Family
"Like the waiter's a ghost."
Modern Family
"Excited? Yeah."
Modern Family
"We're like Ponce de León and his son, Little Ponce."
Modern Family
"Who's that? Famous treasure hunters."
Modern Family
"His name was Ponce? He'd get made fun of at my school."
Modern Family
"They'd probably call him "Pants." [Laughing]"
Modern Family
"Pants. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"Or maybe, um, "Fancy Ponce.""
Modern Family
"All right."
Modern Family
"Let's do this. [Squeaking]"
Modern Family
"Oh! Hey! Wow."
Modern Family
"Yep. Gonna take a little more than getting trapped..."
Modern Family
"in a small, dark space with a wild animal to rattle your old man."
Modern Family
"All right. [Phil] You never want your kids to see you scared."
Modern Family
"Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock."
Modern Family
"Let's start over. It's windy, and you've got a lot of papers."
Modern Family
"[Squeaking] Okay! Good recon."
Modern Family
"Got the lay of the land, so-"
Modern Family
"Aren't we going in? Yep, we are."
Modern Family
"But won't it be fun if we did it with ski goggles and barbecue tools?"
Modern Family
"I guess. Yeah."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Let's do that. All right."
Modern Family
"You actually have quite a nice figure."
Modern Family
"Oh."
Modern Family
"- Lily looks great. - [Cameron] Do you think so?"
Modern Family
"Shouldn't she have more teeth? I see these kids running around at the park,"
Modern Family
"Don't worry. She's perfect."
Modern Family
"Aren't you, Lily? Oh, look how calm she is with you."
Modern Family
"She's usually very fidgety around new people."
Modern Family
"Well, I just think she senses you're gonna be a good friend for her..."
Modern Family
"[Choking] Did she just-"
Modern Family
"Did she just say-"
Modern Family
"Well, her first word..."
Modern Family
"was every gay father's worst nightmare."
Modern Family
""Mommy." Oh."
Modern Family
"Jay, he won't admit it,"
Modern Family
"but I know that Manny's sad because he's missing the party."
Modern Family
"Why don't we take him somewhere to take his mind off it, hmm?"
Modern Family
"I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters."
Modern Family
"That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror."
Modern Family
"How about we take him to the pier and go fishing, huh? Manny!"
Modern Family
"He likes to fish? Yeah."
Modern Family
"- Manny, you like to fish? - Fishing? Yeah."
Modern Family
"You want to go to the pier today?"
Modern Family
"Is this a trick to see if I'm really sick? No."
Modern Family
"Maybe the fresh air will make you feel better."
Modern Family
"Well, then yeah, 'cause there's no place where I'm more at one with-"
Modern Family
"Just get your coat."
Modern Family
"Are you nervous? Shut up, Alex."
Modern Family
"I was just asking. I'd be nervous if I were you."
Modern Family
"Alex, leave your sister alone. She's gonna be fine."
Modern Family
"As long as I don't get the same guy. He's so mean."
Modern Family
"You probably will. You won't."
Modern Family
"He yelled at me. You drove into the bushes."
Modern Family
"Oh, no. It's him. Please don't be for me. Please don't be for me."
Modern Family
"Please don't be for me. Please don't be me. Hi."
Modern Family
"Oh, thank God."
Modern Family
"Well, come on. I don't have all day."
Modern Family
"I'm gonna throw up. Okay, no. This is what you're gonna do."
Modern Family
"You're gonna get in that car, put on your seat belt..."
Modern Family
"and take three deep breaths and relax."
Modern Family
"This guy sees hundreds of kids every day."
Modern Family
"He probably doesn't even remember you, all right? Okay."
Modern Family
"[Sighs]"
Modern Family
"[Breathing Heavily] That's more than three breaths, honey."
Modern Family
"See how much better this is?"
Modern Family
"The truck goes in. It gets video."
Modern Family
"And then we get a preview of whatever's in there. How ingenious is that, huh?"
Modern Family
"Are you just scared to go in?"
Modern Family
"Why would you say that?"
Modern Family
"Well, when you stuck your head in, you screamed a little."
Modern Family
"I told you. That was the house settling."
Modern Family
"Now, hand me the ltty Bitty Book Light."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Final piece of the puzzle."
Modern Family
"[Lmitates Explosion] Blast off."
Modern Family
"[Motor Whirring]"
Modern Family
"Hey, Dad? Yeah?"
Modern Family
"Stay in the present, buddy. Gotta do it by feel."
Modern Family
"Gotta get all Jedi on it."
Modern Family
"- [Motor Grinding] - Uh-oh."
Modern Family
"- Did you just lose my truck? - No."
Modern Family
"You just lost my truck! No, I didn't!"
Modern Family
"That was my truck! Grandpa just gave it to me!"
Modern Family
"- I told you to stay in the present! - Stop yelling!"
Modern Family
"- Truce? - Yeah. Sorry."
Modern Family
"This is delicious."
Modern Family
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