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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon (S01E01)

"in which case, I would have my arms up,"
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"away from my body."
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"Ohh! Yeah!"
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"Eddie, hold my whistle."
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"I found a new thing to be when I grow up."
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"It's called acting."
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"Something that doesn't require preparation or hard work."
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"And I'm prepping for the bar exam"
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"so I can become a lawyer and have..."
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"A stable income and health insurance."
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"Well, if you wanna do homework, that's your "pagrogative.""
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"Mom, why'd you take out the part"
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"where we go to candy corn mountain?"
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"It's called "acting, a cautionary tale,"
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"or Mr. Gumdrop goes to lazywood.""
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"No, I was just letting Dmitri show you"
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"Yeah, we caught that lesson five dunks ago."
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"Dmitri!"
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"Well, then now you're ready for your next lesson."
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"A layup is worth just as many points as a dunk."
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"Substance over style."
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"Dad? I think he's hurt."
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"is out for the season."
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"Dmitri."
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"But we can still win this game by playing good team basketball."
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"You're still coming at us with that noise?"
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"This isn't Taiwan, dad. Nobody plays like that anymore."
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"I'm gonna tell you guys a story"
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"They were a band of ragtag misfits"
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"Some of them were too small. Others too big."
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"But they worked together,"
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"developed a play called "the flying v,""
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"and became unstoppable!"
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"Isn't that "The Mighty Ducks"?"
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"We rented it last weekend."
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"We were hit with a rewind fee, and you're like,"
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"Mm, not ringing a bell."
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"so let's go out there"
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"and let's win one for Charlie Sheen's brother!"
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"Aw, son of a bitch!"
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"So... cold."
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"That's not a bum-drop."
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"That's gumdrop, a classmate from my youth!"
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"I never should've become an actor."
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"It was a complete waste of time."
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"Oh, what happened to Yumland?"
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"Why aren't the other children on stage?"
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"I cut them."
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"If they wanna be actors so bad,"
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"they should get used to being unemployed."
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"Jessica, the school play's supposed to be fun."
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"Yes. I teach my children valuable life lessons"
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"so they can become successful."
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"Ah. Okay. Okay."
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"I can see where we've been getting some complaints."
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"Who complained?"
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"Hey! Unicorn girl with a lisp!"
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"No one understands what you're saying."
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"I'm thowwy."
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"You see what I have to work with?"
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"Speaking from experience,"
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"that was a spanking."
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"They have their own Dmitri. He scored all their points."
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"Guys, good news. I have a plan."
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"We can quit."
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"I was talking to the ref, and there's a mercy rule."
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"He even drew us a map to the nearest Shakey's."
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"Apparently, there's a loser's discount"
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"on mojo potatoes."
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"- Thank goodness! - Yes!"
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"Eddie, you were right."
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"It's about who has the biggest star."
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"No, dad, you can't quit!"
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"And neither can we."
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"We have to beat these jerks."
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"How? Their Dmitri's stronger than us, bigger than us."
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"No, it's not."
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"Quack."
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"Quack."
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"Quack."
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"Quack."
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"Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!"
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"but you know there's no way we can win."
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"I never said we had to win."
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"I said we had to beat them."
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"Uhh!"
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"♪ Wu-tang clan ain't nuthin' ta... With ♪"
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"♪ Rugged lands of Shaolin ♪"
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"And that's exactly how it happened, mom."
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"And we did it as a team."
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"Thanks to you, dad, we didn't just school them."
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"We old schooled them."
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"Well not really."
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"but you did work together as a team."
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"Hey, your dad told me that you guys are in a play."
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"That's so exciting."
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"I shot a home movie in a guy's apartment."
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"And now you're a waitress?"
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"Slash actress."
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"So I don't know if your play is already cast up, but..."
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"Keep me in mind."
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"That's an old picture."
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"It's before I grew into my teeth."
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"Mom, we don't wanna be in the play anymore."
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"Really?"
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"It's a waste of time. We wanna focus on our future."
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"And not end up in the gutter with a low credit rating,"
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"Well, we're also lucky to have them."
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"I know. Can you imagine if we had wasted time like they do?"
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"I mean, would it have been so bad"
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"if your parents had given you a strong work ethic"
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"and the glitter horse?"
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"I worked so hard."
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"I did all my schoolwork, all my chores."
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"and a human face to kiss at night."
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"and built her a stable out of tissue boxes."
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"And Janet Yi had three horses"
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"and she went to Harvard and became an assistant D.A.,"
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"and ultimately, she died in a plane crash,"
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