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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon (S01E01)

"amazing."
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"Whoa. That certainly explains how he caught the apple."
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"Well, I am so glad you are helping us out, Jessica."
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"Yes, became mandatory. Yes."
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"Oh. What am I seeing?"
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"It's called "the sunflower gang goes to Yumland.""
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"Every character has the same number of lines,"
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"and all the world's cultures are equally represented."
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"We've been performing it for six years running..."
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"- Mm. - without offending anyone,"
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"and that includes our "I-talian" families."
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"Oh."
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"Other directors?"
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"Looking good, Maurice."
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"You have four other parents here. Why do you need me?"
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"Plus, when you're putting on a show,"
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"you can never have too many voices chiming in."
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"The Mystic Tiger league?"
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"Yeah, man. Taiwanese-style ball."
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"It's gonna be sick."
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"If you think our team's good now, wait till my dad shows up."
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"Wait's over! Hi, boys."
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"I'm coach Huang, your new..."
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"coach."
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"Dad, teach us how to fly, kick, and dunk at the same time."
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"But for now, everybody grab a partner."
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"And line up across from each other."
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"I want you to bounce the ball to your partner..."
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"- What is that? - It's the bounce pass dragon,"
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"Dad, can I talk to you?"
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"Uh, sure."
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"Uh, go ahead and try some passes, boys."
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"Remember, thumbs down on the release,"
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"I thought you were gonna teach us taiwanese-style ball."
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"That's what I'm doing."
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"That was taiwanese-style basketball?"
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"When you play that far below the rim,"
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"it's all about fundamentals and teamwork."
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"I did. We were sponsored by Mystic Tiger cigarettes."
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"We wanna look cool."
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"Eddie, basketball isn't about looking cool."
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"It's about being a good teammate."
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"That'll help you in life as well."
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"Trust me, one day you'll thank me for this."
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"I told you, Doug, I'm the goggle guy."
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"You can be the wristband guy."
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"I don't wanna be the wristband guy!"
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"My wrists get hot!"
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"Well, we can't have two goggle guys on the team."
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"How will people tell us apart?"
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"- Take 'em off! - No! No!"
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"Hey, boys, stop! You're on the same team!"
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"Dad, let me handle this."
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"Fight! Fight!"
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"All feelings are valid!"
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"The early birds catches the hug!"
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"What a waste of time."
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"Can you imagine if we'd told our parents"
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"we wanna do something like this?"
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"My mother was supportive of my creative pursuits."
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"I actually did the temp track for the voice of the baby"
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"in "look who's talking.""
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"Kirstie Alley is crazy."
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"I mean, my husband and I moved to this country"
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"to give our kids a better life, not this nonsense."
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"Do you think Tetris knows when you need an "I""
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"♪ Dun-da-da-da ♪"
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"Meow!"
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"Aw, hell, no!"
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"All right, boys, I got a surprise for you."
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"I ordered us new uniforms."
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"Where's the rest of the shorts?"
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"We don't need all the extra fabric"
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"getting in the way of our footwork."
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"Look how free his thighs are!"
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"And white."
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"Dad, that's Dmitri, our star player."
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"But..."
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"He's on the team? How old is he?"
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"11 1/2."
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"What?!"
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"That's where his head hits the rim."
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"But he wasn't at practice."
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"Dad, Dmitri doesn't practice."
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"He just shows up to games and crushes it."
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"Eddie, you can't count on one player to carry a whole team."
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"Dmitri! Dmitri! Dmitri! Dmitri! Dmitri!"
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"You lost the game, huh?"
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"No. We won."
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"It... was... awesome."
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"Dmitri looked right at me,"
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"like he almost thought about passing to me!"
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"Why aren't you happy? You won."
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"Because it's not about winning."
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"I'm trying to teach these kids about teamwork,"
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"but their priorities are all wrong."
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"Exactly. They have no work ethic. Not like us."
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"They think life is all gumdrops and worm hugs."
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"And cool goggles and long, flashy shorts."
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"to teach the boys something useful."
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"help prepare him for the real world."
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"But I don't think he gets it."
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"Too bad they don't have caddies in basketball,"
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"'cause I would just love to carry Dmitri's bag and be like,"
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""hey, d., what do you need?"
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"Ball? Towel? Sports drink?""
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"Is that really what you wanna take away from this?"
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"It's better than carrying grandma's bag like Evan."
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"Maybe ones of your "TV guides"?"
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"_"
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"Okay, boys, enough goofing off!"
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"Let's run some drills."
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"Oh. You think drills are lame?"
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"Well, you know who doesn't think they're lame?"
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"Your NBA hero John Stockton."
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"He may play for the jazz,"
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"but there's no improvisation in his game."
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"Ohh!"
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"Nice shot."
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"Of course, that never would've happened"
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