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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon (S01E01)

"I mean, imagine how you'd feel, you know,"
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"if I'd made some sort of bagel statue,"
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"Oh. Gotta go."
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"- What?! - Why? What did we do?"
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"Look, we can't volunteer."
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"♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪"
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"You're directing the school play."
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"You are? Why? You're not gonna become actors."
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"Let me tell you a story about fun."
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"and putting his hands on his waist a lot,"
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"Whoa."
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"Huh? Whoa."
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"The kids love it."
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"Damn you, Tetris."
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"Diversity."
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"We'll get to that."
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"Now this first drill is called the B.P. dragon."
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"Awesome. Nice!"
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"Absolutely."
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"I thought you played in the Mystic Tiger league."
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"Well, we're not trying to learn bounce passes."
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"I couldn't run Cattleman's Ranch without my team."
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"Come on out, Dave!"
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"Looks like someone bleached a ghost."
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"Uh, I'm sorry, sir. Parents have to wait in the gym."
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"If you do, I think you'll find..."
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"Dmitri!"
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"That's why I'm rewriting the school play,"
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"That's what I'm trying to do with Eddie,"
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"Grandma, do you need anything in here?"
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"It teaches the importance of shar..."
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"if I was actually defending Dmitri,"
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"Pull up a chair, gumdrop. You can be our study buddy."
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"Thanks, but I don't need to study anymore."
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"I'm studying to be a doctor so I can make my parents proud."
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"Uh, on the bright side,"
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"I peeked at Dmitri's medical records,"
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"Um..."
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"You have all the training you need,"
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"Man, you suck!"
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"Someone needs our help."
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"Just as I thought..."
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"Don't you do anything just for fun?"
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"and telling them to get you a new coach."
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"It's hopeless."
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"Like my dad said, when you're playing this far below the rim,"
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"I guess what I mean is..."
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"We set the record for most fouls."
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"I'm an actress, too."
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"Good. You got the point of the play."
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"Your backpacks are in the car. You can go study."
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"They are so lucky to have us."
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"Their lives are much different than ours were."
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"I deserved a little horse"
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"I'm just afraid that macaroni art"
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"could be offensive to our "I-talian" families."
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"you know?"
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"Principal Thomas?"
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"Mr. and Mrs. Huang, come in. Come in."
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"We came as soon as we could."
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"Whatever Evan and Emery are in trouble for,"
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"Oh, don't worry. Your boys aren't in trouble."
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"Oh."
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"- What a relief! - Good!"
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"It's what you haven't do."
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"We've been looking through our records,"
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"and we noticed that you haven't volunteered"
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"for any extracurricular activities."
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"Why... why would we do that?"
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"Mrs. Huang, our school budget has experienced major cutbacks."
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"We rely on parents to supervise our after-school programs."
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"Well, I'm sorry. We're busy with our own after-school programs."
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"They're called jobs."
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"Uh, what my wife means is she has her real estate career,"
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"Is there anything else we can do?"
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"Well, you can donate money."
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"- How do we volunteer? - How do we volunteer?"
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"♪ Homey don't know where I come from ♪"
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"♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪"
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"Boys, we've got great news."
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"Where'd you get quesadillas?"
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"but you never said anything about the iron."
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"Both of your schools"
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"are making your father and me mandatory volunteer."
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"I have to the boss of some costume show?"
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"Oh. Oh, yay!"
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"Me and Evan are in the play!"
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"or a magical thing where someone wanders into a Chinatown,"
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"but no."
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"The play is fun."
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"was a sparkle time beauty horse."
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"The knockoff version of my little pony."
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"When you hugged them, it burned,"
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"but you played through that pain."
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"And one in every five had a human face."
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"No, she got something even better..."
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"a strong work ethic."
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"She focused on her studies"
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"and became the first one in her family to go to college."
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"What girl was she talking about?"
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"Connie Chung. Has to be Connie Chung."
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"Who else is there?"
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"Dad, are you volunteering for the school play, too?"
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"Nope, I got a good one."
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"I'm coaching Eddie's basketball team."
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"Oh, dope! We've never had a coach."
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"Trent's been wearing a tie"
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"but nobody's buying it."
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"You bums!"
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"I mentioned I played semi-pro basketball"
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"back in Taiwan, and they assigned it to me."
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"What?! You played hoops? You never told me that!"
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"No, it was years ago. I didn't wanna brag."
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"But yeah."
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"I played point guard in the Mystic Tiger league."
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"That is awesome!"
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"Are you gonna teach us how to play taiwanese-style basketball?"
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"Only way I know how."
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"This... Is gonna be..."
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