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Clips from NewsRadio - Airport (S03E03)

I thought that was what's-her-name's job,

"I thought that was what's-her-name's job,"

NewsRadio

Bill, we've only been gone four days.

"Bill, we've only been gone four days."

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Oh, it's for a medical condition.

"Oh, it's for a medical condition."

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I'm under a lot of stress right now.

"I'm under a lot of stress right now."

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There is a smoking area just a few gates down.

"There is a smoking area just a few gates down."

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I'd be happy to show you where it is.

"I'd be happy to show you where it is."

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Say, do you fellas need some help with the phone?

"Say, do you fellas need some help with the phone?"

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It's 5-5-3-8.

"It's 5-5-3-8."

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Did you get a chance to visit our Gateway Arch?

"Did you get a chance to visit our Gateway Arch?"

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in the hotel, so we decided to stay in.

"in the hotel, so we decided to stay in."

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Bill, what is wrong with you?

"Bill, what is wrong with you?"

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I know.

"I know."

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[PHONE RINGS]

"[PHONE RINGS]"

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Hi, Mom.

"Hi, Mom."

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She's the only one that has my direct line.

"She's the only one that has my direct line."

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I'm not at your Mom's.

"I'm not at your Mom's."

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Why did you take my Mom to St. Louis? What's goin' on?

"Why did you take my Mom to St. Louis? What's goin' on?"

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What's--? What's the number for, uh, Lisa's direct line?

"What's--? What's the number for, uh, Lisa's direct line?"

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Hold the line. I'm transferring you.

"Hold the line. I'm transferring you."

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No don't. No.

"No don't. No."

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No. Don't--

"No. Don't--"

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Well, he cut me off.

"Well, he cut me off."

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What makes Matthew believe that even the simplest tasks

"What makes Matthew believe that even the simplest tasks"

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Really? Yeah.

"Really? Yeah."

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I had a cousin who studied cattle husbandry

"I had a cousin who studied cattle husbandry"

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[LAUGHS LOUDLY]

"[LAUGHS LOUDLY]"

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You get through yet?

"You get through yet?"

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Follow me. Right behind you, chief.

"Follow me. Right behind you, chief."

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is automatically smarter than everyone from the Midwest?

"is automatically smarter than everyone from the Midwest?"

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Will Matthew Brock's mother please pick up

"Will Matthew Brock's mother please pick up"

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the white courtesy telephone?

"the white courtesy telephone?"

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Okay. Bye.

"Okay. Bye."

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All right.

"All right."

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Oh, I can help you with that if you want.

"Oh, I can help you with that if you want."

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Oh, thank God. I have to go

"Oh, thank God. I have to go"

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Well, that's more like it. Mm!

"Well, that's more like it. Mm!"

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I don't play that game. [SIGHS]

"I don't play that game. [SIGHS]"

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We're not?

"We're not?"

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Gee, and I almost mistook the Museum of Yarn

"Gee, and I almost mistook the Museum of Yarn"

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would really open up your mind.

"would really open up your mind."

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Uh, 7:15.

"Uh, 7:15."

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Oh, here. Here. Have one of these.

"Oh, here. Here. Have one of these."

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It's cheese. You're gonna love it.

"It's cheese. You're gonna love it."

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if you wanna take a look at it.

"if you wanna take a look at it."

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I've been handling his stuff. Why don't you run it by me.

"I've been handling his stuff. Why don't you run it by me."

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You think it's fun being the boss?

"You think it's fun being the boss?"

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I think it's a little late for that now, don't you?

"I think it's a little late for that now, don't you?"

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All right. Here it is:

"All right. Here it is:"

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getting romantically involved.

"getting romantically involved."

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No, I said romantically involved.

"No, I said romantically involved."

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Dave got his beeper on him?

"Dave got his beeper on him?"

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I'm sorry. Heh.

"I'm sorry. Heh."

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I'm used to workin' with Dave.

"I'm used to workin' with Dave."

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What?

"What?"

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What does that mean?

"What does that mean?"

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See, uh, Dave eats this all the time.

"See, uh, Dave eats this all the time."

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It'll help.

"It'll help."

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Thank you, sir. Uh-huh.

"Thank you, sir. Uh-huh."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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Are you kidding me?

"Are you kidding me?"

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Oh, well, look who's talking.

"Oh, well, look who's talking."

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Dave and I do not make whoopee in the booth.

"Dave and I do not make whoopee in the booth."

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Whoa, hold on a sec. Hold on. What's "the booth"?

"Whoa, hold on a sec. Hold on. What's "the booth"?"

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How?

"How?"

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Because we didn't, you know...

"Because we didn't, you know..."

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I'm willing to give that a shot, if that's more appropriate.

"I'm willing to give that a shot, if that's more appropriate."

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That information was irrelevant at the time.

"That information was irrelevant at the time."

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like when a stewardess has to land a plane.

"like when a stewardess has to land a plane."

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I'm not a stewardess.

"I'm not a stewardess."

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All right. Look, Mr. James,

"All right. Look, Mr. James,"

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Good afternoon. You know, my friend and I have been

"Good afternoon. You know, my friend and I have been"

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I have no idea what that means either.

"I have no idea what that means either."

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and we're terribly sorry for any inconvenience.

"and we're terribly sorry for any inconvenience."

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I don't think you realize to whom you're speaking.

"I don't think you realize to whom you're speaking."

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No, but there's really nothing I can do

"No, but there's really nothing I can do"

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Anything you can do about that?

"Anything you can do about that?"

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Sorry, again,

"Sorry, again,"

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You nearly reduced that ticket-counter guy to tears.

"You nearly reduced that ticket-counter guy to tears."

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Really? What's next?

"Really? What's next?"

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You gonna kneecap an old woman

"You gonna kneecap an old woman"

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for her cocktail peanuts?

"for her cocktail peanuts?"

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No. To the higher-ups.

"No. To the higher-ups."

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Oh, great, now the Trilateral Commission's

"Oh, great, now the Trilateral Commission's"

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Boy, did that suck.

"Boy, did that suck."

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Knock yourselves out.

"Knock yourselves out."

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I want you to get out of here, you lovebirds.

"I want you to get out of here, you lovebirds."

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Well, that certainly clears things up for us.

"Well, that certainly clears things up for us."

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You have fun, now.

"You have fun, now."

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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what book you're gonna read?

"what book you're gonna read?"

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This bed is probably very...

"This bed is probably very..."

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Yeah, somehow I doubt that's its primary purpose.

"Yeah, somehow I doubt that's its primary purpose."

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What else could this bed be used for?

"What else could this bed be used for?"

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Beth. [SIGHS]

"Beth. [SIGHS]"

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What?

"What?"

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Dave would never ask me to back him up.

"Dave would never ask me to back him up."

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No.

"No."

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Dave would never ask me if this is some kind of weird test.

"Dave would never ask me if this is some kind of weird test."

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Dave wouldn't say that.

"Dave wouldn't say that."

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Take these back and fry them please.

"Take these back and fry them please."

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What is it about a friendly face

"What is it about a friendly face"

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I'm just cautious.

"I'm just cautious."

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"Only a hillbilly sits around figuring out

""Only a hillbilly sits around figuring out"

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the best way to catch flies"?

"the best way to catch flies"?"

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Look, just as a concession to me,

"Look, just as a concession to me,"

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and this strange land in which you find yourself,

"and this strange land in which you find yourself,"

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I like it. What a diabolical little plan.

"I like it. What a diabolical little plan."

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Can you do me just one more favor?

"Can you do me just one more favor?"

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Well, you deserve it, sir.

"Well, you deserve it, sir."

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Coming right up.

"Coming right up."

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All right, Hugh, let's go.

"All right, Hugh, let's go."

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Don't even think about it.

"Don't even think about it."

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Look at this.

"Look at this."

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[REMOTE BEEPS, SOUL MUSIC PLAYS]

"[REMOTE BEEPS, SOUL MUSIC PLAYS]"

NewsRadio

Let's not and say we did.

"Let's not and say we did."

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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I would be honored to dance

"I would be honored to dance"

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with the most beautiful princess

"with the most beautiful princess"

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in the whole ball.

"in the whole ball."

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The funny fountain in the bathroom.

"The funny fountain in the bathroom."

NewsRadio

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