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Clips from American Housewife - The Playdate (S01E01)

"♪"
American Housewife
"No, I'm researching a historical dish to drop off"
American Housewife
"with my application for the Westport Historical Guild."
American Housewife
"I'm aware the stakes are high."
American Housewife
"But you have to dress for the life you want,"
American Housewife
"Is something wrong?"
American Housewife
"We're paying for them by buying all this other stuff."
American Housewife
"Let's just agree that it's sampling and call it a day."
American Housewife
"Oh, onions."
American Housewife
"Well, Penny, depends on where you live."
American Housewife
"She's right over there."
American Housewife
"Chloe Brown Mueller."
American Housewife
"Both: She's Chloe Brown Mueller."
American Housewife
"She has thousands of Instagram followers,"
American Housewife
"How do you not know and despise Chloe Brown Mueller already?"
American Housewife
"She texted everyone about my divorce"
American Housewife
"That's on her."
American Housewife
"Ugh!"
American Housewife
"I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity"
American Housewife
"I even tore some stuff with my teeth."
American Housewife
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh, totally."
American Housewife
"Hang on one sec."
American Housewife
"You're not going to find anything."
American Housewife
"I was all confused."
American Housewife
"Stay the hell away from the minivan."
American Housewife
"But Anna-Kat has a playdate at the house"
American Housewife
"Yeah, girl."
American Housewife
"And you ruined it."
American Housewife
"- I did it! - Great job, Greg."
American Housewife
"Actually, I sustained some burns that aren't visible,"
American Housewife
"Can I get you to taste one and tell me what you think?"
American Housewife
"[Exhales sharply]"
American Housewife
"- Come on, Anna-Kat. - Oh, God."
American Housewife
"And don't use any of the words Mama screams"
American Housewife
"Roberta."
American Housewife
"I'm so glad you and Penny"
American Housewife
"- [Giggles] - Come on, I'll show you to her room."
American Housewife
"Did we just take a picture together?"
American Housewife
"Your daughter is adorable."
American Housewife
"So much better than the last girl Penny brought over."
American Housewife
"I'll be back in two to pick up Anna-Kat."
American Housewife
"All right, I'm just gonna say it true."
American Housewife
"What does that mean in this context?"
American Housewife
"What the hell is that?"
American Housewife
"How did this happen?"
American Housewife
"Do you think Anna-Kat stealing is related to her OCD?"
American Housewife
"No, I think it's just regular bad-kid behavior."
American Housewife
"Whose candlestick is this?"
American Housewife
"- Yep. - Are you really sure?"
American Housewife
"You stole this from Penny's house, didn't you?"
American Housewife
"And are you sorry?"
American Housewife
"Did you hear her voice?"
American Housewife
"And those eyes... I don't think she blinked the entire time."
American Housewife
"is obviously an Ocean's Eleven-style con."
American Housewife
"no harm, no foul."
American Housewife
"- Well, then what do you suggest? - I say we take the high road."
American Housewife
"We go to Chloe's house and tell the truth."
American Housewife
"And Anna-Kat will not only be the weird kid,"
American Housewife
"- [Thud, crack] - Ha!"
American Housewife
"Fine."
American Housewife
"You've won almost three fights in our marriage now."
American Housewife
"Yep, 3:00 works."
American Housewife
"Mystery solved."
American Housewife
"[Conversing in Spanish]"
American Housewife
"Sorry to pop by like this, but my husband and I"
American Housewife
"Hey, guys, I'm back."
American Housewife
"[Chuckles]"
American Housewife
"Hello. Hey. It's the pie guy."
American Housewife
"You see, Anna-Kat and Penny had a playdate."
American Housewife
"She just had the best time ever."
American Housewife
"If we tell the truth, I'm never getting in."
American Housewife
"We got to get them out of the room."
American Housewife
"I don't mean to impose,"
American Housewife
"but do you have anything to drink?"
American Housewife
"What do we do now?"
American Housewife
"Greg's colonial onion pie."
American Housewife
"We should all have a slice."
American Housewife
"Ta-da!"
American Housewife
"Ohh!"
American Housewife
"- what I was going for. - You see? The low road works."
American Housewife
"and Anna-Kat's reputation is safe."
American Housewife
"was missing and suspected Roberta."
American Housewife
"Plus, the real headline here is you got an innocent woman fired."
American Housewife
"everyone walk away a winner."
American Housewife
"Who are you?"
American Housewife
"Oliver's dating an old Mexican lady."
American Housewife
"like you guys do at movie night?"
American Housewife
"I'll tell you everything."
American Housewife
"There was nothing wrong with that shirt."
American Housewife
"I was going to throw it away"
American Housewife
"And ever since then, Luz and I have been business partners."
American Housewife
"fix them, and sell them to kids in Norwalk for a profit."
American Housewife
"That's how I knew Roberta got fired."
American Housewife
"Your housekeeper didn't steal the candlestick."
American Housewife
"Anna-Kat did."
American Housewife
"and start texting all of Westport"
American Housewife
"that my daughter's a thief."
American Housewife
"Let's make a deal."
American Housewife
"- [Gasps] - Oh, yeah."
American Housewife
"- Wigglé. - For God sakes,"
American Housewife
"It was the pie that put me over the top."
American Housewife
"I'm out of secrets."
American Housewife
"Don't touch me. It's all right, darling."
American Housewife
"[Clears throat]"
American Housewife
"Why would you do that?!"
American Housewife
"Everything?"
American Housewife
"Greg, you're cooking."
American Housewife
"Don't do something nice for me"
American Housewife
"Colonial onion pie?"
American Housewife
"It's an homage to Westport's past"
American Housewife
"as a leading onion producer in America."
American Housewife
"I think it'll help my application stand out from the crowd."
American Housewife
"Crowd? What crowd?"
American Housewife
"It's eight guys talking about preserving dirt roads."
American Housewife
"You don't need to make me any more nervous than I already am."
American Housewife
"Okay."
American Housewife
"My apologies for being late."
American Housewife
"not the life you have."
American Housewife
"Where did you get the money to buy"
American Housewife
"that ridiculously expensive shirt?"
American Housewife
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