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Clips from The Office - The Convict (S03E03)

"Wow. Prison sounds horrible."
The Office
"Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you, Andy. Thanks."
The Office
"Prison Mike,"
The Office
"(SCREAMING) The worst thing about prison was the Dementors."
The Office
"and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!"
The Office
"Dementors like in Harry Potter?"
The Office
"There are no movies in prison."
The Office
"This place is freaking awesome! The people are awesome."
The Office
"Your boss is nice. Everybody seems to get along."
The Office
"People are tolerant."
The Office
"People who would jump to conclusions can redeem themselves."
The Office
"Nobody is nobody's bitch."
The Office
"I hope that this scared you, and from me, Prison Mike to you,"
The Office
"I just wanna thank you for listening to me and letting me be a part of your life today."
The Office
"So what do you think? It doesn't sound so great, does it?"
The Office
"Wow. Thank you."
The Office
"That must have been hard for you to relive that. Both of you."
The Office
"Yeah, that wasn't really at all my experience."
The Office
"There's certain elements of what you performed"
The Office
"I've seen on television,"
The Office
"but it didn't remind me of my time in prison."
The Office
"Okay. Okay, fine."
The Office
"You guys think prison is so great. All right."
The Office
"No! If you think prison is so wonderful, then enjoy prison."
The Office
"And if this doesn't bother them, then I am out of ideas."
The Office
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
The Office
"KEVIN: Hey, let us out of here."
The Office
"(PHONE RINGING)"
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"Hey, Pam."
The Office
"Where're you calling from?"
The Office
"Michael, why is everyone locked in the conference room?"
The Office
"They were very disrespectful to me and to the office"
The Office
"and Martin has had a bad influence."
The Office
"To think that I gave him the benefit of the doubt. It's..."
The Office
"Well, you're gonna have to let them out, or I will, okay?"
The Office
"You know what, Toby? I am teaching them a lesson, so..."
The Office
"You know they're teasing you."
The Office
"I mean, obviously this is a much nicer place than an actual prison."
The Office
"They're teasing you to be funny."
The Office
"Okay, nutcases, get out of there."
The Office
"Good work. Long day. Really long. Why don't you guys head home early."
The Office
"Time off for good behavior!"
The Office
"Good job. Enjoy your freedoms."
The Office
"Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford"
The Office
"to the convict, to my friend, back to a convict,"
The Office
"then to kind of a nuisance, actually, if we could be completely honest,"
The Office
"and finally, to a quitter. And I will not miss him."
The Office
"And that is not because he is black."
The Office
"(SINGING IN FALSETTO) So we've been told and some choose to believe it"
The Office
"But I know they're wrong wait and see"
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"'Cause one day we'll find it"
The Office
"The lovers, the dreamers and me!"
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"He."
The Office
"(LAUGHING)"
The Office
"I don't know. Just not yet."
The Office
"Who is it?"
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"ANGELA: Andy?"
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"Why would anyone go to jail for that?"
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"So what we need to do is to forget"
The Office
"(PHONE RINGING)"
The Office
"Next. How about..."
The Office
"Who? Justin Timberlake?"
The Office
"Nothing special. Baseball cap on backward, baggy pants."
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"but, you know, I really only slept there, you know?"
The Office
"Baby. Hello, baby."
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"You like that?"
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"Michael, it's freezing out."
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"I'm not going for bulk, I'm going for tone."
The Office
"(SNIGGERING)"
The Office
"Somebody else who has been to prison,"
The Office
"Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, biatch?"
The Office
"This is Toby."
The Office
"And we have parties here."
The Office
"who went to prison for polluting a black guy's lake."
The Office
"Angela?"
The Office
"Lead off with that. Okay..."
The Office
"corporate maligning, slurring, much of it coming from one of you,"
The Office
"All right. Yay, yay, yay, yay. That's just the way we talk in the clink."
The Office
"what's the very, very worst thing about prison?"
The Office
"Are we gonna... They are such babies."
The Office
"a piece of paper of some sort. Receipt. I don't know."
The Office
"But can you sing in a sexy, high falsetto voice?"
The Office
"This place is not prison. This place... It's way better than prison."
The Office
"MICHAEL: These people don't realize how lucky they are."
The Office
"We are going to start with an hour of outdoor time. So let's go!"
The Office
"She is dating Ryan, I think."
The Office
"at the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace."
The Office
"Okay, fine. Okay."
The Office
"Okay, now slowly open your eyes again."
The Office
"Getting settled. Ah, good, good. Good."
The Office
"Wow. I..."
The Office
"or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals."
The Office
"on how to get them to go out with him."
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"until they can appreciate what it's like to have freedom."
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"Well, here you go."
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"(HUMMING A LULLABY)"
The Office
"Oh, you are such a racist."
The Office
"Good."
The Office
"I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because"
The Office
"Think about it."
The Office
"I can't feel my toes."
The Office
"who can tell you what it is really like."
The Office