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Clips from The Office - The Convict (S03E03)

"Oh, sorry. He's... He's dressed all in pink."
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"Thank you."
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"Hey, look at me! I'm a baby."
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"I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking."
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"(MICHAEL LAUGHING)"
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"Hey."
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"Almost done?"
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"Just about. Yeah."
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"Now."
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"and no one knows what that means."
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"I'm just kidding."
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"Hannah?"
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"Michael?"
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"like a white guy"
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"and he intervened."
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"As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit,"
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"Okay, I can't help you with that."
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"Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna."
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"Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly."
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"She seems pretty slutty, good for a romp in the sack."
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"She's high-maintenance."
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"Yeah, trust me. That would be fun for no one."
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"Jackpot."
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"Okay. Are you cool, really? I'm cool. I'm cool. I'm so cool."
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"I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office."
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"(WHISTLING)"
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"Oh, God!"
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"I know the things that she hates."
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"So one of the things that she likes is pranks and the things that she hates..."
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"Frisbee-based competitions."
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"I live to frolf."
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"(SINGING)"
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"Good."
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"Just a second."
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"He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle.""
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"Not terrible. Boring."
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"We do the same thing every day. But at least we get outdoors time."
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"What was your cell like? Not good."
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"Did they have business classes there?"
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"A lot of the guys also that were in the class, the inmates, a lot of them have gone on"
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"PAM: Yeah. RYAN: Prison sounds great."
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"No, you would not."
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"Listen, you're cute. There is no getting around it."
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"So, I don't know if you like country music, but I was thinking maybe one of these days"
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"(SPEAKING PIG LATIN) Ut-way ooh-day ooh-yay ink-thay, am-Pay?"
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"And I heard you loud and clear."
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"Actually, our TV was bigger than that one."
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"I thought of one last tack you could take with Pam."
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"Yep, that's perfect."
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"Maybe I'll get my banjo out of my car. Perfect."
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"I'm messing with Andy."
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"I love it. I want in. Who's the target?"
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"Oh, you know what? It was gonna be Pam... Perfect."
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"I feel like I already sicced him on Pam."
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"We'll give her a break. Let's think of someone else."
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"who claims that prison is better than here."
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"ALL: Whoa, whoa, whoa... Hey, pass..."
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"Oh, and you. You, my friend, would be the belle of the ball."
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"Where did you learn all of this? Internet."
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"and I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom."
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"That is quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike."
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"And I never got caught, neither."
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"(SOFTLY) Don't encourage him, Dwight."
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"They were flying all over the place and they were scary"
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"No, not Harry Potter."
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"This is my point. You guys got it soft and cushy."
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"'Cause you got a good life! You got a good life, a good life."
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"KEVIN: Okay, Michael, come on, let us out."
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"I am going to leave them in there"
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"Hey! I have... Shh."
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"We get paid to be here."
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"We go home afterwards and have social lives."
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"The ainbow-ray anection-cay"
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"Oh, she's absolutely adorable."
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"That's his favorite color."
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"Oh, that's fun for him. Fantastic."
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"Oh, wow, look at that. How cute."
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"Oh, may I? Oh, sure."
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"What am I thinking?"
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"Look at all those staplers. What's a stapler? I don't even know. I'm a baby."
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"Hey, Mom! I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I want some milk!"
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"And you know where milk comes from? Breasts."
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"Hey."
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"Yes, I have started to see Karen."
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"It's very new and... Not really ready to talk about it openly yet"
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"just because I think, once the word gets out there,"
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"it might affect the way people behave around us or..."
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"Yeah, Jan, it looks like a check,"
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"Jan, this is Angela Martin from Accounting."
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"We have a rebate from the Federal Work Opportunity Program"
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"JAN: We get that money for hiring an ex-convict."
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"I didn't hire an ex-convict, unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist."
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"When did the check come?"
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"Last week."
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"Okay, that's when the branches merged."
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"So Josh must have been taking advantage of this program. Smart move."
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"One of the Stamford people is a criminal?"
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"Hey, Jan, speaking of Stamford, Hannah brought in her baby."
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"Jan, which one of the new employees is a criminal?"
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"A reformed convict, and I'm not sure"
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"so hang on, let me e-mail our H.R. Stay on the line."
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"Andy?"
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"Martin?"
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"Wait, why am I a racist?"
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"Because you think he's black."
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"He is black, right, and..."
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"He was the last one... Stop it, stop it right..."
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"Just stop it right now!"
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"Okay, it's someone named Martin Nash. Yeah!"
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"Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype."
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"I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice,"
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"I wonder what he did."
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"In our society a black man can be arrested for almost anything."
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"He was probably at a sporting event and saw some people pushing each other"
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"about this whole Martin-in-prison thing."
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"People will draw unfair conclusions about Martin andlor black people."
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"Cool. Okay."
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"Sure."
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"Let's protect the convicts"
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"rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally, I agree with that."
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