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Clips from Workaholics - In the Line of Getting Fired (S01E01)

"- Hey. Bruce Benson."
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"- Oh, you know what? It's yours."
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"- Oh, thank you, sir! - Wait."
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"You can't have it,"
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"not without the shirt too."
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"- What a cool-ass boss."
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"- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hey, hey."
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"- Where are you going? - Our phone is runni-"
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"- I got to go... work out or something right now."
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"- Well, whatever. He wants to meet everybody."
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"So just smile and try to act normal."
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"Hey"
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"- Oh, my God. - Mm."
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"- Mr. Benson, good to re-meet you,"
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"'cause we met each other earlier."
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"Do you remember? - I do remember."
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"- We were worried. We were worried about that."
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"- Yeah, what are we talking about?"
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"- We accidentally hit this guy with our car this morning,"
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"so we're just-"
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"- Our bad. - It's not funny."
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"These three psychopaths almost killed me."
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"Lunch, Maxwell's."
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"- What a cool-ass boss."
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"- Hey, how's your food?"
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"- Mm, looking good. - Finish chewing."
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"- Nice blazer. Whoa."
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"- Let's just cut to the chase. - Wait."
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"Before you say anything,"
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"just want to let you know we know we got off"
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"to a rocky start this morning."
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"- Mm-hmm."
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"- But it is so natural"
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"for people to hit people in cars."
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"- Yes, it's truly-it's just something that happens"
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"if you-if you live in the world."
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"So you do."
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"- Just saying you're making a mistake here."
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"- Job is fun, but..."
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"- You're firing us... - Pretty good employees..."
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"I cannot go back to working at Hot Topic,"
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"because they said I have to cut my hair,"
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"and I could've swore their thing was punk rock."
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"- Hew Shh."
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"I'm not gonna fire you."
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"Okay."
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"Great. - Oh, my gosh!"
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"I thought for sure he was gonna fire us."
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"Wow."
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"- I want to pay you $10,000 to kill me."
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"- What? - Huh?"
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"- That's real?"
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"- So I'm just gonna leave this here."
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"You guys talk it over."
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"I'll be out back, waiting..."
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"to die, hopefully."
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"- Okay, this guy's insane, right?"
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"- I mean, I don't know. Like, suicide, right?"
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"Like, if your mother was on her deathbed"
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"and she asked you to kill her,"
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"you wouldn't just take the pillow, and..."
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"smother her to heaven?"
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"- Adam, this guy's not dying, okay?"
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"He had a bad day at the office."
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"There's a difference. - Who knows?"
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"- No, wait. I am not done with that."
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"There are some calamari... - Sorry, it's really good."
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"- Okay, I don't think that I need to say this,"
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"so we're not going to kill this person, right?"
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"- Um. - Are you serious, Adam?"
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"- No. I'm not really serio-"
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"I don't want to kill the dude, but, like..."
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"we should talk about it a little bit, right?"
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"10,000 bucks?"
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"That's enough to get us our own hot air balloon"
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"or Jet Skis, or, like, just a cool riding lawn mower"
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"for the-you know, whatever."
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"- What are you- you're doing that right now?"
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"- Yes, it's a bathroom."
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"You're the weird one for not pissing."
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"- Actually, that's not a bad idea, Adam."
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"I do have to tink."
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"Oh, look, they got a sports section."
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"- Oh, I want sports. I got travel."
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"Pinch and switch. - Okay."
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"- ORGY-"
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"- You guys, there's someone out there"
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"that asked us to murder them."
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"Are you ready to kill someone dead?"
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"- Yeah, American soldiers kill people, like, every day."
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"Are you better than American soldiers, man?"
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"Like, think about other people."
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"- Oh, that's airtight logic."
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"This is about cash money as well."
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"- Stop pointing it at me! - 10,000 little cash monies."
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"I mean, really, if you wanted, like, 10 Gs,"
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"couldn't you just blow 11 dudes at 9 hundo a pop?"
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"- Okay, I said 9,000-"
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"- Oh, man! It's a gun!"
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"Oh!"
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"- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"
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"- ♪ He's insane ♪"
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"- Hey, what's the beef, chief?"
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"- All right, boys. Are you ready to do this?"
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"I know just the place to drop my body"
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"or my head, at least."
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"- Stop. Why do you want us to kill you?"
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"- Wow, I'm kind of the furthest thing from a psychopath."
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"but you won't kill a stranger for 10 grand?"
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"- Okay, I said 9,000, okay'? You want to go right now, dude?"
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"- Stop it. Okay, clearly he is a psychopath."
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"- Don't you get it? I'm spineless."
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"I've mismanaged this company into the ground,"
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"and I have to tell the investors tomorrow,"
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"and I can't do it."
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"H-hell, I tried to jump"
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"in front of your car this morning,"
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"but at the last minute, I bailed."
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"I couldn't even do that."
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"- Car dodging? That's cool."
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