Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Wellness Center (S03E03)

"Oh, shit. Um, yeah-- Oh. No, my darling."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I wouldn't be man enough?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Hmm. [hisses softly]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"O-Oh. Uh..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I-I would love to help you out,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"but I, too, fear I'm not, uh, man eno-- whatever."
What We Do in the Shadows
"No, that's right. You are very shit-stupid man,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"so you can't do it."
What We Do in the Shadows
"How about you, Nandor? Bill collection?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Okay, fine. I'll do it."
What We Do in the Shadows
"There you go. Yes!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"It's a very special job,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- and we need the most... - I said I'll do it!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Give me that. Fuck!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- Do you want me to come with you? - No!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[groans]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[mutters]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Ah."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Oh, great."
What We Do in the Shadows
"They have wellness vampires now."
What We Do in the Shadows
"[groaning softly]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[muffled music playing in distance]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Um..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"You don't happen to know where I could find"
What We Do in the Shadows
"someone called Jan, do you?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Thanks very much."
What We Do in the Shadows
"The fuck is that?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[chuckles]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- Come on, then. -[Jan shouting]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"JAN: Stretch those out. That's what I want to see, yes!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Stretch those hammies, feel the burn! Yes!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- NANDOR: Um... - Oh, welcome."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Sorry, I am just here for..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Jan?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Please join us, bring your cameras."
What We Do in the Shadows
"- No secrets here. - Uh, no."
What We Do in the Shadows
"- I am just here for your debt collection. - Take a seat."
What We Do in the Shadows
"So..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"What do we love?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"GROUP: To sweat."
What We Do in the Shadows
"JAN [singsongy]: And how do we sweat?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"GROUP: By dancing."
What We Do in the Shadows
"And what do we say to newcomers?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"GROUP: Welcome. You must stretch before you dance."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Uh, like I said, as I was standing over there,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I am only here to, uh, collect a debt"
What We Do in the Shadows
"for Vampire Council dues you haven't paid in 132 years."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Oh, you must be mistaken."
What We Do in the Shadows
"No vampires here, pal."
What We Do in the Shadows
"[laughter]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"-[laughter stops] - But, you are Jan, yes?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Yes, but I am no longer a vampire."
What We Do in the Shadows
"That's... Wow."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Eesh. You have all pulled your own fangs out."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Very disturbing, uh, but it does not negate the fact"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- that, uh, you owe a great sum. - No sum to be paid, friend,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"for we are no longer vampires."
What We Do in the Shadows
"We have become humans again."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Mm-hmm."
What We Do in the Shadows
"How is such a thing even possible?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[chuckles]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[muffled music playing in distance]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Welcome. Come on in, have a seat."
What We Do in the Shadows
"[Jan grunts]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Uh, no, thank you."
What We Do in the Shadows
"As you know, being a vampire, I cannot eat or drink."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Poor you."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Ah..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"How long have you been caught up in this whole vampire trip?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I have been a vampire for over 700 years,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- if that's what you're asking. - Yes, but-- one second."
What We Do in the Shadows
"No, no, no, no, no, you need to select"
What We Do in the Shadows
"the Epson 4750 in the print queue window."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Not the Bonjour printing."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I am so sorry. One second."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Ah... Tell me."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Are you happy being a vampire?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- I've had better days. - What if I were to tell you"
What We Do in the Shadows
"that there's another way?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"A way that you can walk into the sun."
What We Do in the Shadows
"A way that you can become human again."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I'd say you were full of shit."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Eh... Well, perhaps this path isn't for you."
What We Do in the Shadows
"This is a difficult and treacherous path,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"but the rewards..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"the rewards are unspeakably..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"delicious."
What We Do in the Shadows
"♪"
What We Do in the Shadows
"NANDOR: So, after short deliberation..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Yes."
What We Do in the Shadows
"...I have decided to join Jan and her community:"
What We Do in the Shadows
"the Formerly Fanged."
What We Do in the Shadows
"The brochure is very persuasive."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I am skeptical by nature, but this Jan,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"she's really speaking to me, you know?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"She also is incredibly beautiful and has a rocking body."
What We Do in the Shadows
"NADJA: So, you're renouncing your vampirism"
What We Do in the Shadows
"to go and try living as a human?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- Yes. What part of that is not clear? -[Nadja scoffs]"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Well, how about the whole thing?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"You can't just pretend to be a human, you knoblord."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Pretending to be human is just the first step."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Well, what is the second step?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I'm not clear on all the steps yet."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Why are you dressed like a Playmobil figurine?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Because this is how I used to dress when I was a human."
What We Do in the Shadows
"NADJA: This is all very stupid."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Not to mention that we are the leaders of the Vampiric Council!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"We're going to be a laughingstock when they find out"
What We Do in the Shadows
"you've gone crying off to go and play human dress-up."
What We Do in the Shadows
"- Right? - I mean, I personally wouldn't laugh,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"but there are those who would."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"because you'll never see me again."
What We Do in the Shadows
"-[chains rattling] - Give me that."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Give me that!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Have a great, unenlightened eternity."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Farewell!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Auf Wiedersehen!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Good night, Seattle, and good mental health!"
What We Do in the Shadows
Show more clips