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Clips from Superstore - Color Wars (S01E01)

"Shh. It's gonna be okay."
Superstore
"- What happened? - Jeremy died this morning."
Superstore
"but no one would cover my shift."
Superstore
"What do we win?"
Superstore
"All right, now, when you check out,"
Superstore
"I do not care."
Superstore
"Oh, okay."
Superstore
"$100."
Superstore
"I've been saving up for one of those 3D ultrasounds..."
Superstore
"I just turned my head, and my eyeballs went with it."
Superstore
"Lates."
Superstore
"Obviously, don't have sex with any of the customers,"
Superstore
"the less impossible it might be that he could have sex with you,"
Superstore
"If you'd prefer to work with someone"
Superstore
"'cause knowledge is worth 100 bucks."
Superstore
"You're hitting things, eating candy, taking turns."
Superstore
"I already agreed to cut the fat clown, remember?"
Superstore
"but it comes with a built-in bean hopper."
Superstore
"Jonah, so the Red Team knows about the money now,"
Superstore
"Well, that's selfish."
Superstore
"Not the items on the shelf... He sold an actual shelf."
Superstore
"Okay, look..."
Superstore
"but some of us could really use it."
Superstore
"That's what I said."
Superstore
"And then in blue icing, have it say, "Congratulations.""
Superstore
""No, not 'Congratulations. Got that?'"
Superstore
"- What do I do here? - He doesn't know English."
Superstore
"That's why, if it was up to me, I'd fire half the staff."
Superstore
"Need some help with the grill?"
Superstore
"Uh, no, no, no, no. I'm just browsing."
Superstore
"She's a beaut, huh?"
Superstore
"I use mine all the time."
Superstore
"- Yes, exactly. That's good. - Yeah. Yeah."
Superstore
"I should use that in one of my videos."
Superstore
"Hold on. Come on."
Superstore
"Let's not bring a lady into this, right?"
Superstore
"Oh, I'm really busy right now. Can it wait?"
Superstore
"to get you a new Xbox."
Superstore
"The RX 5 got five spokes on RoadPro,"
Superstore
"- Mm, okay. - What's that mean?"
Superstore
"Hell, yeah!"
Superstore
"I just said, "You can quit if you want","
Superstore
"So call an Uber. Exactly."
Superstore
"but she can't make it a couple of miles across town?"
Superstore
"- Oh. - Yeah."
Superstore
"Thanks. Thanks."
Superstore
"No, and you know what?"
Superstore
"- Yes to that? - I'm gonna do it."
Superstore
"Why should she get time off?"
Superstore
"but I was this close to making a $1,000 sale,"
Superstore
"- Oh, my God. - And every time"
Superstore
"I felt bad for the guy, I just thought,"
Superstore
"Yes! Oh, my God, I love you so much right now."
Superstore
""I wish I would've bought a Vitamix""
Superstore
"Could save your life, man."
Superstore
"How exactly did a non Vitamix blender put you in a coma?"
Superstore
"- Hey. - Hey."
Superstore
"what if part of the lightning in the bottle"
Superstore
"was actually the old-school grill, right?"
Superstore
"Well, what percentage are we talking?"
Superstore
"Ah, you... whatever you think is fair."
Superstore
"No, no, no, no. I don't think so."
Superstore
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait."
Superstore
"- Adam? - That happens."
Superstore
"This is not Adam's fault. This is my fault."
Superstore
"Jonah, stay out of this."
Superstore
"I wouldn't use the word "invested.""
Superstore
"- That is still aging. - It smells."
Superstore
"Yeah? Jonah says I have potential."
Superstore
"Crock-Pots?"
Superstore
"- Yeah. - Mm-hmm."
Superstore
"No, he went home."
Superstore
"Hey, uh, I'm really sorry about..."
Superstore
"It's not your fault."
Superstore
"So how'd you guys meet?"
Superstore
""You hired him."
Superstore
"No, don't put that on the cake. Glenn, make him stop. See?"
Superstore
"No."
Superstore
"Jeremy died?"
Superstore
"Jer... the tall guy? He was so young."
Superstore
"Oh, I called it. You can't be that tall and live."
Superstore
"No."
Superstore
"Not stupid, tall Jeremy."
Superstore
"I wish he'd die."
Superstore
"My bird Jeremy."
Superstore
"One day he was alive, and then the next..."
Superstore
"I had him since he was a little..."
Superstore
"Bird? Little bird?"
Superstore
"I'm sure he's in a better place."
Superstore
"Right, Mateo?"
Superstore
"Yeah, I bet he's in bird heaven."
Superstore
"You think so? But he was so violent."
Superstore
"Damn, man, I tried to get it off,"
Superstore
"I would've stayed home, but Emma needs braces"
Superstore
"and they just cut back on Adam's hours at work,"
Superstore
"so I need the money."
Superstore
"Hey, maybe it won't be so bad. Just got to let it happen."
Superstore
"What's going on? What's today?"
Superstore
"- Oh, you don't know. - K-know what?"
Superstore
"Know this."
Superstore
"Hmm."
Superstore
"Oh, thought I heard the music. Guess I timed it wrong."
Superstore
"It's Color Wars!"
Superstore
"Whoo."
Superstore
"What's Color Wars?"
Superstore
"Two teams... one gold, one red..."
Superstore
"And whoever sells the most by the end of the day wins."
Superstore
"Please, I'm not in the mood."
Superstore
"Oh, this year the winning team gets..."
Superstore
"A pizza party."
Superstore
"Sometimes I just want to get in my car"
Superstore
"and drive and drive, drive."
Superstore
"Buckle your seat belt,"
Superstore
"because you are about to experience Cloud 9"
Superstore
"as you have never experienced it before."
Superstore
"Hey, Dina, what you doing over here in the bleachers?"
Superstore
"It's Color Wars."
Superstore
"Do birds go to Heaven?"
Superstore
"No, they don't have souls."
Superstore
"They just become dirt."
Superstore
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