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Clips from Ted Lasso - Make Rebecca Great Again (S01E01)

"Oh, no. I wouldn't-- No, I don't--"
Ted Lasso
"Hey. I'm just asking for your opinion. You understand that, yeah?"
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah. -And you got one, yes?"
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah. -Locked, loaded, ready to rip?"
Ted Lasso
"Mm-hmm."
Ted Lasso
"-Let me hear it. -No."
Ted Lasso
"Why not? What are you afraid's gonna happen if you tell me?"
Ted Lasso
"That you won't like my idea and it makes you hate me."
Ted Lasso
"Then you fire me."
Ted Lasso
"Then I have to move back in with my parents and they'll be ashamed of me."
Ted Lasso
"Then everyone finds out back home and laughs at me until my face melts off."
Ted Lasso
"Excuse me."
Ted Lasso
"Mm."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, do me a favor. Keep an eye on these guys,"
Ted Lasso
"'cause around the 74 minute mark, there's gonna be a room full of grown men crying."
Ted Lasso
"Right, so I hadn't prepared anything."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, she was the star of the weekend."
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah, I gave Elton John a boner. -You did what?"
Ted Lasso
"-No, you didn't. -Yes, I did!"
Ted Lasso
"Ah. Classic "she said, she said," innit?"
Ted Lasso
"Would you ladies like another bottle? A little dessert perhaps?"
Ted Lasso
"My sexy and extremely single friend here"
Ted Lasso
"actually prefers her desserts on the larger side."
Ted Lasso
"I'll give you a few minutes."
Ted Lasso
"I can't believe you just did that."
Ted Lasso
"Oh, shut up. You love it."
Ted Lasso
"Right. I'm going for a smoke. Stinky?"
Ted Lasso
"And yet, you're still on fire."
Ted Lasso
"Hmm."
Ted Lasso
"May I suggest flushing it again but harder? Okay, bye."
Ted Lasso
"Hi, how can I help you?"
Ted Lasso
"Oh, okay. Um, that's a good question. If you bear with me a second,"
Ted Lasso
"A fax machine, hey? Are you sending something to the year 1997?"
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, just a little note to myself telling me to buy Apple stock."
Ted Lasso
"Oh. Good idea."
Ted Lasso
"Can you tell me to murder J.K. Rowling and write the first Harry Potter book as well?"
Ted Lasso
"Can do. Yeah. I'll probably write "handle" instead of "murder,""
Ted Lasso
"so there's no paper trail."
Ted Lasso
"Sassy, huh? Like the Smurf, right?"
Ted Lasso
"Don't think there was a Sassy Smurf, was there?"
Ted Lasso
"Seems like a Smurf with an attitude would've been a lot of fun to watch."
Ted Lasso
"All right, yeah, I'll tell him. Let me know how the trial goes. Okay, bye."
Ted Lasso
"Right, we no longer have a fax machine on the premises."
Ted Lasso
"But the concierge was able to locate one"
Ted Lasso
"at a tanning salon eight miles away in Croxteth."
Ted Lasso
"You know what, that's okay."
Ted Lasso
"I'm just gonna hit this manicurist nearby that has carrier pigeons."
Ted Lasso
"-Thank you though. All right. -Okay."
Ted Lasso
"Nice meeting you."
Ted Lasso
"Right, how can I help you?"
Ted Lasso
"Well, I was gonna go out for a smoke"
Ted Lasso
"and hope my friend picks up the check while I was gone."
Ted Lasso
"Then I saw Magnum, P.I. in line, figured I'd flirt with him as well."
Ted Lasso
"-See what happens, you know? -Oh, well, good luck."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, I think I fucked it."
Ted Lasso
"I-- I actually get off in about 30 minutes if you'd like to, uh--"
Ted Lasso
"Of course not, why would you?"
Ted Lasso
"You are who you choose to be."
Ted Lasso
"Superman."
Ted Lasso
"-Where's Stinky gone? She abandoned you? -No, she just went to pee."
Ted Lasso
"-Oh. -Where does "Stinky" come from?"
Ted Lasso
"I remember the day she moved into our town."
Ted Lasso
"She was already taller than me, had bigger boobs."
Ted Lasso
"Family was rich. So, first day of year seven,"
Ted Lasso
"I told everyone her nickname was "Stinky.""
Ted Lasso
"That's genius."
Ted Lasso
"To the ties that bind us."
Ted Lasso
"To Rebecca."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, that's not Rebecca."
Ted Lasso
"Strong, yeah, but not cold."
Ted Lasso
"Ah. Beautiful voice."
Ted Lasso
"Her and Nora would sing through the door for hours."
Ted Lasso
"Do you wanna build a snowman?"
Ted Lasso
"Oh, yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, if you like that woman, you are gonna love Rebecca."
Ted Lasso
"-Ready? -What about the bill?"
Ted Lasso
"-Thank you, Miss Welton. -Okay."
Ted Lasso
"Do you wanna do that thing where you pretend you wanted to pay?"
Ted Lasso
"Oh, yeah, yeah. This is really good fun. Join in."
Ted Lasso
"Oh, you absolute piece of shit! I was about to do that!"
Ted Lasso
"-I was just about to get my card out. -I can't believe that you've done this."
Ted Lasso
"-We were gonna split. That was so nice. -Six years I've waited for this..."
Ted Lasso
"-What the hell are you doing? -I'm-- I'm so sorry. I just--"
Ted Lasso
"You're what?"
Ted Lasso
"-What is this? -It's just my thoughts on the team."
Ted Lasso
"Go, Nathan. Come on, it's past curfew."
Ted Lasso
"-Go! Get outta here! -Sorry."
Ted Lasso
"Liverpool has much to offer when it comes to nightlife."
Ted Lasso
"From pubs and clubs, to the great Asian pastime of karaoke!"
Ted Lasso
"And if you're the artsy type, or you're just trying to impress a date,"
Ted Lasso
"Liverpool has more museums and galleries..."
Ted Lasso
"Welcome to Goodison Park. I'm Arlo White here with Chris Powell."
Ted Lasso
"-Okay, guys! Got some snacks here! -Whoo-hoo!"
Ted Lasso
"Let's try not to eat them all in the first half. Come on, Richmond!"
Ted Lasso
"The last time Richmond left here with a win,"
Ted Lasso
"And that's certainly the case for Ted Lasso's men tonight."
Ted Lasso
"-Nate, can I speak with you, please? -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"I wanted to apologize for last night. I bit your head off for no good reason,"
Ted Lasso
"and I'm really sorry about that and I hope you can forgive me."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, of cour-- Yes, of course."
Ted Lasso
"Thank you. Also, I read through your thoughts."
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah. -They're great."
Ted Lasso
"But I can't say this to them."
Ted Lasso
"-But they need to hear it. -I agree."
Ted Lasso
"That's why you're gonna do it."
Ted Lasso
"Are you drunk?"
Ted Lasso
"You're giving the pregame talk, and you're gonna read them this."
Ted Lasso
"-I ju-- I don't know. -It'll be fun."
Ted Lasso
"No. No, no, no."
Ted Lasso
"Oh, my God."
Ted Lasso
"All right, listen up, fellas."
Ted Lasso
"about you guys and today's game."
Ted Lasso
"So let's focus up."
Ted Lasso
"-All yours, Nate. -Okay."
Ted Lasso
"-Let's go, Nate. -Come on, boy. You got this."
Ted Lasso
"-You got this, Nate. It's okay. -Okay. Thank you. Let's do it."
Ted Lasso
"-Isaac. -Hmm?"
Ted Lasso
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got this, bruv, all right?"
Ted Lasso
"Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"I've noticed of late..."
Ted Lasso
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