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Clips from NewsRadio - Freaky Friday (S05E05)

"Ah, that's a great story, sir. Yeah. Thanks."
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"Damn, I'm rich, ain't I?"
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"Yeah."
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"David? Yes, Matthew?"
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"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I come back?"
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"No, no, it's fine."
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"Darn."
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"You don't understand."
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"This is like a medical emergency, okay?"
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"Oh, Matthew, come on, we're all stressed out."
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"All of us. We are. Believe me, we are."
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"You don't go to the zoo. That's what weekends are for."
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"Mr. James, no offense, you wouldn't understand."
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"Why not?"
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"To be frank, you spend your day in billionaire-land."
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"Getting steam baths and sitting on your ass,"
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"letting your ego be massaged by yes men."
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"Matthew. And I'm sorry."
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"It's okay. Just hold on for a second."
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"You honestly think that's all I do all day long?"
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"Well, let me think. Steam baths, ego, ass."
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"Matthew. Son, I mean, no offense,"
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"but my job is so much more stressful"
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"than you could even imagine."
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"If your job is so stressful, how come I never see you in here"
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"All right. Okay. You know what?"
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"All right, let's switch. What?"
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"Sir, that's a horrible idea."
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"No, it is not."
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"I want you to run my empire for a day."
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"And I will do whatever the hell it is you do."
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"What do you do around here?"
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"Um..."
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"Reporter."
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"Reporter. Reporter."
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"This is great, wow. Are you serious? Yeah."
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"And this is like that movie Freaky Friday."
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"Except you're the mom."
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"I'm the mom. And you're Jodie Foster."
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"Where is Max? I'll take it."
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""Your club membership is in serious arrears."
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"A club representative will be visiting you shortly.""
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"Oh, my God!"
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"There's tons of them here."
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"Mrs. Piccadilly Peanut."
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"Lena Maxina Von Pasadena."
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"Oh, my God. Ernestine Q. Picklefeather."
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"Lord and Lady Horsehide."
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"That was a good one."
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"to join the Record and Tape Club."
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"Oh, without having to buy eight more"
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"at the regular low Record Club price."
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"But now they have tracked me down. All of me."
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"Well, so what?"
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"Just send them a couple of hundred bucks in late fees."
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"Lisa, over the past five years, I've spent $3 in pennies."
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"Beth, that's over 5700--"
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"Mm, don't need a math lecture right now."
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"Psych."
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"[GARGLING]"
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"Thanks."
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"[SNIFFS]"
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"Max."
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"I know. I was just going in to turn the faucet off."
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"And where did you get that?"
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"But it was Beth. She's the criminal."
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"Go to work."
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"Oh, thanks, Dave."
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"Being a reporter's thirsty work."
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"Uh-huh. Now, sir, are you sure this is wise?"
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"Oh, sure. Of course I'm sure it is wise."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Okay. Well, how do you know these companies are merging?"
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"Uh, I told them to."
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"Sir, as a reporter,"
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"you're supposed to find stories, not make them."
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"Well, you don't like that one, how about this?"
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"Uh, let's see. Would it be a good story"
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"if there was a big explosion in a gas plant in Omaha"
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"Would that be a good story?"
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"No."
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"Oh. Then I gotta make a call."
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"All right."
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"You are going to pay that much"
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"Hello?"
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"If that's okay with you. [INTERCOM BUZZES]"
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"WOMAN [ON INTERCOM]: Mr. Garelli is here to see you."
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"Hold on, J.P."
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"Oh. Okay, good. Thank you, Laura."
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"Linda. Right, right."
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"Hey, do you want anything? No, I'm fine."
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"All right. Coffee, please."
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"Yeah. I'll take a virgin banana daiquiri."
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"Nice setup you got here, freak."
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"And confidentially, having Mr. James's job"
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"is not as fun as I thought. That's why I called you in."
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"I'm having computer problems. What kind?"
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"I can't turn it on."
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"Shh! I don't want Laura to know. Linda."
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"Whatever."
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"Here we go, gentlemen."
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"MATTHEW: Oh, okay. JOE: Thanks."
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"Excellent, honeybunch."
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"That'll be all."
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"Wow. She's quick with the drinks, huh?"
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"I can turn it on."
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"Good. That's what I-- You know, I want."
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"Because Mr. James has a lot of fun toys here."
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"But life can be pretty dull without a computer."
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"Huh? Oh, I'm just-- I'm one of the gang now."
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"You can call me Jimbo."
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"Okay."
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"What are you working on--"
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"Come on."
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"--Jimbo?"
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"Okay. Just a news story."
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"Just working on a little news story."
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"That looks suspiciously like a stock quote board to me, sir."
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"Yeah. Gonna do a little, ahem,"
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