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Clips from The Invention of Lying (2009)

"They're holding hands. They're in love."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I mean, just what do you see? What do you see in me?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You've got a wonderful smile."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-Well, that's what everyone sees. -I wasn't finished."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You're the most wonderful person I've ever met."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You're smart."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And you are fun to be with."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And you see the world in a way that nobody else sees the world,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You make me happier than anyone I've ever known."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-Why can't we be together, then? -Because of the whole genetics thing."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"JIM: I say fat loser, Bob."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"JIM: And what about the hundreds of people camping out on his lawn?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And then write, The duck flew all the way to Alaska to meet up"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Doesn't matter. Uh... The end."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And you want me to take this over to Lecture Films?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-Yeah. -ASSISTANT: Okay."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-What's that? -It's a birthday card for you."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-To you. Not to me. -Yes."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-But don't go out with him. -Why not?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Yes. Well, why..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Let him know what a wonderful person you are just by..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Oh, I... I want to date her... I want a second date."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Do not..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"What's this?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Birthday coupon for sex."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Yeah. Shitty little woollen ones, instead of sex."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-Mark. You look like trash. -Oh, your opinion."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-Not too much. -Hey! What are you doing with that?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Well, don't... I'm not happy for that. What..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Also, I think we're ready to order."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"She will have the small Caesar salad because I don't want her to get fat."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Of course not."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Okay, you're annoying me now."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Your voice is shrill. Good bye."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Mmm!"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You know, you are a near perfect match for me,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"But I can have the one thing that he can't."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Out of the way, fatty!"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Thanks."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"'cause I've got a big house and loads of money?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"you know, so you can't really beat that."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"So I'm just really happy that that's gonna happen."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"and my little apartment and just kind of hang out by myself and drink and watch TV."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Brilliant."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"INTERVIEWER: You call him on the phone, on a telephone?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And I'm saying back, I'll give him a chance..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"It would make no sense."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Someone like Brad Kessler."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Hi, Brad."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Mark: I miss you, Mum."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I know you're not up there in a mansion."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You're right here in the ground."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And I'm not happy."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"That's why I'll always be alone."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"(DOORBELL RINGS)"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Then why are you marrying him?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"have the children that I've always wanted."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You'll never be ugly."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Short Fat Brian."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Well, Brian."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Greg: Ow!"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"You haven't lost yet, man."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"We are here today, sitting in this building,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I do."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Oh, come on, Mark."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I mean, look at you. How can you possibly be better than me?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Because she's happy with me."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"If she were happy with you, what is she doing standing up here with me?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"(Chuckling)"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Why? Why does it have to be?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"No, I know, but I'm just..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Please, man, I..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And who says you'll make a better husband"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Anna."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"(Sighs)"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Why don't you just tell me what the man in the sky wants?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-I did a bad thing. -It's okay."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"But how did you say something that wasn't?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"But when I asked you if being rich"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"No one does. I'm still the only person who can tell a lie."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Actually, that's not entirely true."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"That looks good."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"-Your best yet. -I'm so glad you like it."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Just start on the bread, maybe, then work my way up there."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"(Tapping on MIC)"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Testing over the credits. The credits that no one cares about."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Ooh, we want our credit before the film starts, 'cause..."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"The story you're about to see takes place in a world"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"As you can see, people have jobs and cars and houses and families,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"People say exactly what they think,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Oh, your baby is so ugly. It's like a little rat."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"What are you ordering?"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Gervais: So if you're a chubby, little loser like this guy, for example,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"then you're all alone and at the bottom of the pile."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"But later on in the story, his luck's gonna change"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"when he tells the world's first lie."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"He doesn't even know it himself yet."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"So look forward to that."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"(Exhales)"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Don't blow this."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Also, equally depressed and pessimistic about our date tonight."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Sure."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I need to finish getting ready."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"While doing that, I might realise I'm still horny"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"and try to finish masturbating without you hearing."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I feel awkward now about being early."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"and not really looking forward to tonight in general,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"scares both my mother and me equally."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Sure."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Oh."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I'm thinking you've started masturbating, 'cause it's like it's too quiet."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"And you said you were gonna try and do it without me hearing."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I'm worried the restaurant I've picked isn't expensive enough for you."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"It's all I can afford"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"in my situation."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I know I'm in my 40s,"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"but I haven't got any financial assets to speak of."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Also, my boss said he's probably gonna fire me this week."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"Wow!"
The Invention of Lying (2009)
"I don't find you attractive."
The Invention of Lying (2009)
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