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Clips from Please Like Me - Truffled Mac and Cheese (S02E02)

when he was a kid when he had a cold.

"when he was a kid when he had a cold."

Please Like Me

Yeah, it's good for that. Not so good for sunburn.

"Yeah, it's good for that. Not so good for sunburn."

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Ouch.

"Ouch."

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I never told her when I got a urinary tract infection.

"I never told her when I got a urinary tract infection."

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What, no. I don't have any ink.

"What, no. I don't have any ink."

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Ink's so expensive. I genuinely can't afford

"Ink's so expensive. I genuinely can't afford"

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to print the document to get me a job

"to print the document to get me a job"

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so I can afford to do things like print documents.

"so I can afford to do things like print documents."

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He's always so annoyed.

"He's always so annoyed."

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I should be happy, right?

"I should be happy, right?"

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I mean, I did my resume.

"I mean, I did my resume."

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I don't know.

"I don't know."

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Yeah, I know.

"Yeah, I know."

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We've been talking it over. I am gonna help you out.

"We've been talking it over. I am gonna help you out."

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That is great news, okay,

"That is great news, okay,"

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because I've done my resume, okay?

"because I've done my resume, okay?"

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Thank you. No worries. You're welcome,

"Thank you. No worries. You're welcome,"

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I need money for ink, please, Dad, to love you.

"I need money for ink, please, Dad, to love you."

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No, just enough to buy ink to print my resume.

"No, just enough to buy ink to print my resume."

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No, no, no.

"No, no, no."

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Josh, I am gonna help you.

"Josh, I am gonna help you."

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Sorry, you know, I just don't want you going off

"Sorry, you know, I just don't want you going off"

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Okay, I understand.

"Okay, I understand."

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Although I have to say I do think it would be quite odd

"Although I have to say I do think it would be quite odd"

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Okay, bye.

"Okay, bye."

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"I believe I am the perfect candidate

""I believe I am the perfect candidate"

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for the advertised position of plus-size model."

"for the advertised position of plus-size model.""

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It's not funny. I'm sensitive about that.

"It's not funny. I'm sensitive about that."

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a refreshing change from the impossible standards

"a refreshing change from the impossible standards"

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"of mentally disabled people.

""of mentally disabled people."

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And then he's attached a picture of me

"And then he's attached a picture of me"

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as a voluptuous woman.

"as a voluptuous woman."

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Tom, that is a very detailed sketch.

"Tom, that is a very detailed sketch."

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I don't take advantage, okay?

"I don't take advantage, okay?"

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I'm nice, if anything,

"I'm nice, if anything,"

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He's a predator.

"He's a predator."

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- Did you just draw this? - Yes.

"- Did you just draw this? - Yes."

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Well, what else am I supposed to do in here?

"Well, what else am I supposed to do in here?"

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Well, I'm sorry, Tom.

"Well, I'm sorry, Tom."

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Claire, can you please turn off the internet?

"Claire, can you please turn off the internet?"

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No! It wasn't always gonna be you.

"No! It wasn't always gonna be you."

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It was gonna have a girl's head.

"It was gonna have a girl's head."

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I only added you just now.

"I only added you just now."

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Nice day for staring at the tree.

"Nice day for staring at the tree."

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Hi, Stuart.

"Hi, Stuart."

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Hi.

"Hi."

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Is Stuart's head on your thigh?

"Is Stuart's head on your thigh?"

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Yes.

"Yes."

Please Like Me

I'm gonna move inside and look at a plant.

"I'm gonna move inside and look at a plant."

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I'm hungry.

"I'm hungry."

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Would you like some macaroni and cheese?

"Would you like some macaroni and cheese?"

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Sorry, okay? I didn't know.

"Sorry, okay? I didn't know."

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Maybe I'll get a pizza. Me and Claire might get a pizza.

"Maybe I'll get a pizza. Me and Claire might get a pizza."

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- Do you want a pizza, Claire? - Yeah, I'd like a pizza.

"- Do you want a pizza, Claire? - Yeah, I'd like a pizza."

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Will I be allowed pizza?

"Will I be allowed pizza?"

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Can we get Mexican pizza?

"Can we get Mexican pizza?"

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No, Mexican pizzas are stupid.

"No, Mexican pizzas are stupid."

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That does not make sense.

"That does not make sense."

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I'd love Mexican pizza.

"I'd love Mexican pizza."

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Nobody likes you.

"Nobody likes you."

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Okay, Tom, you can have some pizza.

"Okay, Tom, you can have some pizza."

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But what you have to do is you have to order it,

"But what you have to do is you have to order it,"

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and when you order it, you have to ask

"and when you order it, you have to ask"

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you have to say "jalapenos."

"you have to say "jalapenos.""

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That's the stupidest middle-class stereotype ever heard.

"That's the stupidest middle-class stereotype ever heard."

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Yes, brilliant. It will not be an issue.

"Yes, brilliant. It will not be an issue."

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Can you get me a Hawaiian?

"Can you get me a Hawaiian?"

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Pizza, Pizzas.

"Pizza, Pizzas."

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Hi, I'd like to order two pizzas, please.

"Hi, I'd like to order two pizzas, please."

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Yes.

"Yes."

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Okay, pick up or delivery?

"Okay, pick up or delivery?"

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Thomas?

"Thomas?"

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Jalapenos.

"Jalapenos."

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Yeah. "Jalapenos."

"Yeah. "Jalapenos.""

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- Hey, Josh. - Hey, hello.

"- Hey, Josh. - Hey, hello."

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What's going on here?

"What's going on here?"

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Tom ate all my macaroni and cheese,

"Tom ate all my macaroni and cheese,"

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I thought you said you were working on your resume.

"I thought you said you were working on your resume."

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Yeah, I'm... I have worked on my resume.

"Yeah, I'm... I have worked on my resume."

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I finished it.

"I finished it."

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This is a drawing of you as a woman.

"This is a drawing of you as a woman."

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Tom did it.

"Tom did it."

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Very, very talented, Tom.

"Very, very talented, Tom."

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Thank you, Alan.

"Thank you, Alan."

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Josh, piz... pizza?

"Josh, piz... pizza?"

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Dad, what's the surprise?

"Dad, what's the surprise?"

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mate, I have solved all your problems.

"mate, I have solved all your problems."

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All of them? You had a busy day.

"All of them? You had a busy day."

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Well, obviously not all of them.

"Well, obviously not all of them."

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I got you a job.

"I got you a job."

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- No. - Negative, always negative.

"- No. - Negative, always negative."

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I bought you a coffee cart.

"I bought you a coffee cart."

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I bought you a coffee cart.

"I bought you a coffee cart."

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and you'll pay me a percentage of the profits

"and you'll pay me a percentage of the profits"

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What if there are no profits?

"What if there are no profits?"

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What happens if there's no profits?

"What happens if there's no profits?"

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Josh, do you know how much people charge

"Josh, do you know how much people charge"

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for a cup of coffee these days?

"for a cup of coffee these days?"

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Yeah, I think that this is actually good.

"Yeah, I think that this is actually good."

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- Well... - Like $35 an hour?

"- Well... - Like $35 an hour?"

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- Yeah. - Is that good?

"- Yeah. - Is that good?"

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- No, it's not good. - Well, it's more than

"- No, it's not good. - Well, it's more than"

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- your fat ass, mate. - Alan.

"- your fat ass, mate. - Alan."

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You're bringing my ass into this?

"You're bringing my ass into this?"

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Come on, Josh, just be grateful.

"Come on, Josh, just be grateful."

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and sell the adorable sweets on the cart?

"and sell the adorable sweets on the cart?"

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That's it, well done.

"That's it, well done."

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Sweetheart? We're off.

"Sweetheart? We're off."

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- See ya, Claire. - Bye-bye.

"- See ya, Claire. - Bye-bye."

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Bye, Alan.

"Bye, Alan."

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That's not her thing.

"That's not her thing."

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See you guys.

"See you guys."

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Fuck off, Tom.

"Fuck off, Tom."

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Yeah, and you're the worst.

"Yeah, and you're the worst."

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She's only ever dated two guys, right?

"She's only ever dated two guys, right?"

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Both of them were her best friends.

"Both of them were her best friends."

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is best friends with her other best friend.

"is best friends with her other best friend."

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Yeah... okay, well, then who's your best friend, Tom?

"Yeah... okay, well, then who's your best friend, Tom?"

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It's the best friend you have.

"It's the best friend you have."

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They don't have to be good.

"They don't have to be good."

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