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Clips from The Golden Girls - Flu Attack (S01E01)

"Oh, Blanche, I think you have a better chance"
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"of winning that award than I have."
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"I think you have a point there, Rose."
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"Why sure. You worked with the senior citizens,"
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"you put in time at the daycare center."
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"And you were the volunteer dummy for the firemen's CPR class."
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"And don't forget, that program was my idea, too."
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"O, maybe you're right, I might have a small chance."
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"After all, besides you, who else is there?"
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"(clears throat"
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"Dorothy, please, why don't you use your handkerchief?"
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"Doesn't anybody remember all the good work that I have done?"
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"Not really."
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"I was co-chairman of the committee to raise funds for the new blood mobile."
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"I sold 49 cases of peanut brittle!"
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"You really think selling candy's gonna qualify you for that prestigious award?"
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"Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize that slipping my tongue"
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"to half the firemen in the county was a more lofty social achievement."
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"I'm gonna go to that banquet. I'm gonna call my date."
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"Honey, if you can get a date the way you look, you deserve that award."
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"Why don't you call your date, too?"
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"I would just love to have you there so you can eat your heart out"
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"when I accept the award."
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"Oh, don't worry. I'm gonna be there."
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"Because I'll be the one accepting the award."
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"if you're both going, I'm going, too."
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"I have just as much chance of winning as you do."
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"You have done some good work, Dorothy."
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"But not enough people like you."
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"Sorry."
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"Ma, what do you think? Do I have a chance of winning?"
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"Absolutely. As long as they don't add a swimsuit competition."
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"Doesn't she have the most adorable little sneeze?"
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"It's OK, I didn't want my salad anyway."
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"- I'm sorry. - Sucret?"
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"Oh, no, thank you. I'm still sucking on a Smith Brothers."
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"Well, good evening, everybody."
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"Ladies, you're certainly looking... never mind."
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"Where's your date, Blanche?"
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"Oh, he'll be along. Never fear. In plenty of time to see me win"
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"the Best Friend of the Friends of Good Health Award."
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"Blanche, you must still be running a fever. You're hallucinating."
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"I am going to win that award."
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"Ha-ha-ha!"
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"I'm sorry we're late, but we couldn't find the table."
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"But then I recognized Dorothy's hacking."
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"- Everybody, this is Raoul. - It's a pleasure to be here."
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"Well, looks like we're all here."
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"Oh, there's my date now. Why, he must be lost."
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"I'll just go get him and bring him over."
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"Tell me, where are you from, Raoul?"
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"It's a pleasure to be here."
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"Ma, where did you meet him?"
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"He owns a flower shop next to the dog track."
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"I won big yesterday, so I figured I'd treat myself and rent him a tuxedo."
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"- You having fun, Raoul? - It's a pleasure to be here."
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"He kills me."
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"Everybody, I want you to meet my friend, Tommy Cochran."
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"Sit down, Tommy. Tommy's a writer."
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"According to the New York Times, he is the most exciting new novelist"
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"to come along since Mr. Norman Mailer."
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"We met in the park last week. I was sitting there,"
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"reading Tommy's latest book and he came over"
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"We've just been inseparable ever since."
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"It's time to serve the main course!"
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"You want me to come back after dessert?"
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"No."
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"- Do I have to give back the $ 25? - Yes."
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"I don't think that's fair."
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"Then give me ten and get out of here."
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"Well, what are y'all looking at?"
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"All right, maybe I don't have a date."
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"Maybe my date took one look at me and said"
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"he'd rather die than be caught in public with me."
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"And maybe he's right. Maybe I do look awful."
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"But think about this - I still look better than either one of you!"
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"And so, after I threw up, I pass out in this tattoo parlor, right?"
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"When I come to the next morning, just stinking to high hell,"
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"and I look down and I've got this scorpion tattooed on my belly."
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"But it's nice work. You wanna see it?"
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"No!"
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"Where did you find him? He's disgusting."
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"Well, at least I have a man."
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"Have one? Sounds like you swallowed one."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?"
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"It's time to present the Friends of Good Health's Best Friend of the Year Award."
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"Don Johnson, star of Miami Vice."
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"who was originally scheduled to be here, will be unable to attend."
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"to send over the clothes that he was planning to wear here tonight."
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"Girls, before she announces the winner,"
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"I just wanna wish you both the best of luck."
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"What harm could it do? 'Cause I'm gonna win the award."
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"Why don't you just shut up?"
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"- Why don't you just shut up? - Why don't you both just shut up?"
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"And now, for the moment that you have all been waiting for."
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"The winner of the Best Friend of the Year Award is..."
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"...Miss Sophia Petrillo."
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"All right!"
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"I'm very proud to win this award. Who would have guessed"
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"an old lady with a tin can could raise so much dough?"
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"I would like to thank you all for choosing me to be"
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"the Best Friend of the Year. I'm a very lucky woman."
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"Not only do I have a lot of friends in this community,"
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"but I have a lot of good friends at home."
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"Friends who care about me and care about each other."
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"I count my blessings every day, because I have the kind of friends"
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"who stand by you through the bad and the good."
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"When you're lucky enough to find that kind of friendship,"
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"I guess you just want to pass it on."
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"Wait. May I say a few words, just to my friends 75 and over?"
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"I'd like you to take a good look at your dates for this evening."
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"Now take a look at mine! Stand up, Raoul!"
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"The man is half my age. Isn't he gorgeous?"
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"Let's give us both a big hand!"
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"Girls, girls, I am so sorry."
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"Oh, so am I."
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"Let's make a toast to friendship."
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"All to friendship."
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"Well, I don't have a date yet either."
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"- Excuse me, I'm sorry. - Stay away from me, Rose."
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