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Clips from The Golden Girls - Flu Attack (S01E01)

"You know, Sophia, you're absolutely right. When I was a little girl,"
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"Mama used to rub eucalyptus oil on our necks"
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"and then tie a sock around to keep it warm."
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"It cleared your sinuses up just like that."
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"My mother always used to sing to us. And make us gingerbread men."
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"In Sicily, we never went to the doctor. We went to the Widow Caravelle."
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"Whatever you had, she had a cure."
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"She was best known for this green salve"
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"she used to make to treat ear infections."
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"One day, she gave a batch to Salvador, the village idiot."
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"He misunderstood the directions"
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"and put it on his linguine instead of in his ear."
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"As it turns out, it wasn't such a bad thing to do."
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"The stuff tasted great and Salvador decided to market it."
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"At first, it didn't move so well."
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"Linguine With Ear Salve on a menu doesn't look too appetizing."
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"But once he changed the name to pesto sauce,"
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"it moved like hotcakes."
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"Ma, you're making this up!"
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"So what? I'm old, I'm supposed to be colorful."
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"Dorothy, where's my heating pad?"
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"How should I know?"
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"If this isn't it, I'd like to know what other electrical appliance"
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"you're using under that blanket."
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"You can't have it. I need it. My chest is congested."
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"What about my chest? It needs heat, too."
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"I don't care about your chest. I just care about my chest."
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"Well, you're the only one who does."
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"Forget it, Ma. I don't have the strength to stand up."
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"If you don't try it on now, I can't finish it by Saturday."
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"Who am I kidding? I'm not gonna be able to go to that banquet."
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"None of us is. We won't be better by then."
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"Of course, Ma. You can have my date, my dress, and my dessert at the dinner."
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"Just leave me alone with my thermometer and the one nostril I can breathe out of."
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"Great news, girls! I found my folk medicine book."
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"It has a cure for everything."
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"I hope it has a cure for crankiness. A lot of that going around."
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"Cranky, cranky, cranky. Would it be under anything else?"
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"- Try Dorothy. - Try Blanche."
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"Oh, come on, girls. Now, let's put on a happy face."
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"We'll get better much faster."
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"My cousin Dennis was the perfect example of that."
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"When he was 16 years old,"
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"he caught his sideburns in the hay baler."
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"Well, excuse me. I didn't realize it was Gang Up On Rose Day."
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"I have been cooped up listening to your stupid stories for three days now."
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"You're just lucky it isn't String Rose Up From a Tree Day."
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"I'm not gonna let you two Gloomy Guses rain on my parade."
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"I'm just gonna keep on smiling."
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"Rose, you're sick as a dog!"
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"How can you be so disgustingly cheerful?"
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"It's my folk medicine book - it has the most wonderful Hot Toddy recipe."
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"Here, taste."
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"Rose, this stuff should have an octane rating."
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"I know!"
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"She can't help it, Blanche. She has to blow her nose."
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"Or is that a banana?"
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"You miserable..."
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"Oh, would you two knock it off. It's time for Another World."
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"You can't watch Another World."
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"- Why not? - Because you watched it yesterday."
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"That's exactly why I have to watch it today."
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"To find out what happens. That's why they always say,"
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""Stay tuned for the continuing story of Another World. ""
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"Too bad, Blanche. Today it's my turn to choose."
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"And we are not watching Another Worldl"
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"Oh, you are undoubtedly the meanest sick person I've ever met!"
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"Not to mention the most unattractive."
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"Girls, why do we have to watch TV anyway?"
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"There are plenty of other fun things we can do."
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"We can play cards, listen to records, bake cookies."
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"Now, we can't let this nasty flu get us down."
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"It's bad enough we have to miss the banquet,"
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"must we also participate in a Girl Scout Jamboree?"
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"I was just trying to be kind, courteous, helpful..."
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"Well, knock it off!"
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"I've had it up to here with your cheerful disposition."
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"You know how many of these stinking Hot Toddies I have to drink"
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"to keep on a happy face?"
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"I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm not speaking to either of you!"
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"And I'm not speaking to you, either!"
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"- Me neither! To either of you! - Fine!"
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"- Fine! - Fine!"
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"Do we have any orange juice left?"
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"No, we're all out."
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"All right, I want an answer and I want it now."
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"Which one of you has been dipping into my Vicks VapoRub?"
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"I took it. And my chest was already completely coated!"
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"I did it out of spite because you lost the pre-measured cup off my Nyquil."
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"Rose, I took your stupid cup. And do you know why?"
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"Because I feel lousy, and being mean to you makes me feel better."
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"Dorothy Zbornak! You can go straight to H-E-double hockey sticks!"
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"Double hockey sticks?"
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"Oh, what language! My ears are burning!"
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"Rose Nylund, you know what you are?"
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"You are an A-1, first-class, all-around nerd!"
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"Oh, honey, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."
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"Oh, it's gotten to all of us."
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"Do you know that we have been at each other's throats for two days?"
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"I've been the worst. I hope you two can forgive me."
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"Oh, girls, let's make a pact."
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"Let's promise we're gonna help each other get through this mess."
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"Would I be too big a nerd if I asked for a group hug?"
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"- Oh! - Oh, honey, of course not."
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"- What are you doing? - We're having a group hug."
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"Knock it off. The neighbors will get the wrong idea."
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"By the way, I just called Harriet McConnell"
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"to cancel your reservations to the banquet."
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"Oh, thanks, Ma."
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"She was very disappointed you all aren't coming."
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"And I think it's because one of you won the big award."
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"You mean the Best Friend of the Friends of Good Health Award?"
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"- Yeah. - Why, what'd she say?"
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"It wasn't what she said, it was what she didn't say."
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"What didn't she say?"
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"How the hell do I know? She didn't say it!"
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"I read between the lines."
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"I wouldn't be one bit surprised if you won that award."
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"You know, I think you're right, Blanche."
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"Why, sure. You took part in the walkathon and the bikeathon and the telethon."
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