Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Chocolate Milk (S02E02)

Thanks, Doctor.

"Thanks, Doctor."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, there, Sarge. Not to pry, but I couldn't help but overhear

"Hey, there, Sarge. Not to pry, but I couldn't help but overhear"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I got snipped.

"I got snipped."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Trunk to skunk?

"Trunk to skunk?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And you should never snip its wings.

"And you should never snip its wings."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Anybody else? This is your last chance.

"Anybody else? This is your last chance."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sergeant, is this going to go on your "spermanent" record?

"Sergeant, is this going to go on your "spermanent" record?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, Sarge, great news.

"Hey, Sarge, great news."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sorry, the stabbing part is bad.

"Sorry, the stabbing part is bad."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But here's the dope part.

"But here's the dope part."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The guy survived and he owns a chocolate milk restaurant.

"The guy survived and he owns a chocolate milk restaurant."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know, right? Finally, a dumb Brooklyn hipster

"I know, right? Finally, a dumb Brooklyn hipster"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Want to hop on the case with me?

"Want to hop on the case with me?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because my wife's out of town with the girls.

"because my wife's out of town with the girls."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sarge, I'm every kind of friend.

"Sarge, I'm every kind of friend."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm Phoebe, I'm Chandler,

"I'm Phoebe, I'm Chandler,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

to the penis removal of the century.

"to the penis removal of the century."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What? When?

"What? When?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Feels like they're just being weird using numbers instead of letters.

"Feels like they're just being weird using numbers instead of letters."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No offense, but you are something of a teacher's pet.

"No offense, but you are something of a teacher's pet."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

by Deputy Chief Brandt. We have a good rapport.

"by Deputy Chief Brandt. We have a good rapport."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He was once my Captain.

"He was once my Captain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That is amazingly funny.

"That is amazingly funny."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, I was closing up at around 11:00.

"Well, I was closing up at around 11:00."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I heard the door open.

"I heard the door open."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Like, like, right here.

"Like, like, right here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because I banned him from my 'straunt.

"because I banned him from my 'straunt."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here. Try this.

"Here. Try this."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right.

"All right."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay. I will figure something out.

"Okay. I will figure something out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know. Maybe if I pay my neighbor, JoAnn,

"I know. Maybe if I pay my neighbor, JoAnn,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Wuntch. Good to see you.

"Captain Wuntch. Good to see you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's Deputy Chief Wuntch now.

"It's Deputy Chief Wuntch now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And now, I'm here to evaluate you.

"And now, I'm here to evaluate you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's on a lot of medication.

"He's on a lot of medication."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

None.

"None."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, he needs to smoke some weed.

"Ah, he needs to smoke some weed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Dude, your head is so small.

"Dude, your head is so small."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, no, it's so small!

"No, no, it's so small!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Uh-oh. Walk of shame. Same clothes as yesterday.

"Uh-oh. Walk of shame. Same clothes as yesterday."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Come here, phone.

"Come here, phone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Did I do this and call you Tiny Head?

"Did I do this and call you Tiny Head?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, that's great.

"Oh, that's great."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake, I am so scared that man is about to make a huge mistake,

"Jake, I am so scared that man is about to make a huge mistake,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

RE, his vas deferens.

"RE, his vas deferens."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sorry, Terry turned my spine into a loose stack of pebbles.

"Sorry, Terry turned my spine into a loose stack of pebbles."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Two-toned graphs? You think you can distract me

"Two-toned graphs? You think you can distract me"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Same old Ray Holt. All sizzle, no steak.

"Same old Ray Holt. All sizzle, no steak."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Looks like we both want that stapler.

"Looks like we both want that stapler."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So, when did it all go south?

"So, when did it all go south?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

1989. I was up for a big promotion,

"1989. I was up for a big promotion,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Madeline.

"Madeline."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He thinks I stabbed him? That's crazy.

"He thinks I stabbed him? That's crazy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and have a couple beers.

"and have a couple beers."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Also, there's a, uh, pilates studio with a huge window

"Also, there's a, uh, pilates studio with a huge window"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So, it's a pretty sweet view.

"So, it's a pretty sweet view."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I guess that's not as bad as stabbing someone?

"I guess that's not as bad as stabbing someone?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

puked on a statue, went to bed.

"puked on a statue, went to bed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

cancel your vasectomy, grab some drinks, laugh about the time

"cancel your vasectomy, grab some drinks, laugh about the time"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

you almost got a vasectomy.

"you almost got a vasectomy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

now that we're knocking boots.

"now that we're knocking boots."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

does not mean we are friends.

"does not mean we are friends."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, I don't go there.

"Oh, I don't go there."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, thank you for your time.

"Well, thank you for your time."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

who accepts same day walk-ins.

"who accepts same day walk-ins."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I am so sorry.

"I am so sorry."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's walking out. Just like your father did.

"He's walking out. Just like your father did."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I'm sorry, okay? But the things you said when you were

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? But the things you said when you were"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

whacked out were real. You made me promise. And as your friend...

"whacked out were real. You made me promise. And as your friend..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Not good enough. Prepare to be physically overpowered by a friend-friend.

"Not good enough. Prepare to be physically overpowered by a friend-friend."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Concede defeat, sir! You have been conquered.

"Concede defeat, sir! You have been conquered."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Where'd you get this?

"Where'd you get this?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And then, when you wouldn't stop, they just gave it to you?

"And then, when you wouldn't stop, they just gave it to you?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because of the night before.

"because of the night before."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But she didn't.

"But she didn't."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, because you shot me.

"Yeah, because you shot me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What if there had been a mole?

"What if there had been a mole?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

go to Jamaica all the time. The theme of their party is

"go to Jamaica all the time. The theme of their party is"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"Jamaican Me Marry You". So good.

""Jamaican Me Marry You". So good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I think we both know it hasn't.

"I think we both know it hasn't."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We do. Fair enough.

"We do. Fair enough."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I tried to stop Sarge from getting his tubes tied.

"I tried to stop Sarge from getting his tubes tied."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But he somehow managed to sneak off to the hospital.

"But he somehow managed to sneak off to the hospital."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I had this sweater, and it was a work sweater

"I had this sweater, and it was a work sweater"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm sorry about your precious grade, Santiago, but this isn't about you.

"I'm sorry about your precious grade, Santiago, but this isn't about you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I attempted to cajole her, but she rebuffed me.

"I attempted to cajole her, but she rebuffed me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I'm not trying to talk you out of anything.

"Look, I'm not trying to talk you out of anything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and to prove to you, once and for all,

"and to prove to you, once and for all,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that I'm more than just a work friend.

"that I'm more than just a work friend."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

See you on the other side.

"See you on the other side."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's not a good sign.

"That's not a good sign."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

in a Jamaican torture chamber with you.

"in a Jamaican torture chamber with you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're going to go to this terrible party.

"We're going to go to this terrible party."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sebastian from The Little Mermaid.

"Sebastian from The Little Mermaid."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Also, tomorrow, I'm going to help you find a new apartment.

"Also, tomorrow, I'm going to help you find a new apartment."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here we go.

"Here we go."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake, I have to tell you something.

"Jake, I have to tell you something."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, boy.

"Oh, boy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know that's scientifically wrong, but thanks, Sarge.

"I know that's scientifically wrong, but thanks, Sarge."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're a huggy, good...

"You're a huggy, good..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wait! ...friend.

"Wait! ...friend."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's still so much I have to say to you.

"There's still so much I have to say to you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And?

"And?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Derek Jeter thing was my fault.

"The Derek Jeter thing was my fault."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, you were right. This is the best job I've ever had,

"No, you were right. This is the best job I've ever had,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, my God. You really shouldn't have.

"Oh, my God. You really shouldn't have."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

An "A".

"An "A"."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just curious, does your system have pluses in it?

"Just curious, does your system have pluses in it?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

you're going to the doctor? Everything okay?

"you're going to the doctor? Everything okay?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm getting a vasectomy.

"I'm getting a vasectomy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

My ears are burning.

"My ears are burning."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Did someone say "vasectomy"?

"Did someone say "vasectomy"?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's not supposed to.

"It's not supposed to."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hold it up. You're going to let some quack doctor just knife around down there?

"Hold it up. You're going to let some quack doctor just knife around down there?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You were blessed with a great power.

"You were blessed with a great power."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thanks, guys, that's enough. I don't need any more input.

"Thanks, guys, that's enough. I don't need any more input."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Neither does your wife, I guess.

"Neither does your wife, I guess."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, you guys, if the Sergeant wants to chop off his penis,

"Look, you guys, if the Sergeant wants to chop off his penis,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that is his choice.

"that is his choice."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Show more clips