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Clips from The Simpsons - Who Shot Mr. Burns?: Part 2 (S07E07)

"Sir, you weren't shot."
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"And you and I are undercover detectives on the hot-rod circuit."
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"Speedway Squad! In color."
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"- We don't have an outhouse. - My toolshed! Oh, Dad!"
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"I'm the one who- who shot Mr. Burns."
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"This isn't a rival company you're battling with. It's a school."
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"Oh, do your research, Shutton. Uh, Kent Brockman, Channel Six News."
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"Hey, that's my Madonna gag. That guy stole my gag."
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"And you stole it from last Friday's episode of Pardon My Zinger."
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"I am Melvin Van Horn, and this is my associate, Hershel Krustofski."
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"Well, I don't think anyone in this family is capable of attempted murder."
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"Now, let's discuss the, um, "mo-tive. ""
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"Nightclub owner, Moe Syzslak."
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"And grounds tender, Groundskeeper Willie, he lost his job..."
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"Hey, what about that jazz teacher that got laid off?"
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"But I can't see him doing something illegal."
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"Okay, okay, I believe you're innocent."
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"Hmm."
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"Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight."
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"We need to find out who it belonged to. We want a D.N.A. test."
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"Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder."
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"I took everything that came with it, including D.N.A."
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"D'oh! You- Oh! No. No. No."
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"I've got no time for your demented parlor games."
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"Oh, Mr. Pigeon, I'd kiss you if you weren't swimming with disease."
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"We cannot claim the reward unless we have 51% of the carcass."
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"Say it, Burns! Say I never shot you..."
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"I'm afraid not, my primitive friend."
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"Oh, it's you. What are you so happy about? I see."
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"That's the one. Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby."
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"If Maggie could talk, I'm sure she'd apologize for shooting you."
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"Hmm, maybe Texas."
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"Besides, she didn't mean it. It was an accident."
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"The Simpsons"
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"D'oh!"
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"Ick, my mouth tastes like an ashtray."
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"It was all a dream."
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"That's right. The year is 1965."
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"Now let's burn rubber, baby!"
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"Wait. That was all a dream."
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"Aw! Hey, then maybe I haven't become a hideous, drunken wreck."
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"And- Oh"
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"Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield..."
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"but until now none of them was important."
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"I'm Kent Brockman. At 3:00 p. m. Friday, local autocrat C. Montgomery Burns..."
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"was shot, following a tense confrontation at town hall."
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"Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead."
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"He was then transferred to a better hospital, where doctors upgraded his condition to alive."
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"Now let's talk to Police Chief Wiggum."
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"Oh. Oh, hiya, Ken."
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"Uh, right now we are questioning two witnesses..."
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"who were in the vicinity at the time."
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"Did you see this guy? Was he anywhere near the parking lot when Burns got shot?"
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"Oh, it's no use. They ain't talkin'."
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"Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr. Burns."
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"Even us."
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"Bart, he broke your dog's legs."
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"Grampa, he destroyed your home."
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"And, Dad, well, you kinda went berserk when he couldn't remember your name."
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"Berserk is right!"
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"May I have some iced tea, please?"
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"Aren't we forgetting someone, sister suspect?"
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"Yeah, I was just getting to me."
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"Because of Mr. Burns, they canceled my jazz program..."
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"and my friend Tito Puente got fired."
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"- But I could never shoot someone. - Could so."
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"- Could not. Could not. - Could so. Could so."
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"Kids, kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."
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"The police already have a suspect. It's Mr. Smithers."
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"Oh, I bet he's the one. Yeah, Smingers did it."
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"Oh! Could I have shot Mr. Burns in a drunken rage?"
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"No, no, not me. I know in my heart I-"
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"A gun."
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"And it's been recently fired. Wait."
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"I remember leaving the town meeting."
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"I must have run into Mr. Burns outside and-"
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"Hey!"
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"Mr. Burns. What have I done?"
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"Hey, Homer, us hotheads here is gonna go tear down Burns's sun-blockin' machine."
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"- You wanna come with? - Sure."
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"I've had it up to here with these damn rickets."
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"Pull, Duchess, pull!"
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"Um, uh, what town did we just crush?"
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"Shelbyville."
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"Oh, this guilt is driving me mad."
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"I've got to tell someone."
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"Father, I'm not a Catholic, but-"
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"Well, I tried to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
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"Anyway, I've got a rather large sin to confess."
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"- That's all I needed to hear. Boy, this thing works great."
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"The man became consumed by greed. He'd steal from anyone."
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"- People won't stand for it. - Pish-posh."
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"It will be like taking candy from a baby."
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"Say, that sounds like a "larf. ""
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"And when he tried to steal our sunlight..."
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"he crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy."
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"Bah! He was a rank amateur..."
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"compared to Dr. Colossus."
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"Ow! Oh! When is my lawyer coming?"
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"Uh, Dave Shutton, Springfield Daily Shopper."
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"Who are you? Where you going?"
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"How does it feel to be accused of the attempted murder of your boss and mentor?"
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"Kent, I- I feel about as low as Madonna..."
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"when she found out she missed Tailhook."
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"I'm gonna say ouch for Madonna."
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"Stole, made up-what's the difference?"
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"Mr. Smithers must have seen that program too."
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"He never misses it. Hmm."
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"At the town meeting, he mentioned that he watched Comedy Central."
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"I made sure to note that, as it seemed quite unusual."
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"Ye gods! To the police station, Krusty!"
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"- Hey, hey. - Officers, you have arrested an innocent man."
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"Really? Oh, geez. All right, Colossus, you're free to go."
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"- But stay away from Death Mountain. - But all my stuff is there."
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"I was referring to Waylon Smithers."
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"Mr. Burns was shot Friday at 3:00 p. m..."
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"So, you see, he couldn't have done it."
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"Yes, you're right. I remember now."
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"I- I watched that entire show."
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"In fact, I left the town meeting early so I could get home in time."
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