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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - Penultimate Peril: Part 1 (S03E03)

"If I can trust you."
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"a phrase which here means "very famous for being very loud.""
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"The noise it makes sounded a lot like a word,"
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"and that word described Violet Baudelaire"
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"as she prepared to carry a harpoon gun to the rooftop sunbathing salon."
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"I rang two minutes ago, and it's an emergency."
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"Babs? How do you know my name?"
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"Well, that makes sense."
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"I'll never get that clipboard back."
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"but this hotel is poorly organized,"
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"so the sauna is on the second floor."
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"My, you're smart."
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"Right this way, ma'am."
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"Who's there? I can't see a thing in this steam."
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"It's your girlfriend! And the concierge."
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"Yes! We met at a support group for people who were terrorized by Esmé Squalor,"
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"and we fell hopelessly in love."
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"Isn't that right, love of my life?"
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"It's definitely not a cover story, fire of my loins."
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"I'll get that Martini."
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"He's gone."
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"I'm so anxious. How long do we have to keep this act up?"
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"There are enemies in this hotel."
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"We have to make them think we're a happy couple"
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"Letting them go was the biggest mistake of my life."
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"I shouldn't have let that man who said he was a doctor"
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"We just have to wait till Thursday."
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"That's when all these unfortunate events will be over"
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"He's busy at his lumber mill."
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"Oh, oh, oh."
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"Well, I have someone too."
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"She also received a telegram, but couldn't make it either."
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"She's in prison for bank robbery."
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"Ah!"
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"so that makes sense."
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"Excuse me. I have a telegram from J.S.,"
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"You mean her name. J.S. is a woman."
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"I thought he was a sea captain."
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"Hmm..."
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"Well, well, well."
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"Ah, there you are, concierge. I have an important job for you."
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"I need you to help me hang this from the window of room 598,"
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"Is it flypaper?"
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"Yes, although our problem is not flies. It's birds."
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"You want me to hang flypaper"
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"out of the window of a hotel room to trap birds? That seems strange."
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"Can I trust you, concierge?"
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"If I can trust you."
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"As you know,"
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"This word described Klaus Baudelaire"
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"to get from the third floor to the lobby,"
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"so you're neither early nor late."
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"I have no idea what you're saying."
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"So I have a very important meeting in the restaurant in room 954,"
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"but my secretary, Jacqueline Scieszka, moved to Winnipeg,"
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"and my other secretary, whose name I never learned,"
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"So, do you have any secretarial experience?"
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"You remind me of a toddler I know."
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"I mean, obviously you can't be her."
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"I mean, why would a toddler be working at a hotel and as a concierge?"
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"Oh, I just must be hungry for a familiar face."
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"Hello, I'm Larry Your-Waiter. I hope you're hungry for Indian food."
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"In room 954, which is the library catalog number for India and South Asia,"
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"The culinary history of the region is quite fascinating."
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"-Don't want to broaden your horizons? -No, thank you. I'm afraid of foreigners."
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"One glass of milk coming up, and something to bite for the little lady."
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"but this hotel is positively packed with familiar faces."
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"Ah, you must be J.S.!"
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"I may forget a name, but I never remember a face."
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"Well, lookee here. A small child."
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"It's frankly kind of disturbing how much I love children."
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"Which is why I am not going to let you out of my sight."
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"Did you procure the items I requested?"
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"I said "procure," when a perfectly normal word would do,"
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"am an insufferable know-it-all who likes to show off."
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"Which you signed J.S., yes."
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"And as requested,"
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"I gathered everything I found in the Baudelaire case,"
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"including all the information that could incriminate Count Olaf."
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"Super. I'll just take that."
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"if I handed an incomplete file. After all, you requested everything."
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"What?"
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"Everything."
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"I combed through thousands of documents"
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"until I found each bit evidence that could relate to the Baudelaire case."
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"How tedious. Compliment taken."
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"And once I gathered it all up, I came to a shocking discovery."
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"That you have to get out more?"
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"This file is more than a collection of esoteric documents"
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"When taken together, it forms a complete history of injustice,"
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"and various well-meaning yet ineffectual authority figures"
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"who help him, intentionally or unintentionally, along the way."
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"I even gave it my own title."
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"I call it, The Complete History of Injustice"
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"or Odious Lusting After Fortunes."
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"Mr. Poe, this is a shocking development."
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"I promise to keep that file safe, or my name isn't Jacques Snicket,"
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"This isn't the file. Beg your pardon?"
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"This is the index. The file was too big for my briefcase."
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"You both have the exact same initials."
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"Fancy seeing you here."
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"I forgot your milk."
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"-But it's on that tray. -I'll go get it from the chef."
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"Odd service."
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"Hotel restaurants!"
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"So tell me, who is this other J.S."
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"that seems so interested in the Baudelaire orphans?"
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"How soon before J.S. arrives?"
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"The real J.S., not that imposter in the dining room."
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"Tonight. And the package will be arriving as well."
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"Especially if there are mushrooms on the menu."
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"Ah, concierge, I need you to come with me to room 025, the laundry room."
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"like orphans or cats."
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"I know how to make a cat stay."
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"If you see that waiter, tell him I'm still waiting on that milk."
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"Exactly. Sometimes what seems mysterious is really part of a larger plan."
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"Larry, you're done ruining my schemes, and also my lunch."
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"It's way too spicy."
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"Olaf, you lack more than an appreciation for subcontinental cuisine."
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"You lack morals and ethics. And back-up! Where are your associates now?"
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