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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - Penultimate Peril: Part 1 (S03E03)

"any more than I can stop that taxi from driving away."
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"It won't be easy to find J.S. in a hotel this big."
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"A big hotel can work to our advantage."
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"If Count Olaf turns up, it won't be easy for him to find us."
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"Bellhop, take the luggage to the room"
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"and the, uh,  Carmelita II up to the roof."
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"If you spent more time with her, she wouldn't feel the need to act out."
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"My real parents took me wherever I wanted."
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"Some parents. They wouldn't even pay the ransom."
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"Your father is very stressed about work, darling."
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"Yes, lie to her. That's excellent parenting."
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"I need a drink."
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"You!"
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"Concierge."
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"The manager's on our side of the schism. Well, one of them is, anyway."
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"I hear this hotel has a spa,"
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"which is perfect because I'd like a face peel."
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"-I don't think it works that way. -Well, I need to relieve my stress somehow"
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"-Not in the lobby! -Oh!"
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"I don't want to go to the room."
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"I'm an adorable, beautiful, cute, dainty, eye-pleasing, flawless girl,"
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"and I want to go to the pool!"
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"Remind me why we can't send her back to her parents."
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"I don't know, but it can't be good that he's here."
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"We have to find out what he and Esmé are planning."
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"Are you eavesdropping on our guests?"
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"We're doing the job we were instructed to do."
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"You must be our new concierges."
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"Welcome to the hotel. I'm one of the managers."
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"I'm happy you're here, even though one of you is unusually short"
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"because we're unusually short-handed. This way, please."
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"What do those numbers mean? There can't be 999 rooms in this hotel."
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"Some luggage arrived in a taxi,"
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"but the driver said the guest won't get here until Thursday."
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"Thursday?"
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"Excuse me, concierges."
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"Do you think that was Frank?"
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"He used the word volunteer. Maybe it was a code."
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"Everything he said sounded like a code. You must be our new concierges."
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"Welcome to the Hotel Denouement. I'm one of the managers."
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"I am. You're just in time."
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"We're anticipating a large number of guests before Thursday."
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"Do you know why? We think so."
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"Can you tell me? Interesting question."
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"That's a smart answer. It's hard to know who you can trust in a hotel lobby."
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"There are countless wicked people in the world."
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"Sooner or later, some of them will check into a hotel."
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"Sir, The Daily Punctilio arrived with an update on those murderers."
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"Murderers?"
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"Excuse me, concierges."
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"That had to be Ernest. The part about wicked people sounded like a threat."
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"Unless it was a warning. I'm confused."
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"because the Hotel Denouement is not organized like a hotel at all."
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"It's organized like a library."
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"Well, a library organizes knowledge"
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"That's right. All guests at the hotel"
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"are placed in rooms according to where they would be shelved in a library."
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"But anyone who works here would have to know the library catalog by heart."
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"332, financial economics."
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"That bell doesn't have a number."
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"People who sunbathe usually aren't interested in library science,"
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"so they're not too picky about location."
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"Three bells, three rooms."
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"But you can't be in three places at once. You'll have to split up, Baudelaires."
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"You know our names? Are you Frank or Ernest?"
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"It is impossible for one person to be in three places at once,"
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"unless, of course, that person is viewing a television program."
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"Klaus's discovery of a strange conspiracy on the sixth floor..."
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"and Violet's dangerous dilemma in the rooftop sunbathing salon."
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"Just... not at the same time."
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"Yippeekiyay, mateys!"
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"I'm a ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate!"
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"Of course you are."
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"Carmelita's been exploring her tomboy side. Isn't she adorable?"
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"As the vice principal of Prufrock Prep,"
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"I can tell you Carmelita was always an adorable girl,"
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"and now she's an adorable tomboy!"
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"Some girls find "tomboy" insulting."
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"Some girls find tomboy to be an insulting term that blah, blah, blah..."
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"Must be the concierge. You're late. I rang two whole minutes ago."
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"What is it you require, ma'am? Don't address me."
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"I'd no sooner look at or speak to the help than I would wear modest clothing."
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"I didn't summon you for your opinion."
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"I summoned you to give that adorable little girl in the yacht"
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"Hey, concierge, I want an ice cream cone with hot pink sprinkles,"
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"If I may gush like an open wound, I'm not just a vice principal,"
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"but I'm also the vice president of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club!"
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"I'm your number one fan."
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"I don't do autographs."
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"I've read every story about you in The Daily Punctilio."
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"You are so glamorous and important. You remind me of myself."
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"Please, tell me, what are you planning next?"
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"this hotel has ever seen."
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"I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I'm a member of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club,"
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"and I'd love to hear about a big surprise at a cocktail party."
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"Can't you give me a hint? No!"
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"I also want sugar on top. No."
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"Does it have to do with the spyglass?"
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"What spyglass?"
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"When I was watching you from under that table,"
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"which I often do as your number one fan,"
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"Bird-watching is "in.""
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"Bird-watching in!"
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"Wait until the readers of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club newsletter hear about that!"
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"You're such a wonderfully nosy man. You must know all sorts of information."
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"Tell you what."
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"if you tell me about a certain person who's been inviting people to this hotel."
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"Hmm?"
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"You of all people should know who know J.S. is!"
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"Oh, there's one more thing I forgot to tell you to get me."
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"I want a harpoon gun."
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"Excuse me, sir."
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"Is there a problem?"
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"A guest asked for something. I don't think I should give it to her."
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"The job of the concierge is to give the guests exactly what they ask for."
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"Giving a harpoon gun to Carmelita Spats would be wrong."
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"But not giving it to her would be suspicious."
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"V.F.D. is aware of Ms. Spats' intentions, and we've already taken them into account."
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"Sometimes what seems wrong is really part of a larger plan."
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"Can I trust you, concierge?"
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