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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - Penultimate Peril: Part 1 (S03E03)

"I swear I've seen that waiter somewhere before."
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"Oh, you're most certainly right we've never met."
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"As an upstanding, book-reading, still-living citizen,"
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"I sure love children. I love 'em so darn much."
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"This is actually my secretary. Well, technically, she's a concierge."
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"because I, Jacques Snicket,"
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"-Which are definitely my initials. -Which are certainly your initials."
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"Then I thought I'd be remiss in my duties as a banker"
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"So I did some digging, and do you know what I found?"
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"A bank is a bit like a library, although we don't approve of people browsing."
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"chronicling the unhappy lives of several children. No!"
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"as demonstrated by a wicked villain, his treacherous girlfriend,"
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"a pompous dogooder who is definitely not dead."
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"It's being delivered tonight by another client"
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"Larry."
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"I'm afraid I can't discuss that. Banker-client confidentiality."
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"Pretend your life depended on it."
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"Things are worse than we thought."
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"If they intercept the delivery, we will all be eating crow."
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"Crow is tough to eat."
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"I hope we have enough sugar."
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"That came from the kitchen."
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"Where did your secretary go?"
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"I need you to put this special lock on the door."
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"You skin it."
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"We'll take the service elevator."
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"You haven't even tried the curry."
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"I think you mean Ernest."
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"It's an insult! It's an outrage!"
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"I'm sorry it has to end like this."
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"like this sauce, has simmered far too long."
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"Do you expect me to talk?"
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"No, Larry Your-Waiter."
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"I expect you to boil."
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"Great. This was dry-clean only."
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"It's important to keep this room secure."
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"The sound of the clock in the lobby described Sunny Baudelaire"
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"But it also describes the story of the Baudelaires"
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"because everything they thought they knew about their lives,"
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"Wrong."
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"but they each think that J.S. is a different person."
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"Like her husband, Jerome Squalor."
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"Mr. Poe's secretary was called Jacqueline Scieszka."
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"He doesn't know who the real J.S. is either."
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"and what does Carmelita want with a harpoon gun?"
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"Did Frank or Ernest give me the birdpaper?"
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"that was a favorite of the Baudelaires' father,"
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"The moral of the poem is that observing a part of something"
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"If we put them all together, we can see the whole shape."
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"Larry Your-Waiter said something about a package being delivered tonight,"
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"like the ones Isadora used to send couplets in the Village of Fowl Devotees?"
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"and why Carmelita needs a harpoon gun. She's gonna shoot it down."
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"What if the plan is for the package to fall in there?"
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"-We don't even know what the package is. -Maybe we do."
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"Justice Strauss!"
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"Baudelaires! Baudelaires!"
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"I went looking for you."
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"Next stop, Lousy Lane!"
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"Village of Fowl Devotees!"
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"Next stop, the hinterlands!"
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"But everywhere I went, you were already gone."
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"Exactly."
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"I realized finding you wouldn't be enough,"
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"I didn't do it alone."
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"Jacqueline Scieszka provided invaluable note-taking and globe-trotting services."
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"Jacques Snicket may be dead, but his research lives on."
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"and all your troubles will be over at last."
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"Of course."
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"because this story is finally over."
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"As the Baudelaires contemplated a future with Justice Strauss,"
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"they were excited to tell Kit what they'd learned."
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"although they did spell my name right."
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"What about your siblings?"
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"Monty, Josephine, the Quagmires."
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"And... Beatrice?"
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"I can't help anyone, Kit. You were there that night at the opera."
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"Do you still have a valid taxi driver's license?"
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"We know who J.S. is. We know the sugar bowl is being delivered,"
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"-on the laundry room door. -That's the problem."
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"I see what you mean. Two brothers can be in two places at the same time."
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"They can't be in three places."
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"Remember when we stayed at that hotel"
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"Father said when you do that, you never know where you'll end up."
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"You're not Kit."
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"which suits me fine because my work is secret, too."
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"So while Frank and Ernest run the hotel,"
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"I do my work in the shadows."
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"-It's a sub-library, so it's submerged. -It's under the pond."
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"It's a secret library."
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"You want to give us your library? I've read all about you, Baudelaires."
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"Is a safe life really enough?"
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"Before we answer, there's one secret we want to know."
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"An interesting question."
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"I searched the hotel for you orphans,"
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"Well, then, hand them over, Frank."
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"I'm not Frank either."
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"What, what? Well, you can't be Dewey."
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"He's a myth, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi."
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"Of course we will. Being early is "out.""
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"That's why they call it fashionably late."
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"But I need to practice."
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"I do hope you're coming to my cocktail party."
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"She means the Medusoid Mycelium."
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"and you know that it is mine."
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"There certainly are."
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"You will do as I say. I already bought you that ridiculous outfit."
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"Teach me to spit!"
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"Shoot the harpoon! Teach me to spit!"
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"Ha!"
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"I am tired of pretending to be a family,"
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"You stay out of this!"
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"Being constantly unappreciated"
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"That is the "outtest" thing of all!"
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"That's what makes it so satisfying."
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"Baudelaires... Going somewhere?"
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"Olaf, put the gun down. You've lost your associates."
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"Even if you open it, you'll find nothing in the laundry room except laundry."
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"but I wasn't born yesterday."
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"-you'll have to shoot me! -I can live with that. Three..."
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"You have a choice. You can choose not to pull that trigger."
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