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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Honeymoon (S01E01)

"Now your whole family thinks I'm this big hooker!"
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"It a funny one night thing!"
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"Everyone here is fine with it."
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"It was funny?"
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"Yeah, it was a f-it was a fun-"
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"it was a-it was a funny-it was-yes."
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"I had a best friend that hooked."
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"She married one of her Johns on my birthday."
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"Wow, so cool!"
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"It's not the time, Twyla."
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"Um Stevie, I don't think you're a big hooker."
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"You don't talk all dinner,"
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"I'm sorry, it's just I think sometimes you have a tendency"
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"to say the wrong thing, that's all."
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"Is there a right time to talk about being a hooker?"
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"I bet nobody thought sex with Trixie was funny."
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"Okay, you know what I think is happening,"
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"is things are just getting blown out of proportion,"
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"and honestly, if Alexis,"
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"you just tell us what you and mutt were talking about,"
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"it'd probably help."
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"We were just washing a car, and talking about bad dreams."
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"- Okay? - Okay."
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"You sound a little defensive."
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"- I'd agree. - Well..."
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"You know what, i just remembered,"
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"I have to wake up early tomorrow,"
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"I have an early check in."
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"Uh, nobody checks in."
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"Tomorrow someone is, early."
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"Uh Ted, you have a really special place,"
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"and we should all do this again some time."
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"David, would you mind walking me home,"
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"I don't think we're finished talking."
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"Oooh, David!"
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"My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice!"
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"My son is "pansexual.""
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"Mm-hmm, I've heard of that."
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"I know what that is, that's uh..."
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"- No. - Mm-hmm!"
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"No, he loves everyone, men, women,"
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"women who become men, men who become women."
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"I'm his father, and I always wanted his life to be easy."
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"But you know, just pick one gender, and maybe,"
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"Well... You know Johnny,"
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"when it comes to matters of the heart,"
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"we can't tell our kids who to love."
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"When?"
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"- You just said it now! - When?"
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"Now, right this second, you just said it."
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"And you're right, you can't tell them."
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"Whoa, thank you for playing along."
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"I'm sorry, I just had to get out of there,"
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"it was like being in an episode of "couples therapy.""
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"Okay wait, this was all a put on,"
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"just to get out of dinner?"
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"Yeah, I thought you were in on it."
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"Well, you deserve a daytime Emmy for that performance."
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"Okay, so you're not like, raging mad at me, then."
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"No. I think it's fair to say that neither of us"
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"- True. - It was funny!"
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"And a little humiliating."
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"Saw a lot of my body, and I didn't like it."
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"- Mm-hmm. - So..."
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"wondering if maybe we should um..."
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"Try it again, for the sake of practice?"
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"I'd be into that idea..."
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"For the sake of proficiency."
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"So I guess we won't be playing headbandz."
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"Just don't, just stay here."
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"Oh, hello again!"
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"Spending another night together?"
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"Dad!"
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"Oh, Stevie, I hope you're being smart."
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"Because we can't afford a baby right now,"
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"Okay, well, I think it's about time that you two go to bed."
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"Excuse me!"
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"David, I just want you to know that I support this."
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"Not the fact that you're sleeping with a girl, which is great."
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"But you know, I'd be just as happy"
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"if you were to bring home one of your guy friends."
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"What are you talking about?!"
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"Excuse me while I just go draw a warm bath,"
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"and plug in my hair dryer."
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"No, no, Stevie!"
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"You're a lovely girl, lovely girl."
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"Bit of an edge, but you know, it's growing on me."
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"David, I just want you to know that I endorse"
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"A-are you drunk?!"
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"Grass, too much grass."
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"Hey, track that cycle, missy!"
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"Okay, good night!"
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"Hey, good night!"
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"Good night."
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"Hey!"
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"Come in and say hi"
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"to your aunt Dee Dee."
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"Better hurry before she"
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"We should probably establish"
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"Can we do that after"
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"you screw Mr. fix-it? Or..."
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"Hey!"
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"Stevie?"
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"Are you in danger? Blink if you're in danger."
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"And I'm gonna call the police!"
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"Oh, yeah, no, unfortunately that's not gonna work for us."
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"- Why would it not be? - No, it's not! I mean..."
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"Can't we just think and work,"
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"Well, that's a touch presumptuous Jocelyn,"
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"I say we go with this one, it's the biggest."
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"You guys showed!"
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"so if you have any ideas about turning me in,"
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"So when the lasagna gets delivered,"
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"My whole family does not think you're a big hooker!"
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"- Who said that? - You did."
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"- Why did you say that? - Oh my God."
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"What the hell"
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"all your sexual encounters."
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"- A little bit, but. - What the... ?"
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"disappears for another decade."
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