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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.7 (S01E01)

"Chappelle's Show."
Chappelle's Show
"Oww."
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"Welcome back, guys, how ya been?"
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"that means that you've had a Great Moment"
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"Both prior attempts by Bobby were stuffed"
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"(gobbling)"
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"His attempt was blocked."
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"But Hutchinson recovered the block and exploited"
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"Hutchinson knew he was home free."
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"That night, Bobby and Gina had drunken sex"
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"I really got into that character, too."
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"'Cause after we was done shooting, I cleaned up the set."
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"I'm serious, they rolled camera on it."
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"And now, folks, it is time for a segment that I like"
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"of our favorite movies,"
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"(man) Hello, Neo, do you know who this is?"
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"I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you,"
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"but you must do exactly as I say."
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"Now."
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"I can't find mine."
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"we were talking about just the entrepreneurship"
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"I don't know if y'all have seen it..."
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"is the financial security and well-being of your family."
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"Wu-Tang Financial, a place for you and your kids."
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"Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with."
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"I worked at a couple of fast-food places."
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"Okay."
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"Hey, hey, welcome back."
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"I'm really tryin' to encourage dialogue"
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"amongst the diverse array of people in America,"
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"so it's time again for "Ask A Black Dude""
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"Why in the movies is the black guy the first guy killed?"
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"he heals all white people, the big black runaway."
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"that wrote that movie."
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""well, we don't do that, sell it to the niggers.""
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"Are your cameras still on?"
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"and coming from Stephen King, that was very strange."
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"That was already scary."
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"Nigger With A Brain."
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"Sex, sex, sex."
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"See, the thing about sex is there's good sex"
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"and there's bad sex."
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"And I mean bad like Catholic priest, R. Kelly bad."
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"Good evening, I'm Chuck Taylor."
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"involving boys and men of authority."
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"Jedi knights in a galaxy far, far away."
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"that the Jedi masters they studied under"
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"repeatedly sexually molested them over a number of years"
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"in some cases, encouraging the abuse."
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"being sexually abused by Jedis like Obi-Wan Kenobi."
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"We go there now."
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"(reporters shouting)"
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"You."
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"Know about sex with boys, Yoda did not."
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"Tired Yoda is."
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"You, you."
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"Can we roll the footage of that tape in question?"
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"Appalling Yoda's behavior was."
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"Now that freak has me talking like him."
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"is now at the podium."
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"Question here."
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"Strong words from Mr. Windau."
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"This never would've happened in the world of Star Trek"
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"'cause the fleet commanders would not have allowed..."
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"you can't prove that!"
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"I'd like to thank you at home for tuning in."
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"Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with."
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"Chappelle's Show. Chappelle's Show."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Whoo-hoo-hoo."
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"Whoo-hoo."
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"Yeah, yeah."
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"Let's start the show."
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"Guys, I was out last night, had a pretty good time,"
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"and I saw that mad dash."
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"when guys are really scrambling to get some booty?"
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"And it's like a game,"
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"and the shot clock is running out."
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"It's like football or something."
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"in Hook-Up History, and I salute you,"
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"and I salute all who have had a Great Moment"
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"in Hook-Up History."
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"(narrator) 1983, historic Applecrumby's,"
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"hook-up moments."
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"Bobby Hutchinson had spent the night"
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"by the tough defensive line that Morris traveled with,"
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"and right guard, Denisha "Bear" Bryant,"
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"a tandem that had racked up 14 cock blocks just a year earlier."
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"Bobby struck quickly, approaching the coveted Morris"
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"video game references."
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"You give me Pac-Man fever."
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"With the defense returning and time running out,"
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"Bobby went into his hurry-up offense."
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"Slowly but surely, Hutchinson wore down the defensive line"
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"with shots up the gut."
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"With time running out,"
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"Hutchinson went for the game-winning score."
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"Gina, why don't you just come home with me?"
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"No, we promised each other we'd all leave here together."
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"You know, I got some pizzas at the crib."
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"All right."
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"I don't want no pizza."
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"And some weed, too."
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"Weed? A'ight, yeah."
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"Victory was assured."
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"on top of her two passed-out friends,"
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"to call "Real Movies,""
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"of our favorite movies."
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"You know, a lot of these movies"
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"get to be a little fake and phony,"
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"like you see home alone,"
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"and Macaulay Culkin is trickin' these bad guys,"
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"when you know any real robber would've shot the little dude"
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"starting tonight with The Matrix."
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"Hello?"
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"Morpheus?"
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"Yes, I've been looking for you, Neo."
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"but, unfortunately, you and I have run out of time."
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"They're coming for you, Neo,"
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"and I don't know what they're going to do."
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