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Clips from The Brady Bunch - Is There a Doctor in the House? (S01E01)

"Did you hear that, Greg?"
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"You keep talking like that, girls, and..."
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"Gentlemen, if you don't like the conversation in this room..."
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"Which, by coincidence, happens to be a woman's room."
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"True."
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"Scram."
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"Come on, Peter. We can take a hint."
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"Yeah. It's time for lunch, anyway."
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"And just for that, Marcia,"
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"no free rides on my railroad."
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"I know there's another one somewhere."
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"I just remembered where. In the garage."
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"I'll be right back."
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"( bell rings)"
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"Is that you, Cindy?"
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"Yes, Mother."
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"Your orange juice is coming right up."
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"( slide whistle blowing)"
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"Yours, too, Bobby."
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"( bicycle bell rings)"
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"Oh, Marcia, can it wait?"
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"( bongos beating)"
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"Greg, your father's looking for a bell."
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"Now please stop pounding on those silly drums."
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"( noisemaker grinding)"
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"Happy New Year, Jan."
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"( whistle blowing)"
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"If you'll just wait a minute, Sergeant Peter,"
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"your lunch will be right there."
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"Oh, Alice, you know something?"
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"I bet, when I go to sleep tonight,"
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"I'm going to dream about bells."
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"I always dream about bells."
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"They're always the same kind."
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"Wedding bells."
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"And then I wake up."
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"( cowbell clanging)"
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"I found it."
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"No more bongo drums for Greg."
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"Oh, thank goodness."
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"Yeah. I kept getting the feeling"
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"that the natives were getting restless."
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"Come on, Mike. Let's take these trays up."
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"Okay."
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"We got everything here?"
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"Well, I think so."
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"There are six luncheon trays,"
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"uh... five comic books,"
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"four jigsaw puzzles, ♪ Three magic tricks ♪"
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"♪ Two ice cream bars ♪"
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"♪ And one cowbell. ♪"
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"GREG: It's sure great how some people can sing, while other people"
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"are dying!"
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"Why is it"
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"that kids always say they're dying?"
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"Because, to a child's mind,"
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"that is the super way of getting even."
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"You have to admit, though,"
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"the kids have been awfully good."
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"After all, they're uncomfortable, they're itchy..."
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"Yeah. And stuck up in bed."
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"I think they've been really great."
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"Hardly any trouble at all."
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"( cacophony of noisemakers)"
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"You were saying, Mrs. Brady?"
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"Onward and upward."
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"After you, my dear Miss Nightingale."
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"Oh, thank you, kind sir."
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"Lunch, lunch."
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"Everybody up."
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"and such chow you've never seen."
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"There, Greg. Isn't that beautiful?"
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"I'd really rather have bologna."
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"Bologna?"
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"That's a feast fit for a king."
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"Then give it to the king and get me some bologna."
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"Mike, he's sick and irritable."
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"If he wants bologna, then... Okay, okay."
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"I'll get it."
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"Bologna!"
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"Peter... there you go."
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"Bobby..."
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"Cindy: Hey, Mom, whatever happened to "ladies first"?"
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"Be right there."
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"We came in this room first."
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"Broccoli... yuck!"
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"Here we go."
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"Oh, I'm starved."
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"Me, too."
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"Here you are, sweetheart."
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"There... let me help you."
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"How come I always get"
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"peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"
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"Because you love them."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"And last but not least..."
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"Where's the gravy?"
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"Oh, the gravy. I forgot."
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"Gravy, coming up."
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"We forgot the gravy for Jan's food."
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"Mushed?"
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"Peter and Bobby want mustard."
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"All this up and down stairs..."
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"Have to pay a gym $100 for this much exercise."
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"CAROL: Now, Jan had chicken pox"
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"and, uh, Marcia and Cindy had mumps."
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"There. Well, whichever doctor we choose,"
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"at least we'll have all the information on all the kids."
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"Oh, except for poison oak."
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"Now, I know that none of the boys had it."
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"Well, none of the girls had poison oak either."
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"Okay, scratch poison oak."
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"Oh, Alice."
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"( giggles)"
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"Greetings. How are things in Brady General Hospital?"
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"Well, we're still featuring measles. Take a look."
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"What's this? Some kind of wall-to-wall Scrabble."
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"Hey, it's a marvelous new idea, but we sure could use your help."
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"What illnesses, diseases do you recall?"
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"The doctors have kept records"
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