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Clips from The Simpsons (1989) - Wad Goals (S32E32)

"what are you gonna buy next?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"I'm thinking of getting one of those booths"
The Simpsons (1989)
"that blows money around."
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"It pays for itself the first time you get in it."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Bart, no!"
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"That wad is your future."
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"What you need is a good investment vehicle."
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""Patented Ultra‐Freedom BadAss Technology"
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"- Yes! - Yeah!"
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"After you buy it, can we have rides?"
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"Guys, guys, if I shared my death‐mobile,"
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"then you wouldn't be motivated to earn wads of your own."
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"I'm doing this for you."
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"Yeah, well, you're acting like a butt wad."
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"Oh, Nelson."
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"Saying what you really think will get you nowhere."
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"- Lousy rich kids. -"
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"- If I had a quad, I'd share my quad. - Lame."
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"Mm!"
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"It's Bart's caddy job."
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"It's gross, right?"
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"You can tell me it's gross."
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"You think it's gross?"
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"Well, private golf clubs are pretty evil."
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"Right. They are."
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"How so?"
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"Waste of water resources,"
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"And Bart's a suck‐up!"
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"Not to mention that private clubs"
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"get huge breaks on their property taxes,"
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"which is completely unfair."
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"Lisa, we've got to shut down that club."
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"We're going to city hall!"
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"Club President Bildorf."
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"Plays every single day"
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"Looks like I picked the right summer job."
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"Mark my words‐‐ his bag will be on my shoulder"
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"Bingo‐Bango‐Bongo Best‐Ball Scramble."
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"You know, since school's not in session,"
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"I can finally tell you..."
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"you're awesome."
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"- Mm... - Hmm? Hmm?"
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"I'll take Simpson."
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"Eh, I just won't play."
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"Okay, Mom. You got to get your voice out there."
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"Take the cause directly to the people"
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"with an online petition."
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"I got this!"
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"There."
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"I got it."
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""Stop Coddling"
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"the Springfield Junipers Wealthy.""
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"Whoops, too long. Hmm."
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"How about "Stop Coddling"
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"the S. J. W. s.""
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"And post."
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"I wonder if that headline will get any attention."
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"An online petition attacking our local private golf club"
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"has garnered over one million signatures."
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"‐ ‐One million?"
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"you used the term "S. J. W.""
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"Yes, I know."
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"The "Springfield Junipers Wealthy.""
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"No! "S. J. W." stands for "social justice warriors.""
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"That's what right‐wing trolls call anyone who cares"
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"about positive social change."
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"Look at the other online petitions"
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"your "supporters" have backed."
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"Oh, boy."
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"Um, a signature's a signature?"
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"Thanks to the cranky clicks collected"
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"by local complainer Marge Simpson,"
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"Springfield's golf club will have to pay"
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"a huge property tax increase,"
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"threatening the club's very existence."
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"In one reporter's unbiased opinion,"
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"closing this par‐72 landmark would be a travesty."
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"One and all would mourn the loss"
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"of this exclusive private green space"
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"and Ramon's famous Bloody Marys."
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"He uses a golf tee as an olive skewer."
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"I think it's Ramon."
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"I finally found something I'm good at,"
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"You don't know what it's like to bring something into this world,"
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"watch it grow and worry about it day and night."
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"I love you, Wad."
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"We're going shopping for rubber bands."
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"You deserve it!"
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"Simpson, report to the first tee."
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"You're going to the show."
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"Yes!"
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"Tell Tetsuo he's fired."
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"Mr. Club President?"
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"I'm sorry, for a second there,"
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"I mistook you for a young Pierce Brosnan."
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"Ha!"
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"Spare me, kid. I've heard it all."
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"Simpson, your mother's campaign is going to bankrupt this club."
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"I need you to convince her to call it off."
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"Oh, I am trying."
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"Why are charities and churches"
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"the only ones that don't have to pay taxes?"
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"It's preposterous."
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"Yeah, man, this place is better than any church."
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"people are always shouting out the Lord's name"
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"and, instead of wafers and wine,"
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"you get club sandwiches and scotch in a plastic cup!"
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"As of today, the sport of golf"
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"is officially declared a religion."
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"The Springfield Junipers Golf Club"
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"is now a house of worship."
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"Like all religions, golf will be completely tax‐exempt,"
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"adhering to the core American credo"
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"that churches rake it in but pay nothing."
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"May Golf have mercy on us all."
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"Mm."
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"Thank you for coming, Your Holinesses."
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"Once you see how these golfers"
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"are cheapening the whole idea of religion,"
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"you'll put an end to this sham."
The Simpsons (1989)
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