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Clips from Family Guy - The 2,000-Year-Old Virgin (S13E13)

"It didn't?"
Family Guy
"Not that I wasn't tempted."
Family Guy
"which was about the classiest, sexiest thing I'd ever seen."
Family Guy
"But..."
Family Guy
"I couldn't go through with it."
Family Guy
"But you! You're a liar, Jesus!"
Family Guy
"Bravo, Peter, Lois."
Family Guy
"Seems like you folks learned the lesson I intended."
Family Guy
"What lesson?"
Family Guy
"that, uh, this holiest of days is about,"
Family Guy
"our loved ones and, uh, resisting... temptation."
Family Guy
"Oh, so it was a test."
Family Guy
"Yes! That!"
Family Guy
"That's exactly right!"
Family Guy
"Uh, well, I can see my work here is done."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I guess. Who cares?"
Family Guy
"Me, too, Peter."
Family Guy
"Now let's open your presents, kids."
Family Guy
"Oh, Rupert, you're such a sneak."
Family Guy
"I wonder what it is."
Family Guy
""To continue your emotional education.""
Family Guy
"That's great."
Family Guy
"That's really great."
Family Guy
"* I've looked at clouds from both sides now... *"
Family Guy
"Oh, I love shopping at Christmastime."
Family Guy
"Ugh, mall food courts are so depressing."
Family Guy
"I want to go live with Mom."
Family Guy
"Hey, sorry to bother you, but would you like to work here?"
Family Guy
"Oh, hey, guys."
Family Guy
"You requested a variance to build a hot tub off your garage."
Family Guy
"I'm so glad there's no hard feelings."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I don't have any cash, but we'll figure it out."
Family Guy
"Mi casa es, uh..."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I know it's nothing fancy,"
Family Guy
"isn't your birthday sometime soon, too?"
Family Guy
"I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy."
Family Guy
"It's not like I'm a woman who's about to turn 30."
Family Guy
"I don't care that your dad's dying,"
Family Guy
"Jesus, what kind of girls do you like?"
Family Guy
"Even Martin Lawrence when he used to dress up like Shenehneh?"
Family Guy
"They come back to your house and sit on your... butt."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute."
Family Guy
"Are you... are you a virgin?"
Family Guy
"Stay out of this, Joe."
Family Guy
"God, I love sex!"
Family Guy
"All right? So, we got to get you on Facebook."
Family Guy
"Peter, how old is that girl?"
Family Guy
"Jewish guys are supposed to be swimming in tail."
Family Guy
"so he knows what a woman really wants."
Family Guy
"Well, Peter's been doing his best,"
Family Guy
"and you got nice skin."
Family Guy
"We just got to be more creative about getting Jesus laid."
Family Guy
"I've found the woman who I'd like to lose my virginity to."
Family Guy
"Look, Peter, I know it's a lot to ask."
Family Guy
"He's a savior."
Family Guy
"Huh, I don't know."
Family Guy
"Elizabeth Perkins, Patricia Richardson, Katey Sagal..."
Family Guy
"You sure about this, Peter?"
Family Guy
"Hi, Peter."
Family Guy
"* And I just can't contain... *"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, I was just coming down the stairs"
Family Guy
"so she won't have to deal with that nonsense."
Family Guy
"I've only grazed it once and that was with a running start."
Family Guy
"He did the same thing to me last Christmas."
Family Guy
"to my wife Christmas before last"
Family Guy
"But he's so lonely."
Family Guy
"* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *"
Family Guy
"How's that food, dum-dum?"
Family Guy
"Whoa, yeah, wow."
Family Guy
"spend his birthday like that."
Family Guy
"we haven't even talked about the most important thing."
Family Guy
"Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird."
Family Guy
"No! Pizza!"
Family Guy
"She's almost ready."
Family Guy
"Hey, kid, I need that toboggan!"
Family Guy
"And those Spider-Man mittens... I'll need those, too."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna let that teddy bear go all the way."
Family Guy
"* Lucky there's a family guy *"
Family Guy
"We really want to thank you, God, for testing us."
Family Guy
"Sorry, I was up late last night."
Family Guy
"* There she goes again *"
Family Guy
"* Laugh and cry *"
Family Guy
"That's always fun."
Family Guy
"as special and memorable as it should be."
Family Guy
"Hey, Jerome, give me another Pawtucket Pat."
Family Guy
"He put actual strawberries in a glass of champagne,"
Family Guy
"Could you excuse me for just one moment?"
Family Guy
"Sir, what you're describing is precisely Mr. Bahama's vision."
Family Guy
"maybe we could make it, like, a Christmas theme."
Family Guy
"You just have to be yourself"
Family Guy
"Absolutely."
Family Guy
"Hey, you know what?"
Family Guy
"* There she goes *"
Family Guy
"Jesus Christ is gonna have sex with my wife!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I'm great at throwing parties."
Family Guy
"Actually, I never left."
Family Guy
"Don't look! Don't look! Don't look!"
Family Guy
"I want to kill these cops!"
Family Guy
"Lois."
Family Guy
"Ah, time for a relaxing, sponsored daydream."
Family Guy
"Here, take the car! Take the car!"
Family Guy
"You there! Boy!"
Family Guy
"What room is Lenny Kravitz in?"
Family Guy
"Lois! Lois!"
Family Guy
"Well, Lois, I'm sure glad"
Family Guy
"at the same time."
Family Guy
"Well, we know he's circumcised,"
Family Guy
"I love you, Lois."
Family Guy
"* It seems today that all you see *"
Family Guy
"It's a living."
Family Guy
"God, I have the best basement."
Family Guy
"Ah, I love this chair."
Family Guy
"I will kill your son!"
Family Guy
"You guys, I don't care what we do for my birthday,"
Family Guy
"A hydration plan for people who overheat?"
Family Guy
"Well, in high school, my best friend was this hot prostitute,"
Family Guy
"lecturing people on how to act?"
Family Guy
"Sorry. Sorry."
Family Guy
"You're sensitive,"
Family Guy
"It's someone who understands me"
Family Guy
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