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Clips from South Park - Cripple Fight (S05E05)

"I guess I was Plan B."
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"How about Jimmy Stewart?"
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""Merry Christmas, movie house." And John Travolta."
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""Oh, my God, Mr. Kotter. Mr. Kotter. Oh, my God, Mr. Kotter.""
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"Yeah, well, he's the coolest kid with disabilities"
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"in the world!"
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"- Kenny, it's 9:00. - Come on, Stanley."
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"Guess we're out of time, kids."
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"Now, tomorrow you all have bake sales"
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"in your respective neighbourhoods to raise money."
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"We'll meet back here next Tuesday,"
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"and see who raised the most. Good luck!"
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"Why don't we see if Jimmy wants to come be in our Scout club?"
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"- Hey, yeah. - Timmy, Timmy."
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"Jeez, sure, that'd be great. Thanks, fellas."
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"- Come on, Stan. - Bye, Big Gay Al. We had a great time."
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"- Yeah, thanks. - Bye, Jimmy."
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"See you tomorrow at the bake sale, fellas."
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"You were right, Dad. Scouts is awesome."
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"- Yeah! - We told ghost stories"
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"and learned how to make a tornado in a glass bottle."
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"Yeah, and we learned how to make cakes and muffins for our bake sale."
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"And, best of all, we met this kid named Jimmy."
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"Cartman, don't say "use him", you big silly goose."
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"What did you say?"
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"I just called Cartman a name. He's a silly goose."
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"You do not say "big silly goose"!"
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"You call him an asshole like a normal kid."
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"Stanley, you call your friend an asshole this instant!"
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"Asshole."
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"That's better."
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"Don't call me asshole, you son of a bitch."
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"Hello? We are having a bake sale to raise money"
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"And now, for your entertainment,"
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"our new best friend, stand-up comic Jimmy!"
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"Wow, what a great audience. I just flew into South Park."
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"Boy, are my crutches tired."
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"What a terrific audience."
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"You know, people sometimes ask me,"
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""Are you angry at God for making disabled people?""
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"I say, "No, I think the world is better with President Bush.""
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"What a brave little boy."
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"He's able to use comedy to overcome his handicap! I love him!"
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"Timmy."
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"Well, I sure have met a lot of interesting people"
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"here in South Park. How about that Eric Cartman kid, huh?"
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"- I don't sound like that. - And how about that school counsellor?"
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""Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad, okay. Drugs are bad, okay. Okay.""
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"Wow, what a great audience. "Mr Hat, be quiet, Mr. Hat!"
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""Mr... Hello there, children... Mr. Hat. Hello... Mr. Hat.""
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""I'm making Salisbury steak for lunch. Salisbury steak for lunch.""
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""God damn it, God damn it!""
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"And of course, my very favourite, "Timmy!""
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""Timmy! I'm living a lie, I'm living a lie, Timmy!"
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""Timmy, I'm living a lie! Timmy!""
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"Sometimes it's like, "Please, Timmy, learn a new word.""
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""Timmy! Timmy!""
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"Wow, looks like when it comes to comedy, I really take the..."
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"Jimmy! Jimmy!"
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"from concerned parents about him."
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"- I'm afraid we don't have a choice. - Hiya, fellas!"
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"- How are you today, Scout? - I'm super! Thanks for asking."
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"The troops are off having bake sales and I'm pleased to report"
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"that we have already raised over $600 for the event. Yippee!"
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"Big Gay Al, it has recently come to our attention that you are gay."
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"Well, stop the presses! You figure that out all by yourself, silly buns?"
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"Yes, well, unfortunately for you, the Scouts have a policy"
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"We are left with no options, Mr. Al. I'm afraid you are hereby out of Scouts."
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"- Out of Scouts? - We're sorry, Mr. Gay Al."
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"But I've been in Scouts since I was nine. It's a huge part of my life."
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"You must understand that Scouts is a private club."
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"A club that follows certain beliefs"
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"and one of those beliefs is that homosexuality is immoral."
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"- I see. - It's nothing against you, personally."
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"What if I promise not to be gay any more? Pinkie swear!"
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"Oh, hey, Timmy. I'm glad you called, very much."
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"I've been detecting some animosity towards me lately"
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"- I live a lie. Timmy. - A present? You got me a present?"
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"Timmy."
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"Gee, you didn't have to do that."
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"I mean, I understand why you'd be jealous of my talents."
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"Wow, a parka! You didn't have to do that, Tim-Tim."
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"- Tim, Timmy. - Sure, I'll see if it fits."
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"This is very warm. Thanks a lot, Tim-Tim."
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"Well, I'll see you around."
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"Timmy."
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"Thanks again, Tim-Tim."
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"Tim-Timmy!"
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"Bye, Scouts."
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"You asked me to come over and play sad songs for you to pack to"
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"- And then you yell at me! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
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"But now I've packed everything away, so just play something uplifting, like"
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""I'm-Gonna-Put-All-This-Behind-Me- and-Make-it-Okay" music."
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"Oh, I don't want her You can have her"
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"She's too fat for me"
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"Oh, Jesus, Marc."
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"He will be taking over for the homosexual."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"Marsh, right? We actually kind of know each other."
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"Carol is the head of a girls' Mountain Scouts troop."
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"Well, I guess we're off to the bar until 9:00, then."
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"Timmy, ladies and gentlemen! Let's all give him a hand, very much."
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"Come to think of it, give him a pair of legs, too!"
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"Here, Timmy. Put on this silly hat."
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"- Hey, don't push me! - Timmy!"
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"Cripple fight!"
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"That is enough, Scouts! Take your seats!"
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"All right, Scouts!"
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"I am your new Scout Master, Mr. Grasier!"
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"in all of Colorado. Isn't that right?"
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"When I ask you a question, you will answer,"
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"- Yes, Scout Master! - Good."
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"Now, the first activity for this evening will be naked pictures."
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"I'm going to take some pictures of each of you naked,"
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"in case we need them for later."
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"Oh, what is this? If there's one thing I hate, it's a whining platoon."
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""We don't want to do push-ups. We don't want to get up early."
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""We don't want to have you take naked pictures of us!""
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"- Man, this guy sucks! - Now, fall in and strip down, Scouts!"
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"All right, Scouts, we're gonna end this meeting with a little puppet show."
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