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Clips from 30 Rock - Christmas Special (S03E03)

"Everybody here chipped in to get Sue a bra."
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"because Christmas is a time of giving."
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"Ugh!"
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"I hope it's not seasonal."
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"That kid's never gonna be a doctor."
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"Better buy it a jet ski."
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"I'm free, Lemon."
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"I ducked down to Florida for a surprise early Christmas."
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"I showed up three days early, showered my mom with gifts."
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"Fly to Rio, tan in the nude, bet on some monkey wrestling."
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"Mother!"
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"What?! Oh my God! Is she --"
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"She's fine. She's better than fine."
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"It's only going to make her more powerful!"
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"Well, are you okay?"
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"If you need something just call down to the doorman."
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"Yes, he does speak English, mother. Jamaican people speak Eng--"
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"You know, I was just thinking in the shower this morning,"
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"-- before someone recognizes me."
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"have a wonderful Christmas."
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"Are you really gonna wrap all these presents?"
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"the theme of which is "Sexy at 70"."
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"which is racist on my part, but still, best Christmas ever!"
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"I came back from the front door?"
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"So good of you to come see me."
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"was an accident."
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"And I don't want to hear another word about it."
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"that Jackie gave me early this year for Christmas."
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"Ho, ho, ho."
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"that I wanted."
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"It's not just that."
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"I waited eight minutes."
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"What kind of son does that to his mother?"
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"What are you two girls whispering about?!"
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"Those are gonna be the happiest poor kids"
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"Oh, no, I'm takin' it up there personally."
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"Kwanzaa."
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"Guys, we are outta here in five, four, three, two..."
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"Brainstorming session! Go!"
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"I don't want to do this."
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"Mr. Donaghy, as leader of this group, I have to put my foot down."
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"Christmas is a sacred time for me and my surrogate family."
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"Yes, sir. I never liked that group. Sorry."
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"Thank you so much for carrying that,"
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"I will buy you guys dinner later."
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"Liz, we both have girlfriends."
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"I'm serious, that was very helpful."
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"Oh..."
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"So what? We're giving America the perfect Christmas, Pete."
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"There are kids out there who never get that."
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"Colleen would bring her "friend" Mr. Schwarz over for dinner"
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"and she'd make me play songs on the piano when she would sing to him."
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"Every year the dreadful moment arrived"
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"when I would catch Mr. Schwarz caressing my mother's bony thigh."
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"I have to go to the prop meeting, now."
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"Approved!"
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"Ah!"
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"Next."
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"Yes. Finally. Hi. I would like to speak to whoever screens the "Letters to Santa"."
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"Then you better talk to that box."
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"I would like to access any census information you have for this address."
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"In addition, I would like to speak to the letter carrier..."
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"Hey, Irene!"
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"Hey, you don't know the Postmaster General do you?"
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"My other hip!"
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"Fifty ruined Christmases. I want to be free."
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"You see, Lemon, my mother is a virus and my body is trying to get rid of her."
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"Hey, the candy canes are for the show."
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"I'll tell you how it went."
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"They scammed me and now they're selling that stuff on eBay."
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"Well, if all you want is a hug from a black person"
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"And you're acting like a real C word right now."
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"All right, I'll call Grizz and Dotcom. I'm sure they're not doin' anything."
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"Exhibit B!"
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"Sixteen minus eight is eight!"
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"No. Children live here, I know it."
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"And you got the presents? There are presents under the tree?"
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"I did that! I got that stuff for you!"
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"Do you know your mother is here?"
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"I don't care. I'm trying to produce a Christmas special"
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"Did your mother not do that?"
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"Yes, it is."
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"No, Christmas in the Donaghy house was awful."
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"I know you guys were pretty poor. Did you have a lot of presents?"
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"Our first guest has sung with everyone from Paul Anka to Crocodile Dundee."
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"Cross the piano!"
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"Ladies and gentlemen, Jenna Maroney!"
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"# And folks dressed up like eskimos?"
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"# To see if reindeer really know how to fly?"
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"# And so I'm offering this simple phrase?"
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"You're flat Jack."
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"Merry almost Christmas, everybody."
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"I have some great news. We are all getting--"
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"Frozen steaks!"
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"iPod Nothings!"
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"Colorful sweaters!"
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"Nope. Better."
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"We are getting to participate in a charity program called "Letters to Santa"."
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"No, this is great."
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"The Post Office collects letters that poor children write to Santa"
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"and then we go buy them what they ask for."
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"Nice!"
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"Come on, nobody but me's gonna do this?"
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"Well, I for one think it's a great idea"
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"Are you drunk?"
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"On "The Spirit of Christmas"."
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"I'll take one, Miss Lemon. I love helping people less fortunate than me."
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"Where do you find them?"
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"There are these Nigerians on the internet that help me."
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"Listen to this. "Dear Santa, my name is Chanel Jenkins."
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"I would like some new shoes so I can walk to school."
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"My dream is to be a doctor someday --""
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"This is what the holidays are all about."
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"Hello?"
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"Where are you? I hear sunshine."
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"She called them all adequate. It's a Christmas miracle!"
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"Just like Norman Rockwell always drew it. Well, have a good flight."
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"I could fly there without a plane."
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"Hey, Toofer, can I buy a kid FUBU? Is that a swear word?"
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"Okay, while FUBU is not in itself profane, I do think that--"
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