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Clips from Family Guy - Chitty Chitty Death Bang (S01E01)

"You know what's nice? Having a friend like Meg. And kittens."
Family Guy
"It was super swell meeting you. Bye, Meg. Friends forever."
Family Guy
"Forever and ever."
Family Guy
"Wow! What a great yard!"
Family Guy
"Guess what, Mom? Jennifer invited me to a party on Saturday."
Family Guy
"But Mom..."
Family Guy
"I can't believe you'd put your family before your own daughter!"
Family Guy
"She's a whiny little runt, isn't she?"
Family Guy
"I said "runt. ""
Family Guy
"I don't think I'm in the right place."
Family Guy
"I'm looking for a guy to entertain the kids at my son's birthday."
Family Guy
"Sure. I can do that."
Family Guy
"I can make pretend like the children are little bugs in my web."
Family Guy
"Do you know your phone number, son?"
Family Guy
"The only way you'll get me to talk is through slow, painful torture."
Family Guy
"You know, son, running away never solves anything."
Family Guy
"And part of growing up means facing your problems head on."
Family Guy
"The ruptured capillaries in your nose belie the clarity of your wisdom."
Family Guy
"...as you spend the next 10 years in frozen carbonite!"
Family Guy
"Peter, you've only got a couple of hours left."
Family Guy
"If you pull a party out of your ass, you'll want to stand up."
Family Guy
"My friend Jennifer invited me to hang out with her friends."
Family Guy
"Can I go?"
Family Guy
"I won't fall for this trick. Did you ask your mother?"
Family Guy
"Yes."
Family Guy
"I sure hope candy comes out of that."
Family Guy
"I'll never be able to face Lois."
Family Guy
"The circus!"
Family Guy
"Hi. This is the right day, isn't it?"
Family Guy
"Oh, yes. Peter should be back any minute..."
Family Guy
"...and then we can start the party, I hope."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, look. The two symbols of the Republican party..."
Family Guy
"...an elephant and a big fat white guy who's threatened by change."
Family Guy
"Peter, this is the most wonderful celebration I could have imagined."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Where's Stewie?"
Family Guy
"He's upstairs, resting up for his big day."
Family Guy
"Meg's not here. She went to a friend's house."
Family Guy
"What? She's gonna miss Stewie's birthday."
Family Guy
"I dropped her off an hour ago. Boy, is she gonna be sorry, or what?"
Family Guy
"Peter. How could you let her go?"
Family Guy
"What's the big deal? So Meg's with her new friends."
Family Guy
"They seemed like some nice kids."
Family Guy
"I'm glad you could join us. We're gonna have a great time on our trip."
Family Guy
"A trip? Like to the beach? Because I didn't bring my swimsuit."
Family Guy
"You won't need anything where we're going."
Family Guy
"Birthday dude? Do you want some ice cream?"
Family Guy
"Yes. But no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!"
Family Guy
"Come on, Lois. I hate to see you so upset."
Family Guy
"We got animals. We got clowns."
Family Guy
"I mean, a party couldn't be any better if Jesus himself showed up."
Family Guy
"Okay, everybody. For my next miracle, I'm gonna turn water into funk."
Family Guy
"We're also celebrating the day our family became whole."
Family Guy
"Meg, you seem sad. Today's a happy day."
Family Guy
"I know. It's just that I really like that guy over there."
Family Guy
"Then what is it?"
Family Guy
"- He's a eunuch. - Really?"
Family Guy
"Sure. All the guys here have been castrated."
Family Guy
"It's cool."
Family Guy
"- Do you think that girl is hot? - No."
Family Guy
"Me neither."
Family Guy
"Hey, you. Hit me."
Family Guy
"There. Now, if I can just find a midget with some gin, I'll be in business."
Family Guy
"Where are you off to?"
Family Guy
"I gotta make things right for Lois and get this monkey off my back."
Family Guy
"Ow! Knock it off!"
Family Guy
"All right, men, the man in white is coming to put me back in the womb."
Family Guy
"I know that for some of you, your motor skills are not developed."
Family Guy
"Sadly, you will be used as decoys."
Family Guy
"But your children's children will know that you fell for a noble cause."
Family Guy
"Now, who's with me?"
Family Guy
"Duckie?"
Family Guy
"Useless, every one of you! Fine."
Family Guy
"I'll defend myself, and the hell with all of you!"
Family Guy
"There, I've gone and soiled myself. Are you happy now?"
Family Guy
"My children, rejoice. The hour of transformation is close at hand."
Family Guy
"Who are you?"
Family Guy
"Perhaps. Do you have a mind that seeks enlightenment..."
Family Guy
"...and a heart that seeks purity?"
Family Guy
"Okay. Are you a confused adolescent desperately seeking acceptance..."
Family Guy
"...from an undifferentiated ego mass that demands conformity?"
Family Guy
"Wow, that sort of sounds more like me."
Family Guy
"Great! Then all you need is a dark-blue jogging suit."
Family Guy
"What are you? About a 9?"
Family Guy
"No. A 6."
Family Guy
"Right. Dispense the refreshments."
Family Guy
"Meg, there you are."
Family Guy
"Dad, what are you doing here? I'm so embarrassed, I could die!"
Family Guy
"Not before the rest of us!"
Family Guy
"It's just Stewie's birthday. So what if I'm not there?"
Family Guy
"Who's gonna remember?"
Family Guy
"In fact, she always says the best memories she has are when you kids were born."
Family Guy
"Meg, that's it. This day is more for your mom than it is for Stewie."
Family Guy
"And, Meg, today she wants you to be with the family."
Family Guy
"Really?"
Family Guy
"Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever."
Family Guy
"I miss my mom. Me, too."
Family Guy
"I also miss my nads."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, can we come to Stewie's party, too?"
Family Guy
"Sure. The more the merrier."
Family Guy
"Meg, you have the coolest family."
Family Guy
"She sure does."
Family Guy
"Here's to family!"
Family Guy
"To family!"
Family Guy
"Jeez, look at the time! Come on."
Family Guy
"Come on, kids. Let's get going."
Family Guy
"For the love of God. Haven't any of you ever been in a cult before?"
Family Guy
"Damn it! I can't achieve transcendence by myself."
Family Guy
"That would just make me some kind of lone nut."
Family Guy
"Somebody's got to die with me."
Family Guy
"Come back, Meg!"
Family Guy
"Whoops. Can't forget my ceremonial white robe."
Family Guy
"I guess there's nothing left but the birthday cake."
Family Guy
"Meg!"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, Mom."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Peter."
Family Guy
"No problem. I cannot wait to taste this cake."
Family Guy
"The guy who sold it to me said it was delicious and erotic."
Family Guy
"Peter, there's a naked man on this cake."
Family Guy
"There were only two left."
Family Guy
"And trust me, you did not want the one of Al Roker with the Hershey Kiss nipples."
Family Guy
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