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Clips from Family Guy - Chitty Chitty Death Bang (S01E01)

""all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Everything's all set for Stewie's birthday party."
Family Guy
"I can't believe he's almost a year old."
Family Guy
"Yeah. I'll never forget the day he was born."
Family Guy
"Congratulations. It's a boy."
Family Guy
"...at Cheesie Charlie's."
Family Guy
"I win every time! I get to go, right?"
Family Guy
"Peter, this could be our last first birthday ever."
Family Guy
"Her first words?"
Family Guy
"Then she stood up by herself and started walking!"
Family Guy
"- Her first steps? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"It's your birthday, dude."
Family Guy
"Saturday's gonna be real special, honey."
Family Guy
"I've hired a professional to make sure everything goes just right."
Family Guy
"A professional? There's treachery afoot!"
Family Guy
"Meg, you're home late."
Family Guy
"From the top, people! Why don't you just hang back and stretch?"
Family Guy
"Listen. You're a one-of-a-kind girl with a mind of her own."
Family Guy
"- Meg and I had a little father-daughter talk. - It seems to have worked."
Family Guy
"Well, you're the number-one husband, too."
Family Guy
""... I developed at testicular boot camp. But it was a trap!"
Family Guy
""I was imprisoned in that uterine gulag for nine grueling months. ""
Family Guy
"I'm up to 11."
Family Guy
""I was quite sure that soon I would be dead."
Family Guy
"He failed to thwart my escape into the outside world."
Family Guy
"I'm Meg."
Family Guy
"Now, Chris, we're not here for fun."
Family Guy
"That's mine. Come on. Come on, give that back!"
Family Guy
"I'm a paying customer."
Family Guy
"We're really looking forward to Stewie's special day."
Family Guy
"Wait. I was just bluffing. My wife has her heart set on this place."
Family Guy
"Here we are. "Come to Managua, the Mecca of mercenaries. ""
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"I was sent by my smart, beautiful, and still sexually appealing wife, Lois."
Family Guy
"Yes. We're all set for your little boy's party."
Family Guy
"They also get food, cake, and your choice of ice-cream flavors..."
Family Guy
"...vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, or people."
Family Guy
"Bravo, Peter. You are the Spalding Gray of crap."
Family Guy
"I had to book it the day of my ultrasound."
Family Guy
"- You got all those things? - You bet I did."
Family Guy
"Even Cheesie Charlie's doesn't have a petting zoo."
Family Guy
"Okay, I'll call the parents and let them know the party's here."
Family Guy
"- You don't have any of those things. - How do you know?"
Family Guy
"It was you."
Family Guy
"Hey there, little boy. Are you lost?"
Family Guy
"I've got an army to raise, and I must get to Nicaragua."
Family Guy
"Damn you! You're one of them, aren't you?"
Family Guy
"What are they paying you? I'll double it!"
Family Guy
"I'll give you whatever you want! Money! Women! Men?"
Family Guy
"Crafty swine."
Family Guy
"UPS."
Family Guy
"Hi, Mom. This is Jennifer. She gave me a ride home."
Family Guy
"This Saturday? Meg, you can't miss Stewie's first birthday."
Family Guy
"Meg, our entire family is going to be here for Stewie's party."
Family Guy
"You do children's parties?"
Family Guy
"Yeah. I can do, like, a handstand, and some somersaults maybe."
Family Guy
"It sounds like you don't want to go home. Are you running away?"
Family Guy
"Stewart Gilligan Griffin runs from nothing!"
Family Guy
"You're getting to be a big boy now."
Family Guy
"You're saying I must return to face this man in white myself. So be it."
Family Guy
"As for you, kind sage, I only hope my heartfelt thanks will keep you warm..."
Family Guy
"Okay, then. Have fun, sweetheart."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Daddy!"
Family Guy
"Brian, Stewie's birthday is gonna suck."
Family Guy
"Face it, Brian. I'm a bad father, a lousy husband, and a snappy dresser."
Family Guy
"I'll get him. If you see Meg, tell her to take plenty of pictures."
Family Guy
"Today means nothing if Meg isn't here."
Family Guy
"But he doesn't even know I exist. He must think I'm a total dog."
Family Guy
"That is so not true."
Family Guy
"Today he comes for me, but tomorrow it could be you or you!"
Family Guy
"I offer you the opportunity to join me in glorious battle."
Family Guy
"Our leader is here to take us on our journey!"
Family Guy
"This is Meg, wise one. Can she come with us?"
Family Guy
"Not really."
Family Guy
"Let's see what we have in stock."
Family Guy
"Meg, your mother wants the family together today."
Family Guy
"Your mom will, trust me. She remembers everything."
Family Guy
"With all she's given us, she oughta get whatever she wants."
Family Guy
"No you're not, honey. What about that fat girl from the Judds?"
Family Guy
"Sorry, Meg."
Family Guy
"It's another bunch of people that'd rather fake death..."
Family Guy
"...than go to a party with you."
Family Guy
"Children, the time of ascension has arrived."
Family Guy
"Right here!"
Family Guy
"Peek-a-boo! I see you!"
Family Guy
"Freedom! What do you want?"
Family Guy
"I want to get the hell out of here!"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. We're fresh out of that. I'm afraid all that's left is untimely death."
Family Guy
"It's a boy!"
Family Guy
"Yeah. Where is the birthday boy?"
Family Guy
"That's right, little buddy. What do you want most in the whole world?"
Family Guy
"And I don't think you've got the grapes!"
Family Guy
"Excuse me. I've gotta go mix the punch."
Family Guy
"Peter, the circus is terrific. But it's not just Stewie's birthday."
Family Guy
"- How could you? - Lois, I got a very good reason."
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad, they even got games in the bathroom. Look, I won a balloon!"
Family Guy
""is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""on which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you"
Family Guy
""laugh 'n' cry"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy""
Family Guy
"One more push, Lois."
Family Guy
"This is a miracle, Mr. Griffin. Would you like to see?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I've never actually seen a baby being... Oh, God!"
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. I don't think we're through."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! Is it twins?"
Family Guy
"No. It's a map of Europe."
Family Guy
"I confirmed everything with the birthday party planner..."
Family Guy
"- Why Cheesie Charlie's? - It's cool, Dad."
Family Guy
"They have this game where you put in a dollar and you win four quarters!"
Family Guy
"Why can't we have the same kind of party we always do?"
Family Guy
"When Meg and Chris turned one, I had so much to do, I missed everything."
Family Guy
"Lois, you won't believe this! Meg just said "Da-Da!""
Family Guy
"What the hell are you doing in here anyway?"
Family Guy
"All right! Her first drum solo."
Family Guy
"Thanks to Cheesie Charlie..."
Family Guy
"...I'm not gonna miss a moment of Stewie's party."
Family Guy
"I say, am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces?"
Family Guy
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