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Clips from Family Guy - The Son Also Draws (S01E01)

"What you saw was actually a very beautiful thing."
Family Guy
"Stewie, mommies and daddies like to hug each other that way."
Family Guy
"Get out, you horrid woman!"
Family Guy
"Okay, honey. l'll go get your teddy bear."
Family Guy
"''all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"''He's a family guy''"
Family Guy
"Thank you, sir!"
Family Guy
"...as a reward for all your obedience."
Family Guy
"Mom, Dad, I reaIIy Iike Potsie."
Family Guy
"Dad, what would you say if l told you l didn't want to be in the Scouts?"
Family Guy
"And you know what that means? That means l love you."
Family Guy
"Chris, get out of here! You're not allowed in my room."
Family Guy
"l can't. l don't want to disappoint him again."
Family Guy
"Wait a second! Your ass just sneezed! And horses can't talk! No!"
Family Guy
"Okay, look. Dad is really easy. All you have to do is sit on his lap..."
Family Guy
"...give him a big kiss on the cheek, look him right in the eye, and he's butter."
Family Guy
"Your boy is out of the Scouts!"
Family Guy
"Jell-O. How exotic! l feel like l'm on the deck of the QE II."
Family Guy
"But what l can cook up is a little grace and civility at the table."
Family Guy
"They made me turn in my uniform and everything."
Family Guy
"lt's okay, Dad. l'm not really--"
Family Guy
"Pack your bags, you guys! The Griffins are hitting the Big Apple!"
Family Guy
"Aren't you coming?"
Family Guy
"After years of study, I've discovered the secret to Ionger Iife in canines."
Family Guy
"And that secret is--"
Family Guy
"Damn it, JuIie. I'm a singIe mother doing the best damn job she knows how!"
Family Guy
"I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago!"
Family Guy
"And by ''the thing between your knees, '' I...."
Family Guy
"Would you please ask for directions?"
Family Guy
"We are not lost. And even if we were..."
Family Guy
"-What was that? -Nothing."
Family Guy
"You're wrong again, Lois. That wasn't the car."
Family Guy
"Although you were right about that prune smoothie."
Family Guy
"l'll be fine. l just have to concentrate on driving."
Family Guy
"l'm gonna ask someone for directions. Meg, watch Stewie."
Family Guy
"Don't you want to play first?"
Family Guy
"Over there."
Family Guy
"l sort of bet our car."
Family Guy
"...and find a high roller who'll pay $1 million to sleep with my wife."
Family Guy
"These people took $24 for the island of Manhattan."
Family Guy
"We gotta figure out a way to get to New York..."
Family Guy
"But Dad--"
Family Guy
"I am just going away for the weekend."
Family Guy
"No answer at the house. You didn't bet that, too, did you?"
Family Guy
"Everyone in the tribe gets a share in the casino's profits."
Family Guy
"-Before that. -''Everyone in the tribe.''"
Family Guy
"l think you can make an exception in our case, Lenny. See, l'm an lndian, too."
Family Guy
"LENNY AND LOlS: Excuse me?"
Family Guy
"You heard me. l'm a member of your tribe."
Family Guy
"And that entitles me to a share of your wampum, kemosabe."
Family Guy
"He could just be another moocher."
Family Guy
"Do you know what a vision quest is?"
Family Guy
"She's a little slow in the head."
Family Guy
"Your husband must go out in the wilderness without food or water."
Family Guy
"-Or shoes. -Yeah. Or shoes."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Brian. There's a message in my Alpha Bits."
Family Guy
"lt says ''Ooooo.''"
Family Guy
"Dad, can l come?"
Family Guy
"Now get the hell out of here, you nut, and go have yourself a spiritual vision."
Family Guy
"lt depends on the person's age, and height, and sign."
Family Guy
"You have no idea, do you?"
Family Guy
"They're dead, you know."
Family Guy
"Wonder if club-footed midgets get justice in heaven."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Are you kidding? Scott fell last week."
Family Guy
"FONZlE: Yo, Griffin!"
Family Guy
"l want to lay a little personal truth on you."
Family Guy
"-l guess you're pretty disappointed in me. -Yeah!"
Family Guy
"-You mean play the piano? -No. She.... Yeah."
Family Guy
"l probably don't say this often enough."
Family Guy
"Really? What's the Fonz like? l bet he's stuck up."
Family Guy
"A little. But thanks to him, me and Chris have never been closer."
Family Guy
"-But what is the price of our souls? -$6 million a week."
Family Guy
"That sounds right. Take your crappy car back."
Family Guy
"Good Lord. You saw them together, didn't you?"
Family Guy
"Clear!"
Family Guy
"Those Scouts are never gonna know what hit them."
Family Guy
"Yeah. But l'm your spiritual guide, see?"
Family Guy
"''And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon"
Family Guy
"Fire!"
Family Guy
"Blasted matriarch!"
Family Guy
"She has failed once again to replenish this frigid box with potations."
Family Guy
"l shall give her a piece of my mind!"
Family Guy
"Damn it!"
Family Guy
"Now look here, you.... Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Now you shouldn't be frightened, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Evidently, madam, you and l differ greatly in our conception of beauty."
Family Guy
"What l just witnessed was ghastlier than a thousand ghouls!"
Family Guy
"ln fact, sweetie, that's sort of how you were created."
Family Guy
"That is a vile and odious lie!"
Family Guy
"How dare you fill my head with such loathsome propaganda?"
Family Guy
"You know the tub where you take your little baths?"
Family Guy
"They've done it there, too."
Family Guy
"LOlS: ''lt seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"''is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"''But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"''on which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"''Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
"''Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you"
Family Guy
"''laugh 'n' cry"
Family Guy
"What in the name of our Christian God? You're out of the semicircle!"
Family Guy
"All Scouts have to sit in the semicircle!"
Family Guy
"Why?"
Family Guy
"Why? Saunders, tell him why!"
Family Guy
"Because it's Rule 142-B!"
Family Guy
"Because it's Rule 142-B!"
Family Guy
"Good job, Scout. Now drop and give me 20!"
Family Guy
"Ladies, this Saturday at 0800 there will be a soapbox derby..."
Family Guy
"Why not, dear? Potsie's a very nice boy."
Family Guy
"No, Mom. I mean, I reaIIy Iike Potsie."
Family Guy
"MR. CUNNlNGHAM: We heard you the first time."
Family Guy
"You have a homosexuaI attraction to Potsie."
Family Guy
"Anything on that remote lower than mute?"
Family Guy
"l got a surprise for you, Chris."
Family Guy
"lt'll have to wait. This is where the Fonz goes...."
Family Guy
"Take that, 1950s society! Okay, let's go."
Family Guy
"Chris, this is the speed machine that's gonna win you the soapbox derby."
Family Guy
"But, Dad, l was supposed to build it myself. lt's a rule."
Family Guy
"Come on. Rules were made to be broken."
Family Guy
"Here, let me show you the turbo booster."
Family Guy
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