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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy's Roommate Lemonades! (S03E03)

"It's a parable about free will."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- So, if a perfectly rational donkey... - That's me!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"...gets placed between two identical bales of hay,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"the donkey won't be able to choose one over the other,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and so it will starve to death."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's perfect."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can just starve to death, and I won't have to choose."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But, well, according to Spinoza,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"the donkey isn't actually rational"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because making a choice is a good in itself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"which pizza it's gonna eat."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"In my head, I changed it to pizza. Can I do that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I changed it again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And you play basketball like John Kruk!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but then it turned out to be a cardboard cutout."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You got to get your weight off your back foot."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Told you he was in love with you. - What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I saw the way that boy was looking at you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's crazy. This is just friend stuff."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are you serious right now?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because my French teacher was named Madame Scruggs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't do this to us. Don't do this to yourself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just saying, at some point..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"saying, "Titus, you were right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So now the ball's in your court."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, brother."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Setting pitching style for "Tony Danza.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And by the way, Lillian, you were wrong about college."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's about how I want to live."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I want to learn how to really think."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Just tell us who you voted for."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Well, it's a classic Buridan's Ass. - Thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Spin-Noza? The Sephardic DJ?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Maybe."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And in the end, I trust Lillian to do what's right for this neighborhood."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's a mandate!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"One hundred percent of the vote!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, day one of the Kaushtupper regime..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"get rid of the carriage horses in Central Park."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just hopeless without Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, God, I miss the smell of his one dead tooth"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and how it squishes under my tongue when we kiss."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Blech."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, honey, you're not a dum-dum."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just the baddest bitch in the game."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Come on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm gonna let you buy me a congratulations steak."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And, Kimmy, you are not gonna regret this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm gonna show those fat-cat politicians who's boss!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Gattaca! Gattaca! Gattaca! - Attica! Attica! Attica!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Gattaca! Gattaca!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, you were right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mm-hmm, and also?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Your skin actually does look amazing today,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How did he do it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did he hide a ring in a patty melt?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He tried to fight me, and then halfway through..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Classic! - It doesn't matter, though."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and watch sports with him and, like, touch butts and stuff,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"all in one guy, like some kind of sexy Swiss Army knife."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's crazy, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"with one of those Sex and the City creatures."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll go wherever you want, and we'll be together forever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No! I choose you!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll do whatever you want, and we'll be together forever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't want to lose you. Please, you're the only one for me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did you say "Harvert"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"In a few weeks, we'll be philosophy buddies."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Students."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, well, I won't be here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm transferring to Columbia next semester."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"After busting my ass here for two years, I qualified for a scholarship."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, a little bit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, uh, yeah, it is."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean, Robert Moses is great,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but people come from all over the world to go to Columbia."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You get into a place like Columbia, the world is your oyster."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Pizza, in my mind."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, I am."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Stay cool, Refrigerator."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You could be a... unicorn, if you want."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"accepting the Snyder Foundation's matching funds"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"for the sludge cleanup."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Over my hot body."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"As councilwoman for East Dogmouth,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I say, "Hell, nay.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All those in favor?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Two fire hydrants were recently destroyed"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"by a bat-wielding man in a yellow cape."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What are we doing here? Who are we meeting?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And why wouldn't you tell me in the truck?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Tim! Tim, come here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I want you to meet an old friend of mine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, Mikey, so nice to meet you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And that is the "tooth"!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Orthodontist humor. Sorry. He can't help himself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Roger was my first real boyfriend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"True, true."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, could you guys stay for dinner?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can, Roger, but Mikey has somewhere to be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look around here, Mikey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"a bird pool."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I was so sure he was the only one for me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And if he hadn't set me free to find out,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait, what are you saying?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- And now I need to do the same for you. - No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- You mean "moi"? - Damn you, Madame Scruggs!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's just one of the many small ways in which I am stronger than Beyoncé."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We can't see each other at all?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And if we're meant to be together, then blah, blah, blah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I knew you'd know it was Biz Markie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ From my nest into the sky ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ Broke my wings so you could fly ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ Baby gaybird, I said goodbye ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ Baby gaybird, I said goodbye"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ So sweet and flaky, I could cry ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ This will sound fine to your mind ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ True love is harder And true love is more work than pleasure ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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