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Clips from Scrubs - Our Role Models (S09E09)

"I mean, I am getting older."
Scrubs
"That's what I want to talk to you about, Lucy."
Scrubs
"You need to be prepared for when I leave."
Scrubs
"J. D: Damn it, why bring her to the learning tree"
Scrubs
"if you're not gonna use it in your inspiring talk?"
Scrubs
"My point is, while I'm here, I'm yours, but you also need to branch out."
Scrubs
"Nailed it."
Scrubs
"Don't worry. Before I leaf..."
Scrubs
"You're on fire."
Scrubs
"you're as close to as I am to mine."
Scrubs
"J. D: Speak of the devil."
Scrubs
"Sure, and if we can't find any more climbing trees,"
Scrubs
"we'll just head down to the old swimming hole"
Scrubs
"I assume that's a diss of some sort."
Scrubs
"Oh, snap! That hurt to watch."
Scrubs
"Can't wait to see that on the surveillance tape."
Scrubs
"That's right, we have cameras everywhere."
Scrubs
"We're watching you."
Scrubs
"- Drive. - Copy that."
Scrubs
"Someone strong and not afraid to express emotions."
Scrubs
"Maybe a woman."
Scrubs
"Dr. Mahoney, I was wondering if it would be possible"
Scrubs
"for me to shadow you in the hospital."
Scrubs
"This is not over, you filthy whore."
Scrubs
"No, wait, I forgot, you totally annoy me."
Scrubs
"Is there any way you could instantly change your entire personality?"
Scrubs
"I guess I could try."
Scrubs
"Even the way you said that was irritating."
Scrubs
"Look, I'm not the mentoring type, okay? Go ask Turk."
Scrubs
"I did, but he said, and I'm quoting now,"
Scrubs
""I already have Dr. Bradley all up in my business.""
Scrubs
"Dr. Turk, thanks so much for taking me under your wing."
Scrubs
"It's such a privilege. I feel like I should be paying you something."
Scrubs
"- No, I don't want your money. - Okay. Tearing it up, sir."
Scrubs
"No, don't tear up your money."
Scrubs
"My bad, sir. Taping it up."
Scrubs
"Tom, you're 10 years older than me and you have a wife and kid."
Scrubs
"- Please, have some dignity. - Too late, sir."
Scrubs
"J. D: I wish Dr. Cox had some time for me, but I get it."
Scrubs
"He's a busy man. A very busy man?"
Scrubs
"- Cheers. - Cheers."
Scrubs
"Syhw?"
Scrubs
"It says "why?""
Scrubs
"Cox and I were drinking beer"
Scrubs
"and watching sports, two things you hate."
Scrubs
"First of all, Turk, I've learned to pretend I enjoy beer,"
Scrubs
"and secondly, I love sports."
Scrubs
"- and you cried during it. - If you wanna talk about crying,"
Scrubs
"let's talk about the end of Rudy."
Scrubs
"Hold on, he got on the field at the end of the movie, with his dad in the..."
Scrubs
"You know what? No. No. We're not going there."
Scrubs
"Excuse me, Dr. Dorian, sorry I missed your class."
Scrubs
"Can I get the notes?"
Scrubs
"No. Actually, Drew, you can't."
Scrubs
"And I'm going to e-mail the whole class"
Scrubs
"and ask them not to share their notes with you."
Scrubs
"Then tomorrow, we'll have a quiz on it."
Scrubs
"That seems excessive. But okay. What was the lecture on?"
Scrubs
"- What are you doing? - I know, I know."
Scrubs
"It's just that Cox is draping himself over that kid like a cheap hussy."
Scrubs
"And then I have to find you and Perry canoodling"
Scrubs
"in that sports-themed tavern, pretending you like beer."
Scrubs
"Well, we're not pretending, we actually like beer."
Scrubs
"Oh, stop it, Turk. It's me."
Scrubs
"I just feel like I'm being replaced."
Scrubs
"- Tell me this instant. - Because you're John "Damn" Dorian."
Scrubs
"You're right. I am John "Damn" Dorian."
Scrubs
"You're John "Damn" right you are! Now give me a chest bump!"
Scrubs
"But don't flex, because it'll knock the wind out of me."
Scrubs
"(GRUNTS) See? I can't breathe."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, whitebread. I'm not currently looking for a protege-slash-suck-up."
Scrubs
"If I were sucking up, I would tell you how much I like your shoes."
Scrubs
"Which I do, by the way."
Scrubs
"Like, "Hey, boys, come watch me build a deck.""
Scrubs
"Look, I just really, really want to shadow you. Please?"
Scrubs
"Dr. Mahoney, if you do let me shadow you..."
Scrubs
"How are you feeling today?"
Scrubs
"Well, I have my up days and down days."
Scrubs
"Some weeks I have more up days than down days."
Scrubs
"Like last week, I had four up days, one down day."
Scrubs
"I was like, "Woo hoo, let's have a party!""
Scrubs
"Lucy!"
Scrubs
"You can start shadowing me by hugging Mrs. Maroney."
Scrubs
"Okay, Dr. Mahoney."
Scrubs
"Wait a second. Maroney, Mahoney. That is so funny."
Scrubs
"Yeah, not as I understand funny."
Scrubs
"Take Mrs. Maroney down for her MRI."
Scrubs
"- Can you keep an eye on my son? - Your what?"
Scrubs
"Excuse me."
Scrubs
"Hey, watch a kid for me?"
Scrubs
"- No, I'm afraid of kids. - He's 12."
Scrubs
"I got shot by a 12-year-old at a petting zoo."
Scrubs
"Besides, I gotta change this shirt. The neck's choking me."
Scrubs
"We get it, Drew. You've got a very muscular neck."
Scrubs
"All right, team, this should be fairly straightforward."
Scrubs
"Scalpel."
Scrubs
"Drew's rubbing this T-shirt thing in my face."
Scrubs
"J.D., what the hell? I'm in surgery."
Scrubs
"It's not even the right color for him! He's clearly an autumn."
Scrubs
"- You've lost it. - Dr. Turk is right."
Scrubs
"You should be asleep. She should be asleep."
Scrubs
"That's my fault, sir."
Scrubs
"Look, you gotta remember, you're John "Damn" Dorian."
Scrubs
"So think about it."
Scrubs
"What would John "Damn" Dorian do?"
Scrubs
"W-W-J-D-D-D-D?"
Scrubs
"Is that too many "D's"?"
Scrubs
"Why are you awake?"
Scrubs
"This thing is so complicated."
Scrubs
"You're not that petty kid anymore. Just let it go."
Scrubs
"I could do that, or..."
Scrubs
"Okay, a patient has hypotension,"
Scrubs
"hyperpigmentation of skin and hyponatremia."
Scrubs
"What diagnostic test should we run?"
Scrubs
"I know. I know!"
Scrubs
"Anyone but the board-certified doctor?"
Scrubs
"Good call. I'll observe."
Scrubs
"We do an ACTH stimulation test to diagnose..."
Scrubs
"Addison's Disease! It's Addison's Disease!"
Scrubs
"- I was gonna say that. - Well, we'll never know, will we, Drew?"
Scrubs
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