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Clips from Scrubs - Our Dear Leaders (S09E09)

"Do you guys know who DOC XTREME is?"
Scrubs
"Russell Vaughn."
Scrubs
"about doctoring in the Third World called Rebel Without a Co-Pay."
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""'What am I supposed to do? '"
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""'Take the bullet out of his mistress's jaw or take a bullet of your own."'"
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"I did the surgery and he shot me anyway."
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"By the way, that mistress is now my wife."
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"(ALL LAUGH)"
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"Yes, he is a bit of a douche, but every time he shows up here"
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"he raises millions for the hospital."
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"And he has nailed some top-shelf international strange."
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"Hi. Dr. Russell Vaughn."
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"Yeah, I'm Dr. Christopher Duncan Turk, Chief of Surgery."
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"- Listen, man, you parked in my spot. - Okay, I'm sorry."
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"You know, I have to remind myself that I'm back in the States,"
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"- where status is everything. - It's not everything."
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"It's just that my spot's in the shade, and I have leather seats,"
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"and my seats get warm when the sun hits them."
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"I also just recently..."
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"(WHISTLING)"
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"You're going to want to stop talking now."
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"(SIGHING)"
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"DREW: Hey."
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"I just needed a moment of peace and quiet."
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"Oh, please, I have a hospital full of incompetents hammering me"
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"Doctor Cox, your patient in three is septic."
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"Antibiotics or vasopressors?"
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"CO X: Antibiotics first."
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"(TODD CLICKING TONGUE)"
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"That wasn't so dumb."
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"Wait for it."
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"Oh. Did you get my request for scrubs"
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"that hug a little closer to my wham-bam?"
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"Thank you, Todd, for being the example to a point"
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"- that you don't understand. - You're welcome."
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"I didn't ask to be put in charge."
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"We have been blessed and cursed with intelligence and wonderful hair."
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"And people follow."
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"You're just going to have to deal with that the rest of your life."
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"No. I'm done babysitting."
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"I don't want to be a leader. I just want to be a good doctor."
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"Fair enough."
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"Um..."
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"Is there something I can help you with, Russell?"
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"Actually, I'm helping you."
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"Dr. Cox told me to jump onto any cases that interested me."
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"Why don't you go and Russell up your own case?"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"(SNORTS)"
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"Clever. I was just telling Irene here that it looks as though"
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"she's going to need a septal myomectomy."
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"Russell, I'll decide which treatment is best for my patients."
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"Eleven minutes to answer a page? Really embarrassing."
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"It's 4:00 in the morning."
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"Well, I didn't do my laundry. I have nothing else to wear."
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"LUCY: Except more horse pajamas."
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"You will test, diagnose"
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"and come up with treatments for each of your fake patients."
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"You will then present your findings in three days."
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"Number One, you don't have to work with these stooges anymore."
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"I have a very special project for you."
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"Your project is to avoid them. They are vampires."
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"Time-sucking monsters who will torture you with stupid questions,"
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""I'm so stressed I feel like I want to kill myself.""
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"Well, what are you waiting for? Do it."
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"Okay. Great. So, what exactly is my project?"
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"on becoming the amazing doctor I know you can be."
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"Thank you so much."
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"Again, really unclear about what my project is."
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"- Listen to me, son... - Hey, Drew."
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"Go. Save yourself."
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"- What? - Run!"
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"Hello, Blondie, is there anything I can do for you?"
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"Uh, I was just going to ask Drew"
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"who he thought the next leader of our group should be."
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"You. You're the one."
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"Yeah. You think so?"
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"No, I just said that because you're the first one I saw."
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"Jambo, Doctors. Jambo."
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"That's Swahili for "Hello" or "Good morning.""
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"I had Jambo Juice this morning. A Berry Blast with an Echinacea Boost."
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"It was delicious. I'm going to live forever."
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"You'll be dead. I'll be alive, though. I'll be alive."
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"That was pretty catty."
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"It's just that Russell ticks me off, you know?"
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"He comes in here with his book and his rope bracelets"
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"and his wanting to help me with surgeries."
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"- I don't need anybody's help. - Yeah. This isn't about surgery."
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"This is about all the attention Russell's getting. You're jealous."
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"If I'm going to be jealous of someone,"
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"it's going to be a dude who could breathe underwater or Serena Williams."
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"I'm just saying. Kind of acting like a 13-year-old girl."
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"- Oh, my God, there's Drew. - Yeah."
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"- Did he see me? - Yes."
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"- Is he coming over here? - Yes, he is."
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"- Crap. - Hey, Drew."
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"Hey. Oh!"
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"- Hey, there, you. - Afternoon, good sir."
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"Your face is looking quite normal."
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"Oh..."
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"(DENISE CLEARING THROAT)"
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"- All right. - Okay..."
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"- Okay. - Yeah."
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"So, I thought we could start with a little bonding game."
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"Two Truths and a Lie. I'll start."
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"horses are my favorite animal"
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"No, see, Cole, that was the lie."
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"My mom hooked up with Michael Chang."
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"All right, look, let's just forget about the game."
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"Okay, my mom used to date Craig T. Nelson."
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"Coach was almost my dad!"
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"Lucy, this is a waste of time. I'm taking over the group."
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"Oh, damn! A coup de Trang!"
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"Lucy, what do you want?"
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"Please, I need your help."
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"I was leading our group and they weren't listening"
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"and I felt it happening again."
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"See, whenever I get into a position of power,"
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"You gotta get in that little bastard's face and you gotta let the crazy out."
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"Do you want to see how I do it?"
Scrubs
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