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Clips from Scrubs - Our Dear Leaders (S09E09)

"LUCY: Our study group was a well-oiled machine."
Scrubs
"And I'm like, "Later, Tevas." God. Where should I go next?"
Scrubs
"(WHISTLING)"
Scrubs
"What a day."
Scrubs
"Mmm! Mmm! Ha, ha!"
Scrubs
"Seriously, Big D, if I fail out of here,"
Scrubs
"I gotta go to med school in the Caribbean."
Scrubs
"Surgeon, best-selling author, wrote some book"
Scrubs
"- How... - Greetings."
Scrubs
"with asinine questions every second of every day."
Scrubs
"I know, Number One, but that's who we are."
Scrubs
"We'll probably go with what he said."
Scrubs
"Here are the case histories for your group projects."
Scrubs
"Where's the rich jackass?"
Scrubs
"(AIR HORN BLARING)"
Scrubs
"(SCREAMING)"
Scrubs
"mind-numbing incompetence and petty emotional problems."
Scrubs
"You're just going to shadow me and stay the hell away from them."
Scrubs
"Oh, is it, really? 'Cause I know what it means."
Scrubs
"Wow. Sure you didn't get a Femboost in there?"
Scrubs
"That ass is righteous."
Scrubs
"I am from a small fishing town in Maryland,"
Scrubs
"and I once made love with tennis great Pete Sampras."
Scrubs
"Pistol Pete? Damn, that's hot."
Scrubs
"If Cox sees me with you, he's going to kill me."
Scrubs
"Look, the key to leading the group is Trang."
Scrubs
"- (MUMBLES) Hey, there, again. - (MUMBLES) Hey, how's it going."
Scrubs
"You can't just take my last tot like that."
Scrubs
"What the... Oh, I get it."
Scrubs
"(MAKES CLICKING SOUNDS)"
Scrubs
"Lucy, have a seat. We're about to start."
Scrubs
"(SNIFFS)"
Scrubs
"LUCY: Uh-oh!"
Scrubs
"It's happening."
Scrubs
"Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle."
Scrubs
"(CLAPPING SOUNDS)"
Scrubs
"What is that? You all hear that?"
Scrubs
"WOMAN: Whoo!"
Scrubs
"- But it's such a girly name, right? - No, not really."
Scrubs
"- Oh, I didn't get a chance to tell him yet. - Russell."
Scrubs
"Look, after months of self-doubt, I have finally found my role here."
Scrubs
"LUCY: So, Drew had abandoned us, and that was fine,"
Scrubs
"I've got a peacock back here. Major plumage!"
Scrubs
"I have so much that I could teach you,"
Scrubs
"Fine, but be fair warned. I trained with the Mossad, okay?"
Scrubs
"And he was an NFL linebacker until he came out the closet."
Scrubs
"And whether you like it or not, they need me."
Scrubs
"and I'm going to help my friends."
Scrubs
"Son, you're a leader."
Scrubs
"but please avoid "aggressive shaming," because that's my bread and butter."
Scrubs
"Yeah. I've seen your work. Very impressive."
Scrubs
"Thank you, that means a lot to me."
Scrubs
"(SIGHING)"
Scrubs
"Why you moping around like a tiny girl bitch?"
Scrubs
"Either you get into that surgery, pucker up and start kissing Russell's ass"
Scrubs
"- What was that, dear? - Tiny girl bitch."
Scrubs
"Every second."
Scrubs
"Hey, maybe you could take your wheelie shoes."
Scrubs
"You know, reminds me of an old anecdote"
Scrubs
"- from my good friend Bono. - Could you just cut?"
Scrubs
"All right, you go first."
Scrubs
"Drew was in charge and I was second in command,"
Scrubs
"responsible for two things."
Scrubs
"Class notes. Yep, I got the notes right here."
Scrubs
"And keeping Cole occupied while we did the real work."
Scrubs
"Babe, these wheelie shoes are sick."
Scrubs
"Okay, I'll just be walking next to someone,"
Scrubs
"then I'll start rolling, and they're like, "What?""
Scrubs
"(COLE CHUCKLES)"
Scrubs
"What in the heck do you have on the bottom of those sneakers, champ?"
Scrubs
"Are... Are those wheels?"
Scrubs
"(CO X LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"Would you show me your glide? Go ahead, roll them on out."
Scrubs
"Get your glide on."
Scrubs
"Dr. Cox was scary when he was in his regular mood,"
Scrubs
"but him in a good mood was utterly terrifying."
Scrubs
"Well, are you all dying to know why I'm in such a festive mood?"
Scrubs
"'Cause you're about to do something horrible to us?"
Scrubs
"(IMITATING BELL DINGING)"
Scrubs
"Drew, you and your worthless classmates have just won"
Scrubs
"an all-expenses-paid trip to Hell Week."
Scrubs
"Six days and seven nights of tests, term papers and group projects."
Scrubs
"By the end of the week, one of you is going to have a psychotic break."
Scrubs
"How darn good is it to be me right about now?"
Scrubs
"Just this side of fabulous is the answer. Just this side of fabulous."
Scrubs
"As much as Dr. Cox loved torturing us,"
Scrubs
"Dr. Turk enjoyed all the perks of being Chief of Surgery."
Scrubs
"Whoo!"
Scrubs
"T-Dog! Looking-good five!"
Scrubs
"Where's my pastry?"
Scrubs
"- Too sugary. - Hey. Nothing's too sugary, woman."
Scrubs
"Tell that to your diabetes."
Scrubs
"So, you worked hard all these years to become Chief of Surgery"
Scrubs
"- just so people would kiss your ass. - No. I get a parking spot, too."
Scrubs
"Plus, I get to nickname people whatever I want."
Scrubs
"Hey, what's up, Mac-and-Cheese? Aw, snap. Ham-and-Cheese."
Scrubs
"Oh, Rain-maker in the house! What's happening?"
Scrubs
"Oh, hi."
Scrubs
"- What was that? - Oh, we're taking a break."
Scrubs
"Since when? What?"
Scrubs
"Well, we said "I love you" to each other,"
Scrubs
"and it's horrible and gross and I hate myself and him."
Scrubs
"Every week is already Hell Week. How could it get any worse?"
Scrubs
"Hey, did you have Hell Week at your med school?"
Scrubs
"God. How bad was it?"
Scrubs
"(SOBBING)"
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)"
Scrubs
"Not going to lie. It left a few psychological marks."
Scrubs
"One of you is probably going to crack. I'm looking at you, Jet Li."
Scrubs
"But, hey, good luck. Rooting for you."
Scrubs
"All right, Drew. You're our leader. Let's get this going."
Scrubs
"Get what going? I rarely listen to you people."
Scrubs
"Dude, I don't speak Carribesian! So, tell us what to do."
Scrubs
"All right, why does this always have to fall on me? I don't have the plan."
Scrubs
"I don't have the answer to every damn question."
Scrubs
"Hey, Drew's right. Everybody, back up, give him some space."
Scrubs
"He'll figure out the plan and then text us."
Scrubs
"Oh, hell, no."
Scrubs
"Yo! Somebody's parked in my spot."
Scrubs
"Boo-hoo. It takes me 11 minutes to pee."
Scrubs
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