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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Panty Piñata Polarization (S02E02)

"...through this transparently manipulative, pseudo-reality again?"
The Big Bang Theory
"You and I have a standing TV schedule..."
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"...the result of extensive debate and compromise."
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"Put it on the agenda."
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"I'll make a motion but you're not gonna like it."
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"Oh, Giselle's not getting kicked off."
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"- It's one onion ring. - Just put it back before he comes."
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"Okay, here he comes. Deny, deny, deny, people. Wall of silence."
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"- Who touched my--? - Penny. Penny did it."
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"Why would you do that?"
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"I don't know. I was hungry? What's the big deal?"
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"The big deal is that nobody touches food on my plate."
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"All right. I didn't know. I'm sorry."
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"- What? - You have two strikes."
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"Three strikes and you're out."
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"It's a sports metaphor."
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"All right, yeah, I'll play along."
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"- What was my first strike? - March 18th."
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"You violated my rule about forwarding e-mail humor."
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"The photo of the cat who wants to "Has Cheezburger?""
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"Oh, come on, everybody loves Lolcats."
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"I trusted you with my e-mail address and you betrayed that trust..."
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"...by sending me Internet banality. Strike one."
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"Don't worry, they only stay on your record for a year."
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"- Oh, come on, I touched one onion ring. - And then you put it back."
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"Compromising the integrity of all the other onion rings."
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"Look, I wish I could be more lenient with you."
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"But since you've become a permanent member..."
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"...l've to hold you to the same standards as everybody else."
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"Congratulations, you're officially one of us."
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"One of us, one of us."
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"- You're sitting in my spot. - Oh, gee, you've gotta be kidding me."
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"- Leonard, she's in my spot. - Yeah, yeah."
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"I don't care. I'm taking a stand."
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"Metaphorically."
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"I'm banished?"
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"- What the hell kind of crap is that? - Listen."
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"Just so I know, would you be open to taking his class?"
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"You can do it online."
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"When we find it, wanna go with us?"
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"- To do what? - Party with the pretty girls, dude."
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"Are you insane? You're not gonna party with them."
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"You're not even gonna get near that place."
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"That's what they said to Neil Armstrong about the moon."
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"No one said anything of the kind to Neil Armstrong."
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"...to put a man on the moon."
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"My fellow Americans, before this year is out..."
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"...we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's Top Models."
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"And a large number of people will believe it never happened."
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"Okay, let me guess."
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"Quesadilla with soy cheese..."
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"- ...for lactose-intolerant Leonard. - Thank you."
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"Shrimp caesar salad with no almonds for the highly allergic..."
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"...kosher-only-on-the-High-Holidays Howard."
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"And for our suddenly-back-on-the-Hindu-wagon Raj..."
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"...meat lover's pizza, no meat."
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"Coming right up."
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"...barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side."
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"You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory."
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"- Why? - Well, you have three strikes."
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"One, coming in. Two, sitting down."
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"And three, I don't like your attitude."
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"...it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy."
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"Yeah, no, there's a new policy: No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon."
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"I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena."
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"- Penny, can I talk to you for a minute? - Uh-huh."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Look, here's the thing."
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"And he agrees that he was unreasonable and out of line."
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"- Really? Well, that's great. - Yeah."
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"Oh, just apologize to him, okay?"
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"What? I'm not gonna apologize to that nutcase."
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"Come on, it's easy. He'll even tell you what to say."
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"We're not encouraging. It's more like knuckling under."
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"I like hanging out but I'm not gonna apologize for something I didn't do."
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"That's strike one, Leonard."
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"And thanks to Sheldon's heated discussion with my manager..."
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"Go ahead. Eat it."
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"That's it. There's the house. I found America's top models!"
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"Anaïïs and Giselle are sunbathing."
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"European style."
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"You can recognize people on Google Earth?"
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"Of course not. I got a buddy of mine at NORAD to have a spy drone fly over."
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"It was already targeted to poke around a nuclear reactor in Siberia."
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"I took it an hour out of its way, tops."
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"Okay, where is he?"
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"Here. Try and go online."
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"Greetings, hamburger-toucher."
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"You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends..."
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"...about how much you heart various things."
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"Well, this recorded message is alerting you..."
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"...that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our Wi-Fi."
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"...you can contact the phone company, set up your own Wi-Fi and pay for it..."
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"...or you may apologize to me."
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"Oh, no, no, no. It is on."
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"I'm gonna introduce your friend to a world of hurt."
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"Oh, Penny, you don't wanna get into it with Sheldon."
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"The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain."
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"I don't care. I was in junior rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in 60 seconds."
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"There, see?"
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"Problem solved."
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"Hello, puny insects."
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"...everyone is awarded one additional strike."
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"Thanks a lot, Howard."
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"What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again."
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"Hello."
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"Saturday night."
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"Saturday is laundry night."
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"I know."
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"Every Saturday at 8:15."
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"Easy to anticipate."
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"What are you implying?"
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"And if something were to prevent you from doing your laundry on Saturday at 8:15..."
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"...you might find it..."
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"...unpleasant."
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"Knuckle under, my ass."
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"Are all the machines taken?"
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"No problem."
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"Well, I guess you can try..."
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"...but deep inside your heart you'll know that laundry night is always Saturday night."
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