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Clips from Community - Advanced Criminal Law (S01E01)

"I guess...same reason that i cheated."
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"I...just have more experience being worthless."
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"I'm so used to screwing everything up"
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"I just wanted to get it over with."
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"- wait. i think we have our defense."
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"My client is insane."
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"You would realize she is all the way out"
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"Of her entire damn mind."
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"She doesn't want to succeed"
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"Because she doesn't think she can."
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"So she goes out of her way to fail."
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"That's crazy!"
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"Do we really want to make it a crime"
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"To be crazy at greendale?"
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"I mean, look at us."
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"I mean, you two are arguing about status at a college"
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"That correspondence schools make fun of."
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"Everyone on this campus is nuts."
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"If you're gonna argue with me, put on a bathing suit."
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"- busted. [chuckles]"
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"you need to sentence her to staying here with us."
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"Because if crazy people can't be at greendale,"
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"Where are we supposed to go?"
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"[chang sniffles]"
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"I'll recommend that the accused"
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"Be fully exonerated."
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"On the condition that she receives"
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"From a trained mental health professional."
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"Thinking maybe fridays, nine-ish, something like that."
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"- yes! - wait, what?"
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"[duncan bangs gavel] - that just happened."
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"[electronic whirring]"
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"- t-t-tell me about the one they call troy."
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"- well, he is rather arrogant"
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"- stop. stop doing this right now."
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"- whoa, whoa, whoa."
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"- i never thought you were."
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"But this is insane, okay?"
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"Those are credible alien hand movements."
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"You invented a whole language."
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"I'm pretty sure you rented a green screen."
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"- yeah."
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"- this is what friends do."
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"- no."
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"From now on, abed,"
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"friends don't mess with each other."
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"[abed laughing on video]"
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"- cool? - cool. bam bam!"
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"- [ululating]"
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"- garrett, it's over. he knows."
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"- we will stick things in his butt."
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"- you're getting a little sloppy."
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"- we went over-budget. - mm."
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"- [snorts]"
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"I've got it."
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"[playing twinkle twinkle little star melody]"
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"* greendale, greendale little star-- *"
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"[sobbing]"
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"I'm a fraud, annie."
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"- but what about the hawthorne wipes jingle?"
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"You want to hear it? here."
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"* you'll be wiping off that ketchup *"
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"* with our wipes, hawthorne wipes! *"
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"* you'll be wiping off that mustard *"
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"* with our wipes at the picnic! *"
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"- that's she'll be coming around the mountain."
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"You backed the wrong horse. i got nothing."
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"- pierce, you're musical. you're creative."
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"You can do this. i believe in you."
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"- well, you shouldn't. i quit."
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"I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me"
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"When i wanted to quit cheerleading."
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"You're not very pretty, you have no boobs,"
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"And you can't do a basket toss to save your life,"
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"But you made a commitment."
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"So pick up your pompoms, pierce,"
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"To forget you at a taco bell, because life is tough."
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"But we soldier on,"
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"And that's just the way it goes."
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"- gonna play myself out."
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"[applause] oh, oh!"
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"You know, greendale may never be..."
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"- just don't talk to me for a while."
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"- no problem. just glad you're here."
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"- oh."
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"- for believing in me."
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"[pierce playing the way it is melody]"
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"* waiting for the bell to chime *"
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"* so you can go to class *"
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"* dancing in your underwear *"
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"* taking air conditioner repair *"
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"- yeah, they got us."
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"* slop pails and pantyhose *"
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"* oh, annie believes in me *"
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"- message received."
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"particularly carlito's way, the cowboy way, the hard way,"
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"You put on the study group's contact sheet was fake,"
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"- well, i may be a genius, but i'm not a lesbian."
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"- [scoffs]"
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"Who cares who made the crib sheet?"
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"I'm already overwhelmed by my duties"
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"But he's quite a handful."
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"- well, i guess that's your fault, isn't it?"
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"- yeah, as a joke."
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"This isn't a table."
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"- yeah, well, when we first met,"
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"Oh, wait, i gave a quarter to a dirty bum today."
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"You would be britta perry."
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"Your case will be reviewed"
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"- oh, okay, ouch, and yes."
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"Dean you later."
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"- i can neither confirm nor deny that."
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"- it's probably arabic."
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"- professor ben chang."
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"- yeah, well, you got prince charles over here,"
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"Oh, let's strike that."
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"Mind if i hear what you got so far?"
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"- i'm just a little worried."
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"Did you make that crib sheet?"
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"- you did what?"
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