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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Mayor's Day Out (S01E01)

"."
Mr. Mayor
"- Grass. Reefer."
Mr. Mayor
"Jazz cigarettes. Jamaican caviar."
Mr. Mayor
"Whatever you call it, legalized marijuana is here to stay."
Mr. Mayor
"- Did you not review his remarks beforehand?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I wrote them."
Mr. Mayor
"I looked up all the slang on my church's website."
Mr. Mayor
"- Today, the legal marijuana business"
Mr. Mayor
"is a financial boon to our city."
Mr. Mayor
"So I am proud to be here at the grand opening"
Mr. Mayor
"of L.A.'s 10,000th dispensary."
Mr. Mayor
"[scattered applause] You ready, L.A.?"
Mr. Mayor
"Go...buy drugs now!"
Mr. Mayor
"- He improv'd that."
Mr. Mayor
"[uplifting music]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- At 10:00, we go to Alf Junior High School,"
Mr. Mayor
"which he named after Alf from the show "Alf.""
Mr. Mayor
"So much history in this city."
Mr. Mayor
"- It's a photo op"
Mr. Mayor
"for the Meatless Monday school lunch initiative."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, should bea total lay-up."
Mr. Mayor
"- We just don't want to get meme-ed."
Mr. Mayor
"You know, the funny internet photos?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, like the one with the happy baby,"
Mr. Mayor
"and underneath it says, "When you hit the fairway.""
Mr. Mayor
"It's funny because how would the baby know, right?"
Mr. Mayor
"- That's hilarious, sir, but as a public figure,"
Mr. Mayor
"you don't want to become a funny picture."
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay. - That's why we avoid"
Mr. Mayor
"bathing suits, dancing at a cultural day,"
Mr. Mayor
"and, above all, eating on camera."
Mr. Mayor
"- Got it, no eating. - After Meatless Mondays,"
Mr. Mayor
"we go to El Segundoto open up a community center."
Mr. Mayor
"And I figure we caneat in the car."
Mr. Mayor
"It's my turn to pick,and I pick tacos."
Mr. Mayor
"- In the car, Jayden? - Tacos is a terrible car food."
Mr. Mayor
"- I pick tacos!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay. - After that, we go to"
Mr. Mayor
"Tujunga to judge a Cutest Grandpa competition."
Mr. Mayor
"That sounds fun. - A what?"
Mr. Mayor
"- No, I'm the mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"I shouldn't be spending my day going to a ceremony"
Mr. Mayor
"celebrating zero deaths at Six Flags this summer."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, no, they actually canceled that this morning."
Mr. Mayor
"They checked the bushes. - Now, what I'm saying is"
Mr. Mayor
"we have real problems here-- homelessness, infrastructure."
Mr. Mayor
"- The Oscar host situation."
Mr. Mayor
"God, that group thing does not work."
Mr. Mayor
"- These photo ops and canned speeches--"
Mr. Mayor
"it's just pointless. I want to do something."
Mr. Mayor
"Let's fix the traffic problem. Build a subway."
Mr. Mayor
"- L.A. has a subway, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, it stinks."
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey. - What?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I hate my job too."
Mr. Mayor
"But you know how I get through the day?"
Mr. Mayor
"- We all knowhow you get through your day."
Mr. Mayor
"- This is what change looks like."
Mr. Mayor
"I am the first woman of color without a master's degree"
Mr. Mayor
"to serve as chief of staff."
Mr. Mayor
"Hashtag progress, hashtag one filter."
Mr. Mayor
"My first act as "the boss"--"
Mr. Mayor
"changing the code on the executive bathroom"
Mr. Mayor
"to the birthday of a feminist icon."
Mr. Mayor
"Katniss Everdeen."
Mr. Mayor
"Hey, I'm not perfect. My nails are chipped."
Mr. Mayor
"I get UTIs."
Mr. Mayor
"My car is filthy."
Mr. Mayor
"[rapid beeping] Oh!"
Mr. Mayor
"Hey guys. I mean, good morning, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- Good morning. Apparently, I'm not"
Mr. Mayor
"gonna be in the office at all today"
Mr. Mayor
"because being mayor is 90% photo ops and animal funerals."
Mr. Mayor
"- Not just any animal.Dog with a Blog."
Mr. Mayor
"- So I'm putting you in charge today, Mikaela,"
Mr. Mayor
"and you have one job--"
Mr. Mayor
"babysit Arpi Meskimen."
Mr. Mayor
"Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer."
Mr. Mayor
"- That's why I'm so nice to my sister's baby."
Mr. Mayor
"- I don't trust the deputy mayor,"
Mr. Mayor
"so keep her distracted, okay?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I'll be cigarette lighter. She'll be my sister's baby."
Mr. Mayor
"- Thank you Mikaela."
Mr. Mayor
"[phone beeps]"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm not saying this about a dog."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'll show you a picture, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"For a dog he was pretty hot,"
Mr. Mayor
"and for a blogger, he was very hot."
Mr. Mayor
"- This is my office."
Mr. Mayor
"Still got a lot of work to do."
Mr. Mayor
"- I heard you wanted to see me."
Mr. Mayor
"- [gasps] - I'd been hoping"
Mr. Mayor
"to get a minute with you as well."
Mr. Mayor
"I'd love to show you "Pee-pee porn.""
Mr. Mayor
"- Whisper, whisper, whisper."
Mr. Mayor
"- So "meatless Mondays" on three!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Ew, no. Wait, is that sex negative?"
Mr. Mayor
"- It's an acronym for Private Plane Paths"
Mr. Mayor
"One, two--"
Mr. Mayor
"Over Residential Neighborhoods."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh my God, what is he doing?"
Mr. Mayor
"I been working on this ever since the Richie-Riches"
Mr. Mayor
"Is he rolling it up, tip to crust?"
Mr. Mayor
"- No, no, please don't eat it. - Don't eat it, don't eat it,"
Mr. Mayor
"in Santa Monica got the FAA to ban private jets"
Mr. Mayor
"Don't eat it! Oh! - Oh!"
Mr. Mayor
"at their airport because of noise pollution."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- [muffled] Meatless Monday. [laughing]"
Mr. Mayor
"The problem is,"
Mr. Mayor
"I have so much food in my mouth."
Mr. Mayor
"now Van Nuys airport is getting twice the traffic,"
Mr. Mayor
"which means twice the noise over poorer neighborhoods."
Mr. Mayor
"I couldn't say it."
Mr. Mayor
"And it's really affecting the kids there."
Mr. Mayor
"."
Mr. Mayor
"- Shoot. Looks like we're out of tape."
Mr. Mayor
"I mean, did you see this year's L.A. County Spelling Bee?"
Mr. Mayor
"This tends to happen towards the end of the fiscal year."
Mr. Mayor
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