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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Tom's Divorce (S02E02)

"For legal reasons, wecan't make puns about the temperature of the meats."
Parks and Recreation
"and a couple of bottles of wine?"
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"I've never had that debate with anyone."
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"Should they accept,"
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"I'm still feeling pretty sad."
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"Why would he do that?"
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"Why not?"
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"No more showing up when we're hanging out."
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"Okay, fine."
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"Rack 'em up."
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"Somebody punch someone."
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"So how you doing, buddy?"
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"A ruby?"
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"Crap."
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"Good. You're gonna take April home."
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"Let's go, everybody."
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"But now I'm ready to pull myself up by some g-strings."
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"You're doing a bang-up job of looking sad about Wendy."
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"Take a moment to say good-bye."
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"because it's very insincere and fleeting,"
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"grind away."
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"Stripper dancing action."
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"No, it's because I'm miserable."
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"Never mind. Thank you, Seabiscuit. That'll be all."
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"Glitter bomb!"
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"It's exactly how I felt when that planet earth series ended."
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"If they're not wagering their girlfriends in pool,"
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"It makes you question the whole notion of those bromance movies."
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"Could you carry him out of here?"
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"We took Tom out tonight, and he had a bit too much to drink."
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"No. That's his boss."
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"You know what?"
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"Last night was really rough,"
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"But now that she does she's sorry of course"
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"Totally natural. I'm getting divorced."
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"- Do you want to get out of here? - I do."
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"Episode 211 The Fourth Floor"
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"He's gonna ask her out. He told me."
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"- I'm good. Thank you. - Hey, you clean? I buy too."
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"I think you now owe me $25."
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"but all I want for you is to get over this."
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"It's my problem."
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"Are you in this office"
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"I'm a feminist. I would never, ever go to a strip club."
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"We have to step up. For Tom's sake."
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"Like, tied up, naked, in your basement?"
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"Also, Mark, again,"
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"Honestly, it's fine."
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"Yeah, I'm really hurt."
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"We'll make it Tom's night. You can go anywhere you want. Our treat."
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"Here's what I think we should do. Everyone should go around"
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"Someone had a pool table growing up, huh?"
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"I kind of feel like Jane Goodall studying the chimps."
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"Go put these in places I do not approve of."
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"None of his family lives here,"
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"And I just want to see Wendy."
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"where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get."
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"How do you want that cooked?"
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"You're not divorced yet and you're inviting other men over?"
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"How's it going?"
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"that I didn't think this through completely."
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"I have to take him to a place where he can't possibly be sad."
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"Take it down a notch."
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"to be your deputy. I don't get men."
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"You like your wife? That's a bummer."
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".:: La Fabrique ::."
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"I really appreciate what you're trying to do,"
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"That kind of feels like your fault."
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"and divorce is the number two"
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""and I like fire"
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"I made that up."
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"For ******** sake."
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"- You ready to order? - Yes."
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"I ordered a tyranno-ceasar salad, and that's all I'm paying for."
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"Ridiculous. Donna?"
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"and another glass of "bronto" grigio?"
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"it really was completely platonic?"
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"A goose heart?"
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"It's rough in here."
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"Strippers do nothing for me."
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"self-possessed woman at the top of her field,"
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"Thanks. You tried."
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"- This is Seabiscuit. - Sierra."
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"I've been to the Glitter Factory a million times."
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"I need to tell you something."
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"Wendy and I have a green-card marriage."
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"you're in."
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"I don't want to do this."
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"Is it because you have a strong, positive, female figure watching you?"
Parks and Recreation