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Clips from The Simpsons - Margical History Tour (S15E15)

"The Pacific Ocean!"
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"Eugene, Oregon!"
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"And we owe it all to you."
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"You're gonna get the greatest honor this country can bestow."
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"What is that? A quarter?"
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"A Chuck E. Cheese token?"
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"You can trade it in at the bank for a real dollar! Huh?"
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"Bart, what famous historical figure do you want to write about?"
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"I don't know. The boogeyman?"
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"Mom, everyone who ever lived is boring."
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"Boring? Is there anything boring about a bad-ass rocker"
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"who lived fast and died young?"
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"I know there's a catch, but tell me more."
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"wowed audiences across 18th century Europe."
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"And now the star of our show, my son, Mozart!"
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"He makes Bach turn back. Haydn go into hidin',"
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"Yeah!"
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"I can't hear you!"
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"Sonata in A, K331, Third Movement!"
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"(PLAYING TURKISH RONDO)"
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"Papa, let me be the headliner."
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"I always show up on time and I close the piano lid ever so softly."
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"why don't you go play with the other three"
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"Sally, no one practices as hard as you."
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"But it's your brother who keeps us in lead-based face powder."
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"I'm doing it right now."
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"I call this my "Symphony in Gee, My Sister Sucks.""
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"(GROWLS)"
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"O Lord, why did you give such transcendent talent"
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"Because you are ugly!"
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"What is it about music that enchants us?"
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"Our next award is sponsored by Heinrich's Bratwurst."
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""Papa, can we have a Heinrich's Bratwurst?""
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"...Mozart."
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"(CHEERING)"
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"Thank you. Thank you."
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"I want to see you all next week at my concert in Krakow!"
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"(GIGGLING)"
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"I hope they like the opera."
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"Oh, they're like sheep. As the emperor goes, so do they."
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"Wine here! Get your wine!"
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"Claret, Port, Riesling! Emperors drink free."
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"I'm an emperor!"
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"(BUBBLES AND SIZZLES)"
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"But watch out When beans come out down south"
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"Tooting, some call it pooting It's air-polluting"
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"The gas comes shooting right from your"
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"I say..."
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"The emperor finds it boring."
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"Then so do we."
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"(TITTERING)"
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"People bored with opera?"
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"That's impossible!"
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"(REQUIEM PLAYING)"
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"Oh, Mozart, I know you are gravely ill."
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"So I brought you the very finest doctor in all of Austria."
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"Guten Tag, Dr. Nick."
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"I can tell from here you have too much blood."
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"Let's get you covered in leeches."
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"Now, in the morning, you'll be good as new or dead!"
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"But the important thing is we'll know."
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"(REQUIEM PLAYING)"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Mozart, you can't die. (MUSIC STOPS)"
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"I don't want to live in a world"
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"without the income you produce."
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"(SNIFFLING)"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"I just wanted to destroy your talent and your joy."
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"Dear sister, I have a confession."
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"your music would be judged the best."
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"Really?"
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"But now that I'm dying young..."
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"I'll be cool forever."
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"Mozart is dead!"
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"(ALL GASP)"
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"Be the first on your block to give me money!"
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"With Mozart dead, I am, at last, the greatest composer alive!"
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"The emperor is with yet another musical prodigy."
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"(CACKLES TO THE TUNE OF BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY)"
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"(WHISTLES)"
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"(LAUGHS INSANELY)"
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"Thank God he died young. I've gotta get dinner on the stove."
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"Mom, that sounds a lot like the movie Amadeus"
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"which was historically inaccurate."
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"Mozart worked hard on his music."
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"Salieri was a respected composer."
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"All I know is the guy who played Mozart was also in Animal House."
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"Now there's a movie with good music."
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"Then we saw Donald Sutherland's ass"
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"Animal house, house, house"
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"Then they did the end like American Graffiti"
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"Where you found out what happened to everyone"
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"(DINGS)"
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"No books?"
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"I've been eating since 6:00 a.m."
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"Could a girl belch like this? (BELCHES)"
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"(MOANS)"
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"We came here to talk about our problems."
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"And by the power vested in me by you just now,"
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"Henry, sorry I bore you a daughter."
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"Oh, my horoscope!"
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"You didn't dump me. I dumped you..."
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"And locking me in a dungeon."
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"(COUGHS)"
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"Mom, I can't find anything on Sacagawea."
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"Just a couple of books on Ron Santo."
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"and some embedded journalists to find the Northwest Passage."
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"And Carl."
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"Now, in order to aid your journey across the land"
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"Okay, those berries are poison."
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"Some of us find solutions instead of just pointing out problems."
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"It's been two years, so our brave explorers should be right about here."
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"CLARK: Wow, the Columbia River!"
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"Big surprise."
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"and, well, those are the only ones there have been so far."
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"(SQUEALING)"
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"Oh, little Salieri,"
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"Nachti-Nacht."
The Simpsons
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