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Clips from The Simpsons - Margical History Tour (S15E15)

"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
The Simpsons
"for children of all ages..."
The Simpsons
"There are hardly any books at all."
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"But Krabappel wants a paper on Henry VIII."
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"And I have to score at least a pumpkin sticker or better on it."
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"I know a little something about history."
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"Gather round."
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"(FANFARE PLAYING)"
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"(SINGING) I'm Henry the Eighth, I am"
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"For dessert I'll have dinner again"
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"I'll always eat a turkey or a ham"
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"We all know who you are!"
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"Her Majesty, Margarine of Aragon!"
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"What are you doing out of bed?"
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"(ALL LAUGHING)"
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"I don't know. Too much jerkin' your merkin?"
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"He wasn't so preoccupied with procreation."
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"Well, there's more of you to worship, O Sire."
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"Anne Boleyn, loyal subject, big fan."
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""Anne of the child-bearing hips.""
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"But I can't chop my wife's head off"
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"Your Majesty, your feelings are valid,"
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"but I'm afraid marriage takes a lot of hard work."
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"Woo-hoo!"
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"Divorce? Sire, there's no such thing in the Cath-diddly-atholic Church."
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"But it's the only church we've got, so what are you gonna do?"
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"more than half of marriages will end in it."
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"knows a lot more about marriage than you."
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"And because you stuck to your principles, I'm going to canonize you."
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"I wonder if I could canonize a child?"
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"Leaving!"
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"I get lreland?"
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"(CHUCKLES) Stop. Anne, I love her as much as I love you."
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"(DRUM ROLL)"
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"Your head lives for five seconds afterwards"
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"(LAUGHS) it's funny, 'cause you're king."
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"Now take a ride on the kingmaker!"
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"My whole life, I was looking for that one woman"
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"whose execution could bring me happiness."
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"Of course, Your Majesty. Let me just fluff your pillow for you."
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"Finally, Henry's daughter Elizabeth became queen."
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"And British actresses always had a role to play"
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"when they got to a certain age."
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"Wow. The library really is a great resource!"
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"Okay."
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"but encountered much hardship."
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"Thanks. And welcome to the United States of America."
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"Have a flag."
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""who won't shut her maize hole.""
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"I will be happy to help the Americans."
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"Of course, I will be sad to leave my husband,"
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"I will come with you."
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"Because by myself, the darkness, she scares me."
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"I'll tell you what's poisonous, your attitude."
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"the expedition of Lewis and Clark"
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"And when you get a chance, bury your friend."
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"you couldn't open a bar in Kansas."
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"Hey... Hey!"
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"How did you two ever get to be explorers?"
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"Turns out the needle was just painted on."
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"(ALL GASP)"
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"Now we just ride this baby down to the Pacific"
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"I am the only reason you guys made it this far alive!"
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"Oh, warm, wooly rock, you're my only friend."
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"Which you mountain lions find terrifying!"
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"Gesundheit."
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"We made it! We discovered the magnificent Pacific Northwest."
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"And today, Lewis' promise has been fulfilled."
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"No! It's a Sacagawea dollar."
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"Come on, Bart. We can make this fun."
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"except instead of rides, you have dates to memorize."
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"As a young prodigy, this popular musician"
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"(CHEERING)"
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"Sonata in A, K331, Third Movement!"
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"Huh? Huh?"
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"untalented members of our family?"
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"Tito, Randy, and Jermaine."
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"(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"(SWOONING)"
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"(MOANS IN DELIGHT)"
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"Ew! A plague rat!"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Don't you have music to write?"
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"to such an undeserving fool?"
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"For outstanding composer age 10 and under,"
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"the winner is..."
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"Please let me win."
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"(SCOFFS) I can't stand it."
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"(ALL LAUGHING)"
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"(CACKLES)"
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"(GASPS)"
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"(CACKLES)"
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"(MUSIC STOPS)"
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"Guten Tag, everybody."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"I'll never forget when you were a little baby"
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"and I sang you the lullabies you wrote."
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"In the eyes of history, I always thought"
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"(SIGHS)"
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"Eat my pantaloons!"
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"(REQUIEM PLAYING)"
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"(CHUCKLES SMUGLY)"
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"I must show the emperor my Requiem Mass."
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"You'll have to wait your turn."
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"Splendid, young Beethoven. I hereby declare all other music obsolete."
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"(MUTTERING INCOHERENTLY)"
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"And that's the life of Mozart."
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"(SINGING) Animal house, house, house"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"I have to research a paper. Where did all the books go?"
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"Books? Books are for squares."
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"We're now a multimedia learning center"
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"BART: Ay, caramba!"
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"Huh? What?"
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"(LISA READING)"
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"Aw. There, there. I can help you kids."
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"(ALL GASPING)"
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"except a son to follow in his footsteps."
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"Stop singing that song!"
The Simpsons
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