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Clips from Scrubs - My New Old Friend (S02E02)

You have suggested that you're feeling rather tired lately,

"You have suggested that you're feeling rather tired lately,"

Scrubs

we can go ahead and check out your bone marrow.

"we can go ahead and check out your bone marrow."

Scrubs

and it's very, very, very excruciatingly painful.

"and it's very, very, very excruciatingly painful."

Scrubs

Think of something clever to get him outta here.

"Think of something clever to get him outta here."

Scrubs

- So, anyway, Elliot... - Hey, I found an apartment.

"- So, anyway, Elliot... - Hey, I found an apartment."

Scrubs

I know.

"I know."

Scrubs

- That's funny. - I thought so.

"- That's funny. - I thought so."

Scrubs

Actually, I'm going to speak at my son's career day.

"Actually, I'm going to speak at my son's career day."

Scrubs

About being a janitor?

"About being a janitor?"

Scrubs

Look.

"Look."

Scrubs

Did you pull her license or not?

"Did you pull her license or not?"

Scrubs

OK, I didn't tell her yet, sir, but I swear I was gonna.

"OK, I didn't tell her yet, sir, but I swear I was gonna."

Scrubs

Dr Cox, I think you should take a look at Mr Corman's chart.

"Dr Cox, I think you should take a look at Mr Corman's chart."

Scrubs

What's he got, scurvy? There's no chance you were on a ship

"What's he got, scurvy? There's no chance you were on a ship"

Scrubs

If I could get out of this place and get away from Elliot

"If I could get out of this place and get away from Elliot"

Scrubs

All you saw was, like, knuckles and a bun. Poor Bessie.

"All you saw was, like, knuckles and a bun. Poor Bessie."

Scrubs

- You do. - I've had Malik since I was 17.

"- You do. - I've had Malik since I was 17."

Scrubs

I'm afraid you have Waldenstrom's macroglobulinemia.

"I'm afraid you have Waldenstrom's macroglobulinemia."

Scrubs

Yeah... I think I had that in college once.

"Yeah... I think I had that in college once."

Scrubs

This is Dr Zeltzer.

"This is Dr Zeltzer."

Scrubs

Really? You think so?

"Really? You think so?"

Scrubs

Better than Leventhal?

"Better than Leventhal?"

Scrubs

You called for a bone marrow biopsy?

"You called for a bone marrow biopsy?"

Scrubs

Don't worry, Dr Zeltzer. He's only kidding.

"Don't worry, Dr Zeltzer. He's only kidding."

Scrubs

Stupid. See, that's where Leventhal has the edge.

"Stupid. See, that's where Leventhal has the edge."

Scrubs

He would've got that. The man's hilarious.

"He would've got that. The man's hilarious."

Scrubs

- What? - Nothing.

"- What? - Nothing."

Scrubs

- Then what's with the look? - I have a crick in my neck.

"- Then what's with the look? - I have a crick in my neck."

Scrubs

Since I no longer have any furniture for my new place,

"Since I no longer have any furniture for my new place,"

Scrubs

The Italian people are really good at making sauce.

"The Italian people are really good at making sauce."

Scrubs

Now she all mad.

"Now she all mad."

Scrubs

I was looking for a friend.

"I was looking for a friend."

Scrubs

I was thinking about what you said and you're right.

"I was thinking about what you said and you're right."

Scrubs

I borrowed some stuff from your locker, our locker.

"I borrowed some stuff from your locker, our locker."

Scrubs

I am so sorry. Miss Kaye told me about picking up her grandkids,

"I am so sorry. Miss Kaye told me about picking up her grandkids,"

Scrubs

and she said she was feeling fine, and I believed her.

"and she said she was feeling fine, and I believed her."

Scrubs

- if mixed with narcotics. - Oh, drugs. Yes, sir, all the time.

"- if mixed with narcotics. - Oh, drugs. Yes, sir, all the time."

Scrubs

See? Waiting for the tox screen, six hours.

"See? Waiting for the tox screen, six hours."

Scrubs

Frightening the bejeebies out of the riffraff, ten seconds.

"Frightening the bejeebies out of the riffraff, ten seconds."

Scrubs

or, say, me when I tell my son he can still live at the house

"or, say, me when I tell my son he can still live at the house"

Scrubs

Since the bypass, doc, nothing but salads.

"Since the bypass, doc, nothing but salads."

Scrubs

Look, it was an accident.

"Look, it was an accident."

Scrubs

So you decided to put your penis in there?

"So you decided to put your penis in there?"

Scrubs

Dr Zeltzer and I have gone over your test results

"Dr Zeltzer and I have gone over your test results"

Scrubs

but I'm not an idiot.

"but I'm not an idiot."

Scrubs

You wanna be tested for that too, don't you?

"You wanna be tested for that too, don't you?"

Scrubs

Hey, Elliot... Look, you were right.

"Hey, Elliot... Look, you were right."

Scrubs

I should have been there for you last night.

"I should have been there for you last night."

Scrubs

- Why didn't you stop me? - What?

"- Why didn't you stop me? - What?"

Scrubs

You think the fact that you got annoyed

"You think the fact that you got annoyed"

Scrubs

and became insensitive with another human being is my fault?

"and became insensitive with another human being is my fault?"

Scrubs

That's the way it works. That's the way it's worked for years.

"That's the way it works. That's the way it's worked for years."

Scrubs

Maybe all that therapy has changed you.

"Maybe all that therapy has changed you."

Scrubs

Please, I'm crazier than ever.

"Please, I'm crazier than ever."

Scrubs

sitting on a throne between us, watching all of this.

"sitting on a throne between us, watching all of this."

Scrubs

Of course.

"Of course."

Scrubs

Why so sad, Chocolate Bear?

"Why so sad, Chocolate Bear?"

Scrubs

Yeah. Hey, is my breath OK?

"Yeah. Hey, is my breath OK?"

Scrubs

That whole damn building is packed with liars.

"That whole damn building is packed with liars."

Scrubs

It is not.

"It is not."

Scrubs

Well, I don't get why people have to do that.

"Well, I don't get why people have to do that."

Scrubs

I don't know, maybe it's because they're proud.

"I don't know, maybe it's because they're proud."

Scrubs

Maybe it's cos they're scared.

"Maybe it's cos they're scared."

Scrubs

would make 'em feel too vulnerable.

"would make 'em feel too vulnerable."

Scrubs

I guess. Dude, you're gonna be late for Gift-Shop Girl.

"I guess. Dude, you're gonna be late for Gift-Shop Girl."

Scrubs

Cos even if it breaks your heart to be just friends,

"Cos even if it breaks your heart to be just friends,"

Scrubs

It was all of my yearbooks and this little pink blanket

"It was all of my yearbooks and this little pink blanket"

Scrubs

Oh, and my first love letter. My first rag doll.

"Oh, and my first love letter. My first rag doll."

Scrubs

Why does she go in there? I mean, he's behind the door!

"Why does she go in there? I mean, he's behind the door!"

Scrubs

It's weird to run into someone from the hospital

"It's weird to run into someone from the hospital"

Scrubs

- Hey, Dr Kelso. - How ya doing, sir?

"- Hey, Dr Kelso. - How ya doing, sir?"

Scrubs

Now, unless your pants are made out of Turtle Wax,

"Now, unless your pants are made out of Turtle Wax,"

Scrubs

I'll just go get dressed and then we can go to work.

"I'll just go get dressed and then we can go to work."

Scrubs

Chop-chop, buddy.

"Chop-chop, buddy."

Scrubs

Told you I could fit in this spot.

"Told you I could fit in this spot."

Scrubs

for you to transition into being just friends again.

"for you to transition into being just friends again."

Scrubs

What does that have to do with anything?

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Scrubs

You're right. Know what we should do?

"You're right. Know what we should do?"

Scrubs

I missed the annual sleepover, didn't I?

"I missed the annual sleepover, didn't I?"

Scrubs

You comforted her because she was weak and vulnerable

"You comforted her because she was weak and vulnerable"

Scrubs

do you listen to this crap all day long?

"do you listen to this crap all day long?"

Scrubs

Todd, I'm standing right here.

"Todd, I'm standing right here."

Scrubs

Oh, joy of joys, Mr Corman, you've joined us yet again.

"Oh, joy of joys, Mr Corman, you've joined us yet again."

Scrubs

He thinks he has the Yaba virus.

"He thinks he has the Yaba virus."

Scrubs

But if that's the case, it would be way, way down

"But if that's the case, it would be way, way down"

Scrubs

No talking.

"No talking."

Scrubs

Maybe you should worry about your own reaction time.

"Maybe you should worry about your own reaction time."

Scrubs

I doubt she can back out of her own driveway.

"I doubt she can back out of her own driveway."

Scrubs

- Get someone else to do it. - Like who?

"- Get someone else to do it. - Like who?"

Scrubs

Turk! Elliot's right here.

"Turk! Elliot's right here."

Scrubs

And I'm sure Dr Reid feels the same way.

"And I'm sure Dr Reid feels the same way."

Scrubs

and every second with him is time away

"and every second with him is time away"

Scrubs

Follow my lead.

"Follow my lead."

Scrubs

- And that you bruise easily. - Like an old banana.

"- And that you bruise easily. - Like an old banana."

Scrubs

- Right, Carla? - Yes.

"- Right, Carla? - Yes."

Scrubs

Hey, Todd.

"Hey, Todd."

Scrubs

Yes, sir, I did.

"Yes, sir, I did."

Scrubs

Horrible pain. I made sounds like a dolphin giving birth.

"Horrible pain. I made sounds like a dolphin giving birth."

Scrubs

- in the 1700s, is there? - Just look at the damn chart.

"- in the 1700s, is there? - Just look at the damn chart."

Scrubs

- Really? - Really.

"- Really? - Really."

Scrubs

for a while, I could regroup, you know?

"for a while, I could regroup, you know?"

Scrubs

But sometimes that's not so easy.

"But sometimes that's not so easy."

Scrubs

Gotta go. Good luck.

"Gotta go. Good luck."

Scrubs

- His wife can drive him. - His wife hates him.

"- His wife can drive him. - His wife hates him."

Scrubs

- Yeah, I do. - Thank you.

"- Yeah, I do. - Thank you."

Scrubs

How about he was unbelievably annoying,

"How about he was unbelievably annoying,"

Scrubs

and I wanted to scare him so bad

"and I wanted to scare him so bad"

Scrubs

if he knew I was sleeping with his wife.

"if he knew I was sleeping with his wife."

Scrubs

said that we're not in a relationship.

"said that we're not in a relationship."

Scrubs

- I never said that. - It's OK.

"- I never said that. - It's OK."

Scrubs

within, like, two days, consider it gone.

"within, like, two days, consider it gone."

Scrubs

Doctor, follow me. Son, have you used drugs in the last 48 hours?

"Doctor, follow me. Son, have you used drugs in the last 48 hours?"

Scrubs

Oh, no, sir. Never use drugs.

"Oh, no, sir. Never use drugs."

Scrubs

Because this shot you're about to get could kill you

"Because this shot you're about to get could kill you"

Scrubs

Mr Corman, great news.

"Mr Corman, great news."

Scrubs

But you know what? Pat yourself on the back all you want,

"But you know what? Pat yourself on the back all you want,"

Scrubs

I know that you were screwing with me,

"I know that you were screwing with me,"

Scrubs

If I didn't have cancer, I could have been just some guy

"If I didn't have cancer, I could have been just some guy"

Scrubs

looking for help that you treated like crap.

"looking for help that you treated like crap."

Scrubs

The whole thing is giving me an ulcer.

"The whole thing is giving me an ulcer."

Scrubs

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