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Clips from Community (2009) - Cooperative Calligraphy (S02E02)

Well, well, well, Harvey Keitel.

"Well, well, well, Harvey Keitel."

Community (2009)

Well, what do you know, Henry David Thoreau.

"Well, what do you know, Henry David Thoreau."

Community (2009)

My, oh, my, Mike Tyson.

"My, oh, my, Mike Tyson."

Community (2009)

Empty the bag. No, I don't have Annie's pen.

"Empty the bag. No, I don't have Annie's pen."

Community (2009)

I'm a Christian woman that doesn't open her bag.

"I'm a Christian woman that doesn't open her bag."

Community (2009)

What did the Christian woman think would happen?

"What did the Christian woman think would happen?"

Community (2009)

You'd find it on the Muslim.

"You'd find it on the Muslim."

Community (2009)

Real nice. Nicer than you, condom carrier.

"Real nice. Nicer than you, condom carrier."

Community (2009)

Dump the bag or you're guilty. No.

"Dump the bag or you're guilty. No."

Community (2009)

Call 911. Pierce... Aah!

"Call 911. Pierce... Aah!"

Community (2009)

- Pierce, you didn't need to do that. - Yes, I did.

"- Pierce, you didn't need to do that. - Yes, I did."

Community (2009)

All you guys do is talk, leaving me to do the things you won't do.

"All you guys do is talk, leaving me to do the things you won't do."

Community (2009)

People like you are the reason we took so long to get into Vietnam.

"People like you are the reason we took so long to get into Vietnam."

Community (2009)

Is this what you were trying to hide, Shirley?

"Is this what you were trying to hide, Shirley?"

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And more importantly,

"And more importantly,"

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are they seriously marketing them to black women?

"are they seriously marketing them to black women?"

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Does this mean you have a new boyfriend? Who, who, who?

"Does this mean you have a new boyfriend? Who, who, who?"

Community (2009)

Not that it's anyone's business.

"Not that it's anyone's business."

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I recently reconnected with my husband over Labor Day.

"I recently reconnected with my husband over Labor Day."

Community (2009)

The Lord may have a plan that doesn't include that slut he ran away with.

"The Lord may have a plan that doesn't include that slut he ran away with."

Community (2009)

You're not pregnant, Shirley.

"You're not pregnant, Shirley."

Community (2009)

You would have been ovulating on Halloween.

"You would have been ovulating on Halloween."

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If you're gonna have a pregnant woman,

"If you're gonna have a pregnant woman,"

Community (2009)

I say go elevator labor or go home.

"I say go elevator labor or go home."

Community (2009)

Halloween?

"Halloween?"

Community (2009)

Well, that's that, then. Yeah, what a relief.

"Well, that's that, then. Yeah, what a relief."

Community (2009)

Looks like someone narrowly avoided a mistake of their own.

"Looks like someone narrowly avoided a mistake of their own."

Community (2009)

Oh, or is it only bad if you sleep with unmarried men?

"Oh, or is it only bad if you sleep with unmarried men?"

Community (2009)

The Bible doesn't recognize divorce. You marry a man, he's your man.

"The Bible doesn't recognize divorce. You marry a man, he's your man."

Community (2009)

After he marries someone else, if you jump into the sack with him,

"After he marries someone else, if you jump into the sack with him,"

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I'm so glad you're enjoying this.

"I'm so glad you're enjoying this."

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And I hope whoever stole that pen enjoys it in hell.

"And I hope whoever stole that pen enjoys it in hell."

Community (2009)

Nice try, Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry.

"Nice try, Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry."

Community (2009)

We all have an agreement. Nobody leaves till we find it.

"We all have an agreement. Nobody leaves till we find it."

Community (2009)

We are gonna find this pen.

"We are gonna find this pen."

Community (2009)

We are gonna find that pen.

"We are gonna find that pen."

Community (2009)

Oh... And if we can't find it,

"Oh... And if we can't find it,"

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our children will find it.

"our children will find it."

Community (2009)

This incredible, magical pen that nobody knows how it could disappear.

"This incredible, magical pen that nobody knows how it could disappear."

Community (2009)

Oh, maybe it's right in here.

"Oh, maybe it's right in here."

Community (2009)

Guys, this is school property.

"Guys, this is school property."

Community (2009)

Can we just forget it?

"Can we just forget it?"

Community (2009)

It's a pen now?

"It's a pen now?"

Community (2009)

Really?

"Really?"

Community (2009)

It's not a principle anymore?

"It's not a principle anymore?"

Community (2009)

Now it's a pen?

"Now it's a pen?"

Community (2009)

You're not seriously accusing me. We searched my bag.

"You're not seriously accusing me. We searched my bag."

Community (2009)

Which is exactly the last place you'd put it

"Which is exactly the last place you'd put it"

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if you found it halfway through all this.

"if you found it halfway through all this."

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In fact, assuming that one of us does have the pen,

"In fact, assuming that one of us does have the pen,"

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who has the most incentive to make sure it never sees the light of day?

"who has the most incentive to make sure it never sees the light of day?"

Community (2009)

You wanna go there? Yeah.

"You wanna go there? Yeah."

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I'll go there, I was born there. Okay. Really?

"I'll go there, I was born there. Okay. Really?"

Community (2009)

There's a placard there commemorating me.

"There's a placard there commemorating me."

Community (2009)

What's going on and how can I help?

"What's going on and how can I help?"

Community (2009)

Annie, relax. No, you relax, Jeff.

"Annie, relax. No, you relax, Jeff."

Community (2009)

Or are you scared if you do, my pen will fall out?

"Or are you scared if you do, my pen will fall out?"

Community (2009)

Oh, you precocious little bitch.

"Oh, you precocious little bitch."

Community (2009)

Okay, guys, guys, hey, guys, stop. You're being completely illogical.

"Okay, guys, guys, hey, guys, stop. You're being completely illogical."

Community (2009)

We divide by gender then search each other in our underwear.

"We divide by gender then search each other in our underwear."

Community (2009)

What?

"What?"

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Now what?

"Now what?"

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Everybody shake. Enough to dislodge.

"Everybody shake. Enough to dislodge."

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Okay, anything hit the floor? No.

"Okay, anything hit the floor? No."

Community (2009)

What are those underwear made out of?

"What are those underwear made out of?"

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Oh, they're an organic soy-cotton blend.

"Oh, they're an organic soy-cotton blend."

Community (2009)

Don't you usually wear the stripey Beetlejuice numbers?

"Don't you usually wear the stripey Beetlejuice numbers?"

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What does she mean usually? All right, end of the road.

"What does she mean usually? All right, end of the road."

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We've torn apart the room, we've stripped.

"We've torn apart the room, we've stripped."

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There is absolutely no place left...

"There is absolutely no place left..."

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No.

"No."

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No.

"No."

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No.

"No."

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Damn it. Broke my scissors.

"Damn it. Broke my scissors."

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Here. Be careful.

"Here. Be careful."

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That's the last pair we have.

"That's the last pair we have."

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I'm worried we've gone too far.

"I'm worried we've gone too far."

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This is how super villains are created.

"This is how super villains are created."

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Can't you just make a speech about trust

"Can't you just make a speech about trust"

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throw in a few digs at a celebrity and put a ribbon on this thing?

"throw in a few digs at a celebrity and put a ribbon on this thing?"

Community (2009)

Abed, think about this for one second.

"Abed, think about this for one second."

Community (2009)

If a single one of us leaves this room before we find that pen,

"If a single one of us leaves this room before we find that pen,"

Community (2009)

What's your hurry? I'm clothing myself.

"What's your hurry? I'm clothing myself."

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I'm not comfortable in my all-together like you two anorexic jezeb...

"I'm not comfortable in my all-together like you two anorexic jezeb..."

Community (2009)

Oh, I'm so sorry, that was really mean.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, that was really mean."

Community (2009)

I don't know where that came from. We've all been through a lot today.

"I don't know where that came from. We've all been through a lot today."

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Mm-hm.

"Mm-hm."

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And maybe that's why you took my pen?

"And maybe that's why you took my pen?"

Community (2009)

What? Where are you hiding it?

"What? Where are you hiding it?"

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Oh, my goodne...

"Oh, my goodne..."

Community (2009)

All right, here we go.

"All right, here we go."

Community (2009)

Pierce, are you using Slim Jims to scratch your legs?

"Pierce, are you using Slim Jims to scratch your legs?"

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Have we not gotten to a place free of judgment yet?

"Have we not gotten to a place free of judgment yet?"

Community (2009)

This isn't it, this isn't it, where is it? Where's the pen, where's the pen?

"This isn't it, this isn't it, where is it? Where's the pen, where's the pen?"

Community (2009)

asked every student pick up a puppy and hold it

"asked every student pick up a puppy and hold it"

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so they stay warm while the volunteers hand out puppy-sized hats.

"so they stay warm while the volunteers hand out puppy-sized hats."

Community (2009)

Honestly, I don't know why I'm even making these announcements.

"Honestly, I don't know why I'm even making these announcements."

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There can't be anyone who isn't already on the quad.

"There can't be anyone who isn't already on the quad."

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Annie, I'd just like to say, on behalf of whoever actually stole this pen,

"Annie, I'd just like to say, on behalf of whoever actually stole this pen,"

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I really am sorry about all this.

"I really am sorry about all this."

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I knew it was you. I knew it was you.

"I knew it was you. I knew it was you."

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All I know is it could be any of you.

"All I know is it could be any of you."

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And for all we know, it's you.

"And for all we know, it's you."

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I wish it were. I really do.

"I wish it were. I really do."

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I wish I could just find it behind my ear.

"I wish I could just find it behind my ear."

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I'd rather be that stupid than have to think any of us might be inconsiderate.

"I'd rather be that stupid than have to think any of us might be inconsiderate."

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After all we've been through, it almost seems impossible.

"After all we've been through, it almost seems impossible."

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It seems less than impossible.

"It seems less than impossible."

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Something impossible actually seems more likely.

"Something impossible actually seems more likely."

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A Winger speech to take us home. What if a ghost took the pen?

"A Winger speech to take us home. What if a ghost took the pen?"

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Let him finish. I am finished.

"Let him finish. I am finished."

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For real, honestly, seriously, why not?

"For real, honestly, seriously, why not?"

Community (2009)

Why not just a ghost took the pen?

"Why not just a ghost took the pen?"

Community (2009)

Okay, I've been saying that for hours.

"Okay, I've been saying that for hours."

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And we should've listened to Troy from the beginning.

"And we should've listened to Troy from the beginning."

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Guys, look in your hearts and answer this question honestly.

"Guys, look in your hearts and answer this question honestly."

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What's more likely?

"What's more likely?"

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That someone in this group doesn't belong in this group or ghosts?

"That someone in this group doesn't belong in this group or ghosts?"

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If we have to choose between turning on each other

"If we have to choose between turning on each other"

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or pinning it on some specter with unfinished pen-related business,

"or pinning it on some specter with unfinished pen-related business,"

Community (2009)

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