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Clips from Community (2009) - Cooperative Calligraphy (S02E02)

"We all know the pen's in your bag."
Community (2009)
"Not if that's a used Q-tip. Ew!"
Community (2009)
"- Gross. - Yes, gross."
Community (2009)
"Welcome to the gross business of martial law."
Community (2009)
"seized and disintegrated by cowardly groupthink."
Community (2009)
"Welcome, my friends, welcome to the machine."
Community (2009)
"It looks like you were wrong."
Community (2009)
"Britta does come prepared for one thing."
Community (2009)
"Or six. Big weekend?"
Community (2009)
"Can't complain. Razzle pzazzle."
Community (2009)
"Attention, students."
Community (2009)
"The Puppy Parade is starting on the quad. Better come quick."
Community (2009)
"Every moment, these puppies grow older and less deserving of our attention."
Community (2009)
"Whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going?"
Community (2009)
"Uh, heh. It is pointless. Then you clearly stole the pen."
Community (2009)
"The Patriot Act cuts both ways."
Community (2009)
"Here's my point."
Community (2009)
"Whoever the pen thief is just watched me get Guantanamoed."
Community (2009)
"I'd like to know who it is so I can let them know they have lost my trust."
Community (2009)
"We're sorry we looked at your prophylactic equipment."
Community (2009)
"Your lifestyle mistakes are none of our business."
Community (2009)
"Oh, thanks, Shirley."
Community (2009)
"Let's rustle through your tampons and wallet so we can apologize to you."
Community (2009)
"Have you checked? If you took it by mistake, I forgive you."
Community (2009)
"If I took it, it's larceny. If you find it under mother hen, it's a mistake."
Community (2009)
"Mother hen? We're the same age."
Community (2009)
"Sure, unless time is linear. I'll make your ass linear."
Community (2009)
"That doesn't make sense. Your ass sense."
Community (2009)
"Don't get your panties puckered. We're all really thinking"
Community (2009)
"if, and I mean if, the culprit is among us, statistically speaking, it's Troy."
Community (2009)
"Yes, we were all just thinking that in 1856."
Community (2009)
"Eighteen-fifty-six? What if a ghost took the pen?"
Community (2009)
"- Please forgive him. - For what?"
Community (2009)
"For stealing the pen, dummy. Why would I take her pen?"
Community (2009)
"I don't even like having my own. It's probably under Pierce's cast."
Community (2009)
"He uses everything to itch his legs. We're on our third DVD remote."
Community (2009)
"If I took the pen, I'd say so. You probably forgot."
Community (2009)
"Been popping painkillers like Tic Tacs. Oh, yeah, right."
Community (2009)
""Side effects, verbal dysphasia and octopus loss.""
Community (2009)
"I don't see anything on this squirrel about memory."
Community (2009)
"Now I wanna know who has it."
Community (2009)
"Nice try. That doesn't take you off the list."
Community (2009)
"Jeff, you're in charge. I demand you deal with this."
Community (2009)
"There's nothing to deal with. I'll say."
Community (2009)
"Okay, all right, all right, everyone breathe."
Community (2009)
"Shut up. This is a normal day"
Community (2009)
"with friends who are done studying and a pen that rolled away."
Community (2009)
"Rolled away? Or fell down someone's shoe."
Community (2009)
"Let's check shoes. Annie."
Community (2009)
"Fine, fine."
Community (2009)
"Someone in this room is hiding your pen."
Community (2009)
"Wanna know why? They feel terrible."
Community (2009)
"They made a mistake."
Community (2009)
"They waited too long to come forward and now they feel bad."
Community (2009)
"So, pen thief, we understand what happened, and we forgive you."
Community (2009)
"- If you confess and apologize. - But here's the trick."
Community (2009)
"Because this person now has no reason not to come forward,"
Community (2009)
"if by some chance, I get to the count of three and nobody comes forward,"
Community (2009)
"guess what."
Community (2009)
"We have to accept that no one has the pen, don't we?"
Community (2009)
"Don't we?"
Community (2009)
"Good. So here we go."
Community (2009)
"One."
Community (2009)
"Two."
Community (2009)
"Pierce,"
Community (2009)
"you have something to tell us?"
Community (2009)
"Yes. Is it me, or has it become really obvious that Jeff took the pen?"
Community (2009)
"- Yes. - Definitely could be."
Community (2009)
"You wanna make a bet, you jerks?"
Community (2009)
"Lockdown. Abed, seal the doors."
Community (2009)
"Nobody leaves until this pen shows up."
Community (2009)
"I don't like this. Yeah, tell it to the pen you might have."
Community (2009)
"Gwynnifer? Hi."
Community (2009)
"Yeah, it's me. I can't make it."
Community (2009)
"Well, tell your disappointment to suck it."
Community (2009)
"Okay."
Community (2009)
"You just became my hero. Thank you."
Community (2009)
"No pen."
Community (2009)
"I can see. Why do you keep taking that tone?"
Community (2009)
"Oh, I'll field that."
Community (2009)
"If nobody else has this pen, it means you realized you had it"
Community (2009)
"and were too embarrassed to say, and we kill you."
Community (2009)
"I'm not hiding my own pen, you paranoid weirdo."
Community (2009)
"Everybody stay within each other's eyelines."
Community (2009)
"Me next, right?"
Community (2009)
"Hold on. Can we please consider the threshold that we are crossing?"
Community (2009)
"We don't trust Abed?"
Community (2009)
"He shredded my backpack. He freed my pet monkey."
Community (2009)
"Because we corrupted him. He's our innocent."
Community (2009)
"He put gum in your hair. Empty the bag, Abed."
Community (2009)
"Pierce, you don't have a bag? Giraffe."
Community (2009)
"Uh, Jeff, you don't have a bag?"
Community (2009)
"I'd never deprive the world of the part of my chest the strap would cover."
Community (2009)
"Makes sense. What's left, hugging and crying, then we're done?"
Community (2009)
"Wait, Abed, why is my name in here?"
Community (2009)
"That's mine. And Shirley's and Annie's?"
Community (2009)
"- What is it? - Charts,"
Community (2009)
"some kind of calendar?"
Community (2009)
"That's my personal private business."
Community (2009)
""Annie, 4 on, 28 off, next November 10th."
Community (2009)
"Britta, 5 on, 27 off...""
Community (2009)
"Oh, my God. Are you charting our menstrual cycles?"
Community (2009)
"What? Gross."
Community (2009)
"Abed, this is so personal. And so accurate."
Community (2009)
"I noticed it was happening more often with you three."
Community (2009)
"I noticed fluctuating patterns and started graphing them."
Community (2009)
"By the time I realized what I was measuring,"
Community (2009)
"it had started to yield positive results, so I kept doing it."
Community (2009)
"Were you ever gonna tell us about this? I feel so violated."
Community (2009)
"Thanks. More chocolate?"
Community (2009)
"Aah! Get away from me. Abed just became my hero."
Community (2009)
"Can I have a little...? No!"
Community (2009)
"Sheesh. Guess it's true what they say about the sync-up."
Community (2009)
"If I could share a few words of sarcasm with whoever took this pen."
Community (2009)
"I wanna say thank you for doing this to me."
Community (2009)
"I prefer being entombed in a mausoleum of feelings"
Community (2009)
"Whoever you are, can I get you anything?"
Community (2009)
"Ice cream? Best friend medal? Anything? Mm-mm?"
Community (2009)
"Okay, sarcasm over. You're last up, Shirley."
Community (2009)
"Dump your comedically huge bag and end this."
Community (2009)
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