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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017) - Episode #2.7 (S02E02)

"You're dead."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"Thanks to those idiots at the Daily Punctilio,"
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"Yeah, I don't really like labels. Follow that van!"
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"Oh!"
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"- Are you VFD? - We certainly are."
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"[singing]"
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"So VFD stands for Volunteers Fighting Disease?"
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"Yes. We're on our way to fight disease at Heimlich Hospital down the road."
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"You're welcome to join us, brothers and sisters."
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"I called you "brother" and "sister""
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"because we believe that all people are brothers and sisters."
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"Not always, brother."
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"We're looking for a group called VFD, we just don't think you're the one."
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"It's a huge room in the hospital with files from all over the world,"
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"containing answers to any question you could possibly have."
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"- This hospital does seem safe. - [bearded man] I hope so."
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"I heard there were murderers around these parts."
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"[laughs] No. We never read the newspaper. It's too depressing."
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"- Our motto is... - [all] No news is good news."
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"- We're here! We're here! - Now we get to help people..."
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"♪ By singing ♪"
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"Let's go, let's go."
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"- ♪ We... ♪ - ♪ Visit people who are very ill ♪"
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"♪ Even when the doctor says He must saw them in half ♪"
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"♪ Ho ho ho, hee hee hee Have a heart-shaped balloon ♪"
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"♪ Visit people who are sick And try to make them smile ♪"
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"I've never liked hospitals."
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"Being cheerful is the point of Volunteers Fighting Disease."
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"and handing out heart-shaped balloons to each person on our list."
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"- [in normal voice] Like the song says. - How does that help fight diseases?"
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"[scoffs] Hey, everyone."
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"Well, because..."
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"Because when you're laughing, you're..."
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"When you're laughing, you're taking in oxygen or whatever,"
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"and that oxygen goes, um..."
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"I thought antibiotics were."
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"- Come on, everybody! - [strumming]"
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"Wherever you go, I'm always one step behind you."
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"Not to be melodramatic, but if those brats get the sugar bowl before I do,"
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"and yours and yours and yours, and all eight of yours."
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"[both] Oi."
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"The Baudelaires and the sugar bowl are hiding in the same hospital."
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"I think it's time for a game of "doctors and nurses.""
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"That game makes me uncomfortable."
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"Other volunteers, check."
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"Here's today's patient list, which, as you know,"
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"is a complete list of patients at Heimlich."
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"- Thanks, sister. - My name is Babs."
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"♪ Tra la la, fiddle dee dee ♪"
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"Oh."
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"[babbles]"
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"Ooh, well, you have come to the right place."
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"for more years than I'd care to count."
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"Did Babs send you?"
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"[Olaf] Leave the talking to me."
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"We can both talk. We're a team of big-deal, snazzy doctors."
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"You got your master's in theater and you picked the wrong costume."
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"Dr. Medical School."
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"and these are my nurses, interns or whatever."
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"- Hello. - Dr. Medical School, you say?"
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"I don't have you on my list."
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"Goodness. Oh, dear."
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"What's wrong with this one?"
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"If you're not on the list, you can't come in."
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"- Sounds like a paperwork mistake. - Oh..."
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"[muffled] A paperwork mistake?"
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"Yeah. Okay. Yes. That does make sense. Okay."
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"like raccoons or murderers."
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"Well, I guess it's okay to say, "Welcome to Heimlich Hospital.""
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"I'm Babs, head of human resources and hospital administration."
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"See you around the operating theater."
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"You can't go yet."
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"You'll need to sign and initial this form in triplicate..."
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"- and the next 15 in quadruplicate. - Quadru..."
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"Well, then I'd need to call the authorities on you, mister."
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"[clicks tongue] Of course."
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"Paperwork makes the world go round."
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"I thought money did that."
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"Oh!"
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"You."
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"[Babs chuckles]"
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"[Hal] Paperwork is the cornerstone of what we do here at Heimlich Hospital."
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"- [Violet] Not diagnosing? - [Klaus] Or alleviating pain?"
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"[Sunny babbles]"
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"You couldn't do those things"
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"until it's time to file them in special folders."
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"I wouldn't show this to just anyone,"
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"but you look like people I feel I can trust."
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"I organized everything myself."
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"Now, not only does Heimlich Hospital store their information here,"
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"Why send it to a hospital?"
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"There's no safer place to store information than at Heimlich Hospital."
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"puddings to pyramids, and that's just the "P" aisle."
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"Think of everything we could learn from these files."
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"No, no, no."
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"They're drawn to libraries like a cat to catnip"
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"- Then the sugar bowl might be there too. - We..."
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"It's very, very, very important to me."
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"I don't know what I'll do."
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"This chute is where files go out, but you won't use it much."
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"Once paperwork comes into the library, it rarely goes out."
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"It hasn't been used in years. It's probably full of spiders."
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"Now, most of your work will involve that chute over there,"
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"but remember to read as little information as possible."
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"For instance... [clears throat]"
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"I can tell you this file has something to do with"
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"weather last week at Damocles Dock, on the shore of a lake somewhere."
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"So, I would unlock the cabinet for"
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""D," "Damocles," or "W," "weather," or "L," "last week.""
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"Wouldn't it be difficult for people to find the information?"
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"They wouldn't know whether to look in "D," "W" or "L.""
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"The Library of Records has very strict rules against checking out files."
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"[Mattathias] I'd like to check out a child."
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"I mean "file.""
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"Did I say "botulism"? I meant annoying little pimples."
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"- A "bony" what? - "Fide.""
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"and wait seven to ten business days for approval."
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"- Oh, really? - Yes, really. Now, goodbye."
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"[as Olaf] He's obviously hiding them. He could barely look me in the eyes."
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"Their filthy hands are all over my sugar bowl."
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